We in accord! 
Deleted
Anna, please donât be touchy. I rather think that it is you who are so close to the situation that you fail to see an objective opinion when it is given in good faith.
Forget it Jane - Iâm not close to the situation, it was more than 20 years ago and it didnât impact on me even at the time, I was an outside observer, I found the situation sufficiently inexplicable/surprising/whatever to have remembered it down the years, and thatâs why it came to mind when Mike mentioned NFR. Thatâs all.
Anna, not wanting to cause further upset for you, as seems to have happened, I am very sorry if the tone or content of my post seemed objectionable to you. Sometimes, I realise, the way I write may seem flat-footed or pompous, itâs not intentionally so. It may be âan age thingâ.
The policy I referred to is over 20 years old, and is not well- or widely-understood. Finding out patient preferences re resuscitation is a delicate matter, and is not directed at everyone, usually at elderly people who have incurable malignant disease or other life-limiting patholgoies. If patients so approached donât want to engage in any discussion about the matter, that is accepted without question.
In my nursing experience (which includes many years of caring for the elderly and very elderly) most people welcome the opportunity to express a preference, and more often than otherwise opt for NFR. The decision can always be reversed and is subject to regular review.
The patient is always advised to consider sharing the decision with the next of kin, but this is an option for them to reflect on, not a suggestion. The fact that such decisions are often strongly challenged by next-of-kin suggests that people who donât want to be resuscitated (or donât want attempts to be made) arenât keen on making their wishes known to their families. This decision can lead to distress and discord amongst family members, accusations of coercion by some, sinister motivation by others. One doesnât have to have a wild imagination to see the possibility for trouble.
Nurses are frequently harangued by relatives about this issue: accused of lying about it; accused of a âcover-upâ; accused of wanting to be rid of a bed-blocker. Explaining the situation rationally and honestly leads to risk being labelled a âcold-blooded robotic jobsworthâ, an âuncaring tick-boxerâ or worse.
Resuscitation in the sick elderly is seldom an effective intervention in , and if technically successful, may nonetheless lead to an undesirable state of existence afterwards When I was in hospital ten years ago after a stroke that I thought might kill me, I opted for NFR although I hoped very much I might survive. I wanted to get well, even if my life was seriously altered. I knew that a seocnd stroke might leave me in a persistent vegetative state. I didnât want my family to have to cope with that. Many old people feel the same way. I did tell my wife of my decision, and left it to her judgement in telling our children. She didnât. Better that they didnât have to deal with that.
Best wishes
Hope this helps.
Good grief Peter, do let it go. It hasnât caused me any upset, apart from irritation at having got into a discussion Iâm not interested in having. I had no emotional attachment at all to the lady in question. I was merely rmaking a comment with reference to a situation I observed, objectively (as one does, having no emotional involvement) a long time ago, because it seemed relevant to the turn the thread had taken. I wish I hadnât bothered, Iâve deleted it. Can we mark it Do Not Resuscitate please?.
(In case you thought I was an impressionable fluffy young thing and you needed to explain gently that people sometimes need to be allowed to die - donât worry, Iâm well past my sell-by date and I certainly have no interest in being kept alive by surgical or chemical intervention when itâs time to go. My partner and I are both members of Dignity in Dying. So no bedside manner needed, but thanks anyway.)
3 Likes
1 Like
See talking about Brexit and May makes you all sound so sad and ready to leave the planet! Enjoy youtselvesâŚget out and spend time in the summer sun ( when it comes back)
You are in a beautiful country in the hands of capable Macron and we are in alliance with Arnold Shwartnigger who is chums with our Mare in Libourne.
1 Like
Arnold SchwarzâŚfriends with a female horse!?.. Fake news surely 
3 Likes
No Kris not " fake news"
Charente is not Libourne and surrounds.