THE FEAR....
hello guys
i've so far been a lurker on this site, so feel a little rude to suddenly ask you all for your help before properly getting to know anybody, but we (myself, husband, 6 year old daughter) are moving to france next month and i am having the biggest attack of 'the fear' known to man. Every fibre of me is screaming 'don't do it, stay where you are, it's a ridiculous idea'... but we are almost there, we've found a place to rent, enrolled our child into school, i am currently doing my last day in my office (where i've worked for 9 years) and told the world and his wife. Where has the excitement gone?
Someone please reassure me that this is normal, i feel like i shouldn't go because if it was the right thing then i wouldn't feel so hysterical.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Paul Hughes on -
Don't worry Thea, I think it happens to most of us. We drove down and were literally 2 miles from our destination, Antibes, when we had our biggest case of jitters. Luckily we had sold everything back in the UK or we may well have turned around. It will be strange for you at first and I think that is where the 'fear' comes from. Humans have always been scared of the unknown. Just keep saying to yourself that literally hundreds of thousands of ex pats have moved to France and the vast majority of them are still here and loving it (most of the time).
Whereabouts are you moving to?
Good luck and keep in touch with the site to share your experiences. We are always here to help out if you need anything.
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Permalink Reply by Simon O'Corra on -
Completely natural, when leaving what you know and coming to something you don't. Just take one day at a time. Don't be afraid of the fear either, that's all it is after all. Life will unfold for you. Always here for reassuring chats and suggestions from our experience. Where are you coming to in France?
Simon
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Permalink Reply by Thea Freeman-Smith on -
Thanks Simon, 'one day at a time' is good advice, i am currently fretting over things that may or may not go wrong... we are moving to Pellegrue, near Duras.
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Permalink Reply by Simon O'Corra on
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do you know people there? do you know French? If not get your self a kindly French person on board they are invalauable
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Permalink Reply by Thea Freeman-Smith on
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Thanks Paul, it's good to hear that from someone who has experienced it. It seems that most people (here in the UK) think i should be letting off party poppers and look at me like i'm a spoilt brat for being slightly concerned. It's so hard to explain that even though we want to do it, it doesn't stop you being really anxious. I know it's bad now because even my unflappable husband is worrying. He will travel back to the UK for work - Freelance - and is worried about that because of the state of the economy. I suspect the doom all over the news doesn't help that one, and even if we were to stay here, that would still be a concern at the moment. Anyway, i'm losing my hysteria thread.... thanks again for your response, it helps to know i'm not going crackers.
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Permalink Reply by Christa GIMBLETT on -
Well you can hardly bin it now, can you? Besides, you can always do something else later on if you want to - it's not like you're going to be manacled to the place and it's the last decision you ever get to make. Have a cup of tea - things will be fine.
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Permalink Reply by John Dawson on -
Tea is terribly un-French; have a glass of wine instead! the alcohol may calm your nerves (or maybe not) but it should serve to relax you a little bit...
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Permalink Reply by LIsa Baisch on -
It is of course entirely normal. Whatever your reasons are for relocating to France, there is an adjustment period to life in France for "etrangers". It is not a month or two, but more like a year, maybe more....especially if you are learning the language after you arrive. The "fear" happens to everyone, so here's a little help: Growth, personal and otherwise, happens for people who say, "Feel the Fear and do it anyway".
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Permalink Reply by Thea Freeman-Smith on
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so good to have this support! i've now stopped snivelling, a colleague is making me a cup of tea and i'm about to have the first of many handover meetings. So, very appreciative that you've all made me feel less like an idiot and more like the 'warrior' that i am. (that is of course a joke!)
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Permalink Reply by Simon O'Corra on
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it takes strength of purpose and real bravery to do what you are doing, so take comfort in the fact that you are strong and all will be well, even when it seems it isn't. We sill get wobbles about being here 4 years in, but the life is so perfect in truth.
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Permalink Reply by Alisa Rosseter on -
Of course it's normal. You are moving to a different country. But why are you moving? Have you always wanted to live here or is it for another reason. We moved here in 2008 for a 1 year trial (sabbatical) returned to the states and couldn't wait to return. We sold our business and moved back in October 2010. No regrets! I will say there are some things you have to get used to, but for us it's been amazing and we are so happy here. Where in France are you moving?
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Permalink Reply by Jane Williamson on -
Stepping into the unknown is bound to cause concern., but it is also an adventure.
Somethings will be better than you thought and you will also have problems along the way, but that's life wherever you are.
Being on the network means that you always have someone on hand to ask for help or have a little rant or moan.
Bon courage!
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