I have been asked to help organise a marriage here in my village. I have approached the Mairie and have been told to write formally to the Maire with the specific date.
First question: As this is a formal letter, how should I word it? Any suggestions/advice appreciated.
Other questions will no doubt arise once I get past this first hurdle.
Thanks all.
Thanks for posting all the links Celeste. Much appreciated. xx
This is an excellent site, thanks for posting Celeste.
At this rate, Celeste, I might consider adding "wedding planner" as another string to my bow. She wants the wedding in a vineyard. I am waiting to hear back from the Maire as to whether the date she wants is free - she's already changed date twice! I have no information because I cannot get past Mme. Durand at the front desk until I give the letter, so have done that. She's found the location for the wedding party itself - only 1.5 hours from Lagrasse in the Ariege. Sigh....
Hi Celeste - I tried that but she's determined. If she can't get married here, then she will go ahead and have the whole shabang in Dublin. It's a bit self-serving of me but I would prefer it here for several reasons - save us a lot of hassle getting flights back at what can be a busy and lucrative time of year for us, etc., etc.
you don't have just two temoins here in France, the last wedding I went to the mairie was full to overflowing - everyone came to the mairie, then we went off to celebrate - no need to go to the church as it has no meaning unless you believe in God...!
The Real Wedding is whatever the couple in question want it to be! I, for one, did not for one moment consider that the thoroughly forgettable signing of a contract with just the 2 witnesses at the judge's office in Akron Ohio - as I've said, the room resembled a post office with several clerks seated behind a grille - was my real wedding. That took place the next day with the whole family and many friends in attendance, including a few from the UK, in the church my husband's grandfather helped to build. If this is typical in the USA, and I understand it is so in Ohio at least, then I doubt that anyone would think of the functional contract signing as their real wedding. It was reminiscent of queueing at the prefecture to obtain a car registration license.
If here the Maire makes an effort, that all adds to the pleasure of the day, and usually the ceremonial wedding takes place immediately afterwards with all the symbolic rituals we come to expect, the giving away of the bride, the crushing of the glass under the heel (in Jewish faith), the exchange of rings etc.
Let's not be prosaic - the wedding is what you want it to be, what will be the most meaningful experience for you. And yes, John, hopefully with as much fun as possible!
Good luck Sheila, I'm sure it'll all be wonderful!
The "'real' wedding" is the civil one Celia :-) Whatever happens afterwards is just for fun.
Marriage in France is a civil contract between 2 adults which is why church weddings aren't legally recognised - clergymen are not elected representatives of the state with power to carry out contracts , power of arrest etc etc, unlike Maires. Separation of church & state came into force here over a century ago. UK clergymen of recognised churches are simultaneously registrars which is why both civil and church marriages are legally recognised in the UK. (The bigamy rate in the UK is much much higher than in France because it is so easy for people to get married and divorces don't have to be registered).
french family and friends haven't bothered with the church and the mairie was a laugh and celebration - very jovial, depends on the maire!
I seem to have caused some confusion - my apologies. As I have said, it is the legal and therefore absolutely necessary part of getting married. In France, many then go into the church afterwards for a religious service and blessing (we spent a wonderful afternoon sitting at a cafe in the Place in Fréjus watching a series of wedding parties going into the Mairie and then the beautiful church next door), as my OH and I did in Ohio - the judge's chambers to sign the contract with just our witnesses (very dry, very flat, more like getting a document stamped at the post office), and our 'real' wedding the following day in church. 'Real' in this sense simply means real to the people celebrating the marriage.
Those who do not follow that particular religion, or who come from mixed religions, can choose to have their own ceremony in their own way.
I hope that was clearer than mud! It might help you to have a look at this site for a more full explanation: http://www.professionalcelebrants.org.uk/
lieu, date (Albi, le 19 octobre 2013) on the right hand side of the page below the destinataire's address, your address being at the top left ;-)
Celia, the wedding at the mairie IS the legal wedding, there's no requirement at all to also have a church wedding which holds no official value at all. Frane is, after all, Laïque ! ;-)
Sheila, as others have said, go and see the maire in person, as anyone else would. That's by far the easiest way to ge tthings done ;-)
I wasnt actually resident but was helped greatly by the Marie and I did pop in several times over the three months to do photocopying, deliver documents etc. I think they knew I wasnt a permanent resident but turned a blind eye. In fact the Mayor of the the next village who has known my family for over 35 years said if there was an issue he would put me down as resident in his village/canton. Go to the Marie and introduce yourself, take a gift, ask questions they are usually very nice and helpful, well thats my experience. As everyone who reads this stuff will know the French love red tape, get used to it.
In the USA they have "Universalist Church" ministers, and they are generally ordinary citizens who did minimum to be able to marry people - the complete opposite of the French system.
Yes, but you won't be legally married. As said elsewhere, get the formalities done in a register office, at the Mairie, in front of a judge - whatever is required in your country of residence. Then have your beautiful wedding in France.
I own a place in Rouen but only visit for short lengths of time (so far. Unfortunately.) I see the note about being a resident in the town for three months, so maybe I'll have to wait till I can make that happen.
Another thought. If church weddings are not legally binding, can one arrange a lovely church wedding without the formal documents?
If you are resident - yes. But tons of paper work required...
Thank you Allistair. Very useful information. I did read somewhere that blood tests were no longer required, but now cannot find the link.
Hi Diana. Hopefully someome will know the answer. Are you officially resident in France?