We've recently moved back here after 4 years living in England. Although my little boy was born here in France, he was 9 months old when we moved back to the UK because of work and therefore was not subjected to any French language throughout his toddler and pre-school years.
We moved back here last August to enable him to start school here in France and he settled right in straight away. The main reason for this smooth entry into his French education was that his Maitresse spoke English having lived in London for 3 years previously and so he had his own translator permanently on hand to explain everything that was happening during his school day.
Whilst this meant that he happily settled in without any drama or tears or tantrums, we now find ourselves in the situation where he has become lazy about learning French and no longer listens when his teacher is speaking in French as he knows that it will all be translated and explained to him afterwards!
His teacher says that whilst she is trying to encourage him to understand and speak French it is also important that he understands what is happening in class and so she reverts back to English as soon as he says he doesn't understand and this, it seems, is what he now relies on!Whilst trying to help him I feel she is inadvertently not helping him, if you see what I mean!
We are now trying to find a local French tutor for him to have separate French lessons to help him with this but have not been successful finding anyone so far.
Does anyone else have experience of this? Any suggestions or advice? Or does anyone know of any French tutors in the vicinity of Sainte Hermine in the Vendee region?
It would also be nice to meet up with other Mums with young children, if there is anyone out there from the Vendee region?!
When we moved to from England to the south of France 13 years ago with three children aged 9, 11 an 13, it was a nightmare for everyone to decide how the language problem would be solved. If it helps.. I should say that my 9 year old daughter, who spoke no French when we arrived, is now 22 year old and has a wonderful job in Barcelona, speaking English, French and Spanish fluently. Don't worry... immerse her in French, apart from when she talks to you.. use everything around you from cereal packets to magazines to TV programmes.. she will learn ... it will probably take 2 years. No English TV or DVDs.. French French French. And if she is invited to go on holiday with French friends or to stay with French friends at their house .. say yes, yes, yes.
Even my son, who was 13 when we arrived (and for him it was twice as difficult) now lives, works and speaks French all the time, except when he speaks with me.. he is now 26 and he and his French girlfriend presented us with twin sons a year ago. I am hoping he might speak a bit of English with them!
Stay cool.. don't worry... she will speak fluent French and better than you, before you know it.
You will know that all is OK when she tells you to not to speak because your French is so bad that she is embarrassed!
One thing my kids did really enjoy doing in France was going to the local bakery/tabac on their own with a little pocket money to buy a chocolate bar/bread. Maybe this is something you could try (if your location allows it), even if you wander a little outside the shop and let him do the buying on his own. He may not speak much but it encourages them to be able to deal with only a foreign language speaker all on their own and survive it!!! :-)
Hi Angela, Whilst not living in France we had a similar problem here in SA with my kids learning to speak Afrikaans. At home we only speak English and whilst both of us can understand Afrikkaans neither of us speak it or have made the effort to learn it. The easiest way to get your son fluent is to surround him with kids who only speak French. The summer camp suggested is a great idea (he may still be a little young?), aftercare, play dates, parks are all places he will only hear French being spoken. If you can get a few parents on board (maybe speak to his teacher at school) and let him go and play at other kids houses once or twice a week. Encouragement from a French mum for making an effort to try might do the trick! My kids Afrikaans only started to take place once they spent time in Afrikaans homes. You could also "employ" a young teen to spend time with him at the park/doing things together etc on a regular basis. If there is a translator of any sorts they will always pick this option as an easy way out :-)
Some may disagree but it is a boy thing. Girls are the great communicators and will try and communicate with their peers immediately which can lead to tears and be very frustrating but will quickly show an aptitude for language. Boys do not like to be humiliated and will often wait until they are fluent in a language before an adult will realise they know it. They will play and communicate with their peers but clam up infront of adults. This can take up to two years. This is from my and friends experiences with their English boys in French schools. Give it lots of time and make sure they are happy at school. In the meantime by some Muzzy (Google it) language aids which are great fun for all.
Not quite relevant to your situation but something you might find interesting.
My two grandchildren aged 8 & 5 came to stay with me for their summer holidays and my daughter and son-in-law decided they wanted to encourage the childrens understanding of the language and culture.
We enrolled them in the 'summer school' for 4 weeks which they attended for 5 days a week for 4 weeks.
What a success story ! They thoroughly enjoyed the activities and days out in the forest making camps etc., going horse riding, picnics to various lakes for swimming and games, and so much more. They ate lunch with the other children (usually about 20) and have tried so many new things.
They did not speak French when they arrived apart from bits of vocabulary and numbers etc. taught at their school but integrated very well. I think children have a universal way of communicating!
