American needs help about nasty divorce

Hello fellow Friends of France and Toulousians,

My french husband left me about three week ago, he wants a divorce. He filed for divorce with a lawyer. I feel hurt, alone, and lost. He took our things and left to his parents house. He said he wants me out of the apartment by end of November, he is pressuring me to leave!

All my family are in California. I have alot of things bothering me at the moment. I need help to work out my difficulties. I need friends to find comfort. I have a few friends and neighbors who help me but I can’t rely on them because they are busy.

Currently I can stay in my apartment but he wants me to leave by end of November. I went to a lawyer who said I have the rights to stay until I see the judge… My lawyer helped me write a letter to

reverse it, so I can stay! I reversed the congé he put in to end the rent contract. I felt better about that but his lawyer is saying I must leave. The thing is because we are married we live here mutually and need both

our signatures to end the lease. He ended the rent contract but because

we have not seem a judge I have the right to stay because he abandoned

the place of domicile congegal.

He wants me to go this week to sign the divorce papers but I don’t want

to and wont. I have the right to say no to divorce, you need two to get

married. I am not sure what will happen. But if I don’t want a divorce… I was

happy in my marriage even with the ups and downs. And it was

difficult being in a different country which put alot of pressure on our relationship.

He really is in a hurry to divorce me! And to push me out of the apartment. An attack on the


Now he wants to take more out of our apartment, he took out alot of the

expensive things. He will leave me really with nothing. He doesn’t make

much. My lawyer said it wont be much if he dose help me financially

given his income is so low. She advised me to change the locks and get

two of my friends to write a letter about the things he has taken out. I

am afraid that will not arrange anything. But at least I will have the

few things in our apartment. I am afraid of losing even more!

Any suggestions or legal advise I need to beware of in france?

Are there any associations people can advice me about.

Send me some positive energies…

If you think you can help me, please contact me:

Hurt and lonely,


Yes, thanks again.

And do not forget a Private Investigator will be able to provide or advise the "Legal proof" you require.

Thanks Kanen. Actually photos don't prove anything. But they caould be good just to keep, in case things get out of hand. I went through this last year and I hope soo much it'll be over soon. kisses.

I am so sorry to hear about this, I too am going through a nasty divorce. You must get attestations!! Witness statements, photos, proof!! This is what I have learned so far. Emails, text, anything. If he comes by video it. I know that sounds crazy, but that is the way it is. Go to the police and file a complaint. It's all about proof here, and you must strike first. Change the locks, and if he comes by dial 17!! Contact me via email if you need any support, it is a very difficult situation to go through.... good luck, and hang in there.


Thanks Wendy, Happy holidays to you and your family. xx E

Happy to be of assistance in times of need ![](upload://2kMaYdvHRG5BuYh88dnWjkkC5xq.jpg)

Hi Elena,

I'm so glad I was able to help in a very small way and it's great to hear that even though it was a dark cloud that you were under, that it had a silver lining in that you produced great art and made friends. I'm sure we all wish you much happiness and success in the future. Wendy xx

Hello Friends,

I wanted to revisit my old post to give the whole lot, Thank You's!, to all those who helped me through this awful period. I have to say it was the hardest, darkest and grimmest period in my life. In time the turmoil faded and with the help of friends and my journals I wrote in in a frantic soul searching state.

Throughout last year I got so much help and positive vibes from posting. I got helpful phone calls from these 'little angels', of some I got to meet in person! I will be ever grateful to them and their thoughtfulness. I got the of strength to get out of that situation.

I made lots of friends and 'friends' from friends on here!

I am giving special Thanks to Catharine Higginson to her constant support and just being there.

Thank you Wendy Wise who gave me good informative advice.

Kirsten Monteil your a good friend and would love to meet you with my cousin or not, be it in Cali or Fr...

For the story Debbie Kibble shared, it meant alot to me.

Graham Dooley for the pi! You know who I'm talking about! A surprising provider of an unnamed source, lol!

For those people who called me just to give support and to talk about their divorce.

To DT, knowing you changed my life and I truly hope to see you again, even through dark and rocky times, you played the hard guy but really I know it was hard for you too. Thank you and I hope the smoke has settled or raised if that's your jig!

And last but not least Thank You's to Cathy Holmes for all the quick witted advice you made for me and Gary Davies for the "imaginary phone meals" which didn't really nourish me but gave me comfort, I wont forget it. Both called and gave me plenty of moral support. They actually went through a divorce and had special advice to give me. And if you need help out there I'm there.

I do have to mention the fantastic paintings that I created during this time and continue to do so.

Vibes are good and sending you positive ones back!



Thank you Dear friends,

I didn't see all your advices until today. During, he didn't make eye contact with me once the whole time! I did look good and waited in a another room then he. I seriously thought he'd be with his mommy and daddy, and I of course strong, brave to face it alone. But of course I knew I had all my friends and there backs with me. Thank you.

I took some force from my friends away from Toulouse.

Being the new year he said he wanted to start this year better on a new foot... He came to talk to me and give me the badge to my apartment (it took me an arm and a leg to get that originally). He's playing the false nice guy... And what do you know he sends me this shit letter to back stab me about a bed frame I sold! But he took all the musical instruments and a semi-professional camera. it's worth 10x more than the bed frame!!! My God! I wont except any lettre recommander by him any more!

Staying positive and moving forward!


That’s definitely the way to do it Cathy - hold your head up, be proud and don’t let the b…gers get you down !!
Show them what they are (and will always) MISS !

same here Elena - good luck - thinking of you xxx

No advice - just lots of support and good vibes xx

Hello My Friends! Those who have been helping me through this hard time I wanted to thank them!

My first divorce proceedings are Friday the 3rd of December in the morning. I have a few things I am worried about however I think that is normal. It is like the worst and hardest time in my life ever!

I had to change lawyers this week because mine is too busy and can’t make it. She should have told me before because my new and better lawyer has only a day to prepare for it. I told her if she needs extra time perhaps we could push back the court date but she said she is used to that. She is currently waiting for the juridic file from the old lawyer. I hope I don’t have to go in the court date without a lawyer! I gotta prepare what I’m gonna say to the judge. Only 1 day left. I am quite busy on that. But if you my friends have any last advice to share with me I’d be please to accept it.


Maria-Louise has spoken on Woman’s Hour about how she is finally getting back on her feet following her divorce. I’ve posted link in general discussion…thought you might be interested.

Dose anyone know who I could call about legal advice to ask some questions?

Would anyone know what an attestation du domicile could be for?

Are there any lawyers you may know?
Still have questions even though I have a good lawyer…

Hey Friends,

I am still alive, well, even after all the ups and downs. In the morning a few days ago while in bed, I had this really profound thought… I have been struggling so much about making up my mind, in the morning I say ‘I will stay’ and later at night I change my mind, ‘I will go back’. I said NOW I am surrendering to the situation in my life. Whatever life is for me that’s what’s meant to be. What can be the best thing for me? My family needs me and I need their support. I’ll sell my things and furniture and move on and out. Perhaps I’ll make a little money with the furniture and divers things. My Mom said she wants me just to leave and have him take care of everything because it’s him who created this. Not sure if that’s the best option.

Dose anyone know how I can go about selling my furniture, electronics and kitchen utilities? In the US there are garage sales but here no… What can you suggest?

Send me love and virtual hugs please.


For professional reasons I cannot reply in full to this in an open forum you will have to contact me directly.