Emily, I noticed a few times you mentioned living in Brittany and a certain attitude toward Brits. I have no opinion on this, but wanted to mention that I am reading a book about the history of Brittany, Normandy, France in general, and Britain: "1000 Years of Annoying the French" by Stephen Clarke. It's a humorous approach to the history of the British and French. I'm sure you are much more well-versed on the history of both countries than I am; but the book has helped me understand the historical relationships of these people. As much as we wish otherwise, history often has a great influence on how people interact and perceive one another.
I'm only reading it because I wanted to learn some more French history without having to pick up a dry text. I live in the South of France where I understand the people are very different from your area; again, history has played its role. I'm American, so again, I have no opinion on this relationship; but to address other comments on this site, I have found the French to be very friendly toward me. And just like in the States, I've met a few people I don't care for very much. This is interesting to me because in the States the general feeling seems to be that the French don't like Americans. I haven't found this to be true at all.
Like you I married a Frenchman, and I say this because I think everyone's situation places them in different circumstances--good or bad or both. Recently I made a comment to an American colleague about my husband not telling me it was a holiday in France (I know, I should have learned that myself), and my colleague said, "I understand holidays and husbands." I said jokingly that French husbands are not much different than American husbands. The point is that I believe people are the same no matter where you live. There are good and not so good. Here in France I search for the good ones to be my friends; just like I did in the States.
It appears to me from comments I've read on this site that the longer you live in France (and I would say this is true in any country), the easier gets for relationships and integration in general. Those who have lived here a long time seems to have an easier time with some of these issues. This leads me to the logical conclusion that there is a transition time in moving here. I admit it's been a difficult transition for me, and yet I am happy to be living in France. I believe that as time goes by, it will get easier.
Personally, I appreciate that you've been candid about your experiences here, as others have. It helps me feel not so alone in my personal situation. I've also found that the so-called "moaning" by some elicits comments from others that comes in the form of some very valuable information. My take is that "moaning" is really just a way to ask for advice. Thank you to all who have so willingly and openly offered such advice. It has been helpful to me to read comments here. Sometimes it's practical advice; at other times, as Emily has said, it simply helps me understand my life here in France.