They continued at the summer school when their parents returned here for their summer holiday and took great delight in correcting their fathers accent (which he deliberately hammed up!!)
Their teachers in the UK thought it was a brilliant idea, the kids thoroughly enjoyed it ( they did far more than if they had been at home for the summer holidays) and are really looking forward to repeating the experience again this year.
So much so they wanted to go in the Easter holidays but unfortunately their school holidays don't match ours here so now they are asking us to see if they can attend the local school for a couple of weeks!!!
I think Izzy (age 3) is waiting until she is confident enough to speak and get it right, I sort of get the feeling with her that the right thing to do is to leave her to it and one day she will just speak. I did fret about them not speaking/understanding before they went to school but I had great advice from the wise mums and dads on Franglais Kids (thank you again Tracy!) to not worry about it and they were right. Jasmine (4) now has a wonderful accent and she seems at ease speaking French (to French people) except if I try to coax her when she gets cross with me. I have backed off and leave her to it. I've just enrolled her in a ballet class and she is getting on just fine.
Tonight was lovely though, Jasmine was teaching Maisy (2) numbers first in English then in French. Maisy repeated every word perfectly. It made up for the fact they've taught her to say poo poo caca cake constantly (which I have to keep ignoring or it encourages it!).
Is there a facebook group for english/french speakers in your area? Possibly you could meet up with other mums/dads on there? I've met quite a few parents from SFN in Herault including French/English/American parents where we all want our kids to speak both languages at ease. It's really good as actually having spent so much time in a French environment at school the kids love being able to play and communicate in English at weekends/Wednesdays. I think they do need the 'down time' because can you imagine the headache we would have if we were immersed into the French education system for 7 hours a day?
I remember when we first moved here, dinner parties used to give me a headache and that was before the wine kicked in...its the massive concentration that's required. I think these little people are doing fab.
Gently bring in the French cartoons but if he prefers English then I would say let him choose. I now believe that over time the French will come naturally and soon you will have them saying 'Mummy you can't speak French because you weren't born in France whereas we were'. Cheeky madame. On the name front, I also understand him pronouncing it with the accent. Jasmine I pronounce Jasmin whereas in French it is more like Jasmeeen. When she is saying her name in French she pronounces it proudly as Jasmeeen. It makes me chuckle every time. She just wants to fit in. In another couple of years I reckon our concern will be how do we keep their English skills up...whereby I will fall upon the advice once again of the Franglais Kids members who are a couple of years ahead of us with their kids and can share all :)
Thanks for your reply too! I think I am worrying unnecessarily about it! As I mentioned in my reply to Suzanne, he's a bright boy who wants to fit in so you're right, I'm sure if I leave him to it in his own time he'll pick it up soon enough.
Although, I think you've hit a nail on the head about him getting more attention by not speaking it, that's just the sort of thing he'd do! He loves being the centre of attention and he has a soft spot for his teacher so I wouldn't be surprised if this is the way he's found to monopolise her attention! Yes, kids are too clever and mine certainly knows how to charm and manipulate situations to his advantage!
Thanks so much for your reply, it's helped me relax a bit more about it all!
His reluctance to speak French actually seems to stem more from him worrying about getting it wrong than simply not wanting to speak it. He's always been reluctant to answer any questions when he isn't 100% sure he knows the correct answer and seems to have an innate fear of getting things wrong! I thought perhaps if i found a tutor it would build his confidence up!
He does have a desperate need to fit in. We named him Leon but he likes to write his name with an accent the French way 'Léon' on his drawings. Unfortunately he was told at school that this wasn't allowed as it wasn't the legal spelling of his name. This caused a lot of tears and upset as he says he wants to be a "proper French boy"!
I'm glad to hear you also have a child who tells you not to speak French to them! He seems more accepting of it whilst we are out but at home he tells me "No more French Mummy" I can't blame him. He struggles with the long school day as it is (In England he only went to nursery 3 afternoons a week!) and it must be so mentally draining trying to listen and understand a foreign language for 7.5 hours a day on top of that!
He's a bright child and I know he does understand a lot more than he lets on as I've been able to observe him in school myself. I volunteered (somewhat inadvertently but so glad I did!) to help out every other week when the children go to a local Salle de Sport for PE lessons. This has been good for him and great for my French! (Trying to control groups of mixed age children in English is bad enough, but VERY challenging in French!)It has meant that I've been able to observe him in the school environment whilst he's been unaware of me and it's been reassuring to see how well he mixes with the other children.
