Before anyone makes a comment that I'm writing this because I'm Admin and therefore biased or I'm after some kind of sympathy vote, don't, you would be very wrong. I'm writing this because the support I received this week helped prevent a complete emotional meltdown.
I'm at the end of what was for me a week of hell because of a threat directed at my animals which would totally destroy the happy life we've established here but most importantly completely devastate my little boy and basically I was an emotional wreck. It's been going on for months but to a much lesser degree but this was the end really. I've never mentioned it to any neighbours because I didn't want to cause more friction (although I heard yesterday that the pillock in question has spread his thoughts about me far and wide - so much for that idea).
So I mentioned it on SFN. Within hours I was contacted by one of the members who'd taken the time to check the situation with a friend of his and gave some extremely sound advice. He managed to calm me down and put things back into perspective.
It can be a bit daunting and lonely for a lass trying to raise a child in whichever country and a challenge to make his home a secure and happy one. It's also very easy to become the target for a bully who threatens to destroy it all simply because your way of life doesn't fit in with his. If I hadn't had the support I did this week things could easily have taken a bad turn.
This isn't the only example. I've received so much help since I've joined it's incredible, including phone calls, care packages and clothes for my little one.
People tend to think a community or a circle of friends is confined to a geographical area. It's not. The friends I've found on here may be spread across France and beyond but they're caring and genuine people and this is a truly sincere and heartfelt thank you.
Doreen, thanks for the welcome, its all very new to us. Thank you also for the advice we are most certainly going to rent first probably for 12 months to 2 years and see how we progress....better step up the French lessons. Ric
That's usually been my experience as well, Richard. Mostly people are simply "neighbourly" and happily do any one or more of the things you mentioned. To be honest, I think he may not be of the right mindset to make a permanent move. That house was his holiday home which I think the initial plan for was to renovate it and make a fast buck but things didn't pan out that way. I think it is his lady who would like to move out permanently more than him so he's 'stuck' in a house that he wasn't intending be a home, if the move isn't his idea then he probably has 'the hump' anyway plus he demands silence. Things seem to be stacked against him but it is his decision whether to suck it up and make the best of his new life or turn into a complete pain. Things cannot change simply because he demands that they should.
I'm new to SFN and was dismayed that you have received such intolerable behavior - No, no sympathy! I just wanted to stay that I have always lived in rural environments and have always found that neighbours stick together and keep a distant eye on one another as they each don't know when they might need their support or help. Bad weather, lost kids/dogs, Illness and births /bereavement, Ive found have always brought the community together - but I suppose there are always exceptions and I wont let it put me off relocating (eventually) to somewhere in France. Best of luck. Ric
I did try that Louise and failed dismally - not sure if I don't do it for long/often enough or whether they've just blooming stubborn. It's the same old nonsense every time and they just seem to try to out-bark each other. They're both males. Maybe it's a competition thing, lol. Mind you the littlest one is a type of spitz and there are annual barking competitions for those. Big surprise. I think the record is 120 barks in one minute or something. Yikes.
Thanks. I came back from 35°C in Spain to rain. For barking, I have two Shetland Sheepdogs, this is a breed that barks a lot, and I have found ignoring them works well. If they bark when I come downstairs or come home, I turn my back to them and won't speak to them until they are quiet for some time. I found that one hardly barks at all now and the other one is generally much quieter.
Yes, two of mine tend to go slightly berserk when they hear the car come back. I tell them to shut up but obviously they simply ignore me. They're like a couple of excited excited teenagers. I can imagine the older, much more sensible one (and female of course, lol) sitting to the side frowning at them. Yes, I hope he keeps his grumbles to himself once he realises that it's not working now. As for the SPA, considering up until a month ago I was one of their foster families ...
ps I hope you had a fabulous holiday. Welcome back to the rain.
I've just read this post coming back from holiday. I don't think this man will do anything at the end of the day and is just throwing his weight around The SPA is inundated with abandoned pets, especially during the summer, so I doubt they will come out to take some dogs that sometimes bark. It seems to me that he has already annoyed the other neighbours and will just end up alienating everyone, especially if he complains about children. One of my (ex) neighbours came out shouting at some children playing ball outside his house and all the neighbours detested him from then on. He did not stay long. Once, my next door neighbour complained that my dogs barked when I was at work, and I just said that I had to go to work and I heard nothing more from her. I asked my friends in the street if they did bark much and they said that they did not bark, or only occasionally. And also I hear various dogs barking at various times of the day and night all the time, which perhaps is the same where you are. One neighbour's dog sounds as if it is being strangled every time it's owners return from work. Recently, my other next door neighbour had a dog that howled continuously day and night for some weeks and that got just one or two comments from the neighbours but no-one did anything at all. If you already live there and know and get on with the neighbours, they will take your side over someone moving in and complaining about everything. I find French people don't complain and don't like people who do.
If he's been keeping a beady eye on me on Google - Hello, you!! Happy reading? - then he'll already know, Doreen. He may have tried (and seemingly failed dismally) to lord it over the neighbours. If he's silly enough to try it with you ferocious lot, I'd almost feel sorry for him, lol!
Valerie, I'd no idea about all this until I read your "Thank You". What you have now seen is that for every bad apple, there's a barrel-full of good ones; and the proverb is wrong: the bad one doesn't spoil all the good ones. Keep going, keep smiling. Good ALWAYS overcomes evil eventually, just as, when you switch on a light, the darkness is dispelled.
Heaven indeed, sounds lovely! Church bells? Night chorus, even the hissing things: all natural I love that stuff! I LOLed at the 12 cocks story. Too funny :D
Yes, the Carolinas in Autumn sounds lovely. My mom grew up in Vermont and loved visiting friends there in Autumn, the leaves changing and all. I spent Sunday with my sister down at the beach in Redondo Beach, (where my salon is located), and we were talking about France, our futures, retirement, etc. I told her that it wasn't that I hated L.A., but growing old, even in that area of the U.S. without social services, pension, nor more than 1 family member was a very grim prospect indeed. I will miss the beach, but we can holiday in Spain or any number of beaches over there. When we have time/money, we travel only to France. We'd love to travel more, even a 'small week' as they say over there. I'm putting up a picture or two of what we had to 'endure' on Sunday, hehe
Should you need the law on noise pollution, Valerie, go to the Official Sites section of Useful Links where there is a link. You may also, at some point, need the services of a huissier to draw up an official report on how much noise your dogs make which he would have to accept. For that, see the Legal section.
Thank you, Theo. I actually think rottweilers are magnificent, especially those properly cared for. Such a shame your neighbour lost in the local election ...
've probably missed the main thing. So had to read through all the comments to get the picture... Valerie, you know it actually, but again: with "ruthless" tolerance and wit you are well armed! A joke over a grumbler is making him more powerless less arguments. That he is a country fellow of yours, so his grumblings only amuse the natives and this in turn you can use in the future for your advantage. After taking care for over a year for 2 huge Rottweiler I have had funny experiences, even despite the fact that they rarely bark but charged with preconceptions. The nagging only stopped as I offered generously to the busybodies in the village a "good" publicity ;-)... Ha, he lost in the local the election and we are good now. Its really all about tolerance. Nice post of you anyway.