A little mid-week humour to lighten the mood

[Bonzocat]

A Scottish joke, but I have a Scottish links, so don’t mind…bet it’s an oldie though…

An Arab Sheikh was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. He had a rare blood type that couldn’t be found locally, so the call went out around the world.

Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood.

After successful surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.

A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a further corrective surgery procedure, and the Scotsman was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was disappointed that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him:

“I thought you would be more generous than that. Last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates?”

To this, the Arab replied: " Aye, laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins."

[Corona]

I am not sure but wasn’t that posted on here recently?

[Bonzocat]

Searched for another ‘Arab Sheik’ post in this topic. Not found.

[Corona]

I can hardly ever find anything. I may have read it elsewhere but didn’t want the racist slur

[JohnH]

I think it was the Yorkshire variant

[SuePJ]

It was, posted by JohnBoy.
I think it’s ok to tell Jewish jokes if you are a Jew, Yorkshire jokes if you are a Yorkshireman and Arab jokes if you are an Arab, and, of course Irish jokes if you are Irish (thank you Dave Allen). Otherwise, not so much.

[billybutcher]

@JohnH

I think it was the Yorkshire variant

It was, I believe. Anyway less discussion more funny business please.

[Bonzocat]

Sorry, an ageist joke..

Two older couples are going out to dinner together, the men in the front seat of the car, the women in the back. The men start talking about great restaurants they’ve been to, and the driver talks about a fantastic meal he had at one place. His friend asks “What’s the name of that restaurant?”

The driver thinks hard, can’t remember, and asks his friend,“What’s the name of that flower, it’s red, it smells nice…”

His friend says “Rose?” And the driver says,“Yeah,” and then looks into the back seat at his wife and says, “Hey Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant…”

[Mik_Bennett]

Sat in the dentists waiting room this morning, I read a notice that said you could now organise your annual control on line.

Curious, I asked how this worked. Did I have to hold the phone camera up to my mouth.

She stared at me a while and said no you just make a RDV and come in like everybody else.

[Ancient_Mariner]

[billybutcher]

Oldie:

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets in the back seat, and after a few minutes, she notices the very handsome driver keeps staring at her.

She finally asks “My child, why are you staring at me?”

He hesitates and says “I… I have a question, but I don´t want to offend you.”

She smiles kindly and replies, “My son, I’ve been a nun a long time. I´ve heard just about everything. I promise you, nothing you say will offend me.”

So he says “Alright… I’ve always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun.”

She pauses, then says “Well…. Let’s see what we can do. Are you single?”

“Yes!” he says, excited.

“And are you Catholic?”

“Absolutely!”

She nods “Then pull into that alley.”

He does, and she give him a kiss so passionate it could melt stained glass.

As they drive away, the cabbie starts crying.

The nun gently asks, “My dear child, why are you crying?”

He sniffles and says “Forgive me, Sister… I’ve sinned. I lied. I’m married … and I’m Jewish.”

The nun smiles and says “That’s okay. My name’s Dave and I´m on my way to a Halloween party.”

[Ancient_Mariner]

I can’t help but think I’ve seen that in the thread before, though a search doesn’t find it.

[Bonzocat]

I was going to post that one….!

[Porridge]

[hairbear]

I know someone exactly like that, and he’s a Yorkshireman

[MichaelL]

[quote=“billybutcher, post:7421, topic:37545, full:true”]
Works for drones.
[/quote]They’ve got a terrible record when it comes to landing

[Ancient_Mariner]

[Ancient_Mariner]

[Ancient_Mariner]

[Susannah]