We do have a little boy the same age next door who's in his class. At first we thought this was a godsend but it seems the little boy has a rather nasty streak in him and can be rather mean to Leon at school so I haven't pushed for any playdates between them! Also his Mom, although very nice, is extremely shy and with my limited French skills it is very hard work to make conversation!
It's hard knowing what to do for the best isn't it? I don't want to push him too much for fear of it having the opposite effect and ending up with him hating French. It's been nice for his teacher to speak English and it has settled him in but I know he's capable of understanding it more if he's pushed a little! He had a French language assessor come in one day not long after he started and she said he would pick it up very quickly as he understood a lot with very few hand gestures needed. I think I'll just let him learn in his own time then, but I do think I'll mention to the teacher to perhaps be a bit more reluctant to speak English. She could always fall back on that if it's important to be understood.
Some friends of ours here had a little girl who was 3 when she moved here and she struggled for the first 6 months but suddenly she came home one night and said "It's OK now Daddy, they've started speaking English to me!" Her dad went straight to the school to ask the teachers not to speak English as he wanted her to be immersed completely in the language and they told him they hadn't been speaking to her in English it was that she'd started to understand French!
I'll try to keep it all fun then and let him watch French cartoons and try online French childrens games as I've found a few sites with those. Hopefully this will trigger his confidence and he'll be more confident about speaking it without realising!
I would say that the main problem is the offer of translation. My twins were 5 when we came over and I had deliberately not taught them any french as I didn't want them picking up my poor accent (or bad grammar). Cruel as it may have seemed I 'dropped' (some would say dumped) them into maternelle where no-one spoke English. They knew 'merci' and 'toilette' and that was it! We arrived 27th Sept, by Xmas one twin was chattering away in french - the other speaking a made up language which was neither french nor english - she caught up by the following Spring. From then on they have never looked back. They have not had any additional french lessons and we only speak English at home with English TV (very important to keep their English on a par with their french). So if you can gently request that his teacher stops translating so he has to use the french I'm sure he will pick it up in no time - your concern then will be in making sure his English keeps pace.
Don't worry about it is the first thing. Secondly make he is exposed to French as much as possible, french TV/dvds/computer games, french kiddie friends round to play - join football or something where he has to join in. Ask the teacher NOT to speak to him in English, at 5 years old he is not going to miss out at that much. I remember when my kids were in MS/GS, the emphasis was on drawing the shapes that would eventually make up the letters and recognizing the sound of the letter. My friends son was born here and they had massive stress over the child not speaking French at school even though he spoke English fine at home. They took him to physcalogues, orthonphonistes, etc It just took time, now he is 7 and talking French absolutely fine. This is a child that was born here and just chose not to speak the language til he was ready. There may be an element of the fact that by not speaking the language he is getting much more attention and he likes that! Kids are clever!
Hi Angela, My two little girls age 3 and 4 started Maternelle last September after 18 months back in London. They both spoke little French at all, the eldest one understood a bit but the younger one hardly anything. In the first term, they both barely spoke, the younger one refuses to speak at all in French even now.
Their teacher speaks only French to them. I have noticed in this second term that the elder one is speaking more and more french with a wicked accent (puts mine to shame) and the younger one I have been told by the Maitresse is now speaking simple words in French. They get on ok though and together they play and speak in French. They've taught my youngest (2) how to say the naughty words like caca boudin...so I am pretty sure it's all sinking in nicely even if they won't speak generally in French yet. It will happen I am sure.
I would suggest give him till the end of this first year, see how he settles, my 3 year old bluntly refuses to speak French and tells me 'DONT SPEAK FRENCH MUMMY' outside of school whereas the eldest one is ok and now responds in French to other French people although she too doesn't like me speaking to her in French. I'm ok with that though, they are progressing and are happy at school that's the most important thing. I think it must be a massive shock to start school and be surrounded by children and teachers speaking only French. My 3 year old struggles the most but she's lucky she has her sister in moyenne section and they share lessons together which I am pretty sure means she translates for her sometimes.
Their English is excellent and at home we speak only English though I have now started to read the odd French book to them as we joined the school Ecole de Loisirs book club. Actually this is helping me too!
I think it's good if the teacher can revert to English as it will help him settle, speaking French will come along naturally as he will roleplay with other children and they won't speak English (though no doubt they will try - many kids in our school have created their own version of franglais to communicate with my girls) I find the whole immersion in another language at such a young age fascinating as they come out with all sorts of phrases I've not heard of before but which make sense. Another suggestion I have is Peppa Pig cartoon in French - it's great for all the base phrases of normal family life. Have you tried that?
Do you have other little friends over for playtime? That might also help reassure you if you hear them speaking/communicating together?