"les bises" in France

It is 2 in the South -West but it is 3 in the Mid-South without a doubt. I live in the Languedoc- Roussillion and it does not stop at 2…it goes on. However, I am from the East and it is 2 there. I have a map of bisous that I use in my classes, students find it rather cute and enlightning.

Agreed- 2 in the south west but cheek touching on all occasions.

I have to disagree with you here: it is not 4 kisses everywhere in Paris, in fact most of Paris is 2 bises , Between Blois and Paris seems to be 4 kisses. However not many people give 4 bises throughout the country. Family traditions also play a role there.

I wrote this elsewhere and posted it up on SF this morning - it’s a bit tongue in cheek, but does address the thorny issue of le bisou.
Let me know your thoughts

I find it's air for those I don't know well and more of a cheek smacker for my closer friends.

It's 2 in the South West not 3!

It’s easy for us girls but I know my husband was caught out when a good male friend gave him Les Bises on his birthday. We now know for any celebration & he is prepared for les bises otherwise for him an enthusiastic handshake is good at al other times with other fellows.

Thank you Loren, however this is what I know: regional customs play a large role, so do specific occasions. Thinking back in time I think that the custom of bises is alive and well...

In the south of France 3 bises is definelty not too much , but just right. It is expected. In one small part of France 4 is the norm. Where I grew up in the NE two is the number. My son's friends (20-30ish+ friends)rarely miss to give me the usual 3 bisous (in the south). When going to someone's house for dinner: if you don't know the other guest you shake hands, but at the end of the evening you usually give bises. At any rate you can see it coming, but even the French get caught sometimes!

How many kisses absolutely depends on what region you're in. Here in the eastern Loiret, it's 3. But I've asked several people over the years and they all give different answers depending on where they're from.

I always start out with 2 and try to observe whether the person wants to continue or not. As for "air" kisses, that's so Parisian. In real France, everyone touches.

cheek & it’s 3 down south not 2!

My biggest worry is 'cheek or air'?

I was told air by one french friend and then the next few times got greeted by others I got two planted firmly on my cheeks!

I know this is a rather old post to reply to but when I started work in a factory office in the Ardenne, I was well and truly initiated in Les Bises (two per person in my office but 3 or 4 dependant on the French region - or whether you were in Belgium or Holland).

I was caught out on my birthday too when the office manager and a colleague turned up at my desk and muttered something along the lines of “this is what we do around here” and planted their bristly bises. Although at the time I felt a bit uneasy about it, I did feel this was a good sign that I was being accepted and integrating well.

Old post and also possibly old habit…not sure that France (and other countries) will return to such widespread kissing in the future?

Among groups of close friends quite possibly, but I think the days of politesse kissing are over. Which in some ways is a shame, but in others makes life easy - and gives 10 minutes more exercise in our pilates class!

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Not so sure, possibly depends on where you are.

The other day we saw two former neighbours who relocated to the Loire in 2012, at the end of our first summer in the village (although not because of us!) and who’ve been trying to sell their former home ever since (it’s about 600 years old, needs a complete renovation and has a crumbling early mediaeval house, or tower in the back garden that’s at least twice as high as the house - but otherwise it’s a snip).

Anyhow, we’ve not seen them since they returned for last year’s debroussillage, but after we’d each announced that we were vaccinated, there was the traditional full Aveyronnais exchange of three bises,. So, perhaps old habits don’t die that easily.

I’d say our current bis to bis ratio is around 50% of what it was and suspect some of our english friends are relieved. On the other hand, I don’t really miss bising a french male friend who only seems to shave once a week.

First of all, this paragraph has already in Survive France Network but not everyone has seen it:

“In my opinion, the most remarkable cultural difference is in the way people greet each other. At breakfast, I must say “bonjour” to the strangers in the room, who happen to be guests in the same hotel. On leaving the room, I wish them all “good day gentlemen” like something out of a period drama. Upon arriving at the office, I shake everyone’s hand except for the women, who receive two kisses instead. If I meet other colleagues during the day, the same ritual applies. At lunchtime, I have to shake the hand of any colleagues at the table that I have not seen and of course wish them “bon appétit”. At the end of the working day, I have to shake the hand of my colleagues again, kiss the women again and wish them all a good evening. It all seems strange for an Englishman abroad who was taught not to speak with strangers, who eats his meals with the minimum of formalities and who does his best to avoid physical contact with his colleagues.”

To this I would add that there are of course regional versions of these traditions wherever you travel in France. Colleagues are considered as extended family so they are treated as such.

However it is also important to note that the number of bises varies according to the country you are in. In Walloon Belgium, it is 4 bises. In the Netherlands it is 3 bises. Or is that the other way around? Either way I have always tried to follow the other person with various degrees of clumsiness.

It used to take an age to get the local choir to stop kissing and chatting and start rehearsing! The choir disbanded before Covid started., and I’m not sure that kissing will be such a priority if rehearsals restart.