Sorry, my interpretation of a long ago comedy song, but with a serious purpose.
An unexpected crisis today in the house. My wife wanted a fag but had nothing to light it with. She always has an array of various lighters which don’t always work, but usually at least one of the at least 7 will produce the goods.
Not today, while she was clicking away I sought out the 2 boxes of so-called ‘safety’ matches that we have had lying around for ages. They stopped working properly years ago as evidenced by the holes in the striking pads.
In the end I took one of the matches and lit it by touching the electric bar of the oven, just as she managed to get one of the lighters to light. 
So even if we are stocked up with candles in case of a power cut, we always are, they are not much use if we can’t light them. 
My question is, until I next go to the shop and find out for myself, do they still sell old fashioned ‘non-safety’ matches, or are these now banned in France?
Buy a packet of Cyalumes - they have a shelf life of decades and they don’t set the carpet/furniture on fire when you trip over something in the dark using a candle to find your way to your breaker/fuse box.
Plus modern LED camping lights (don’t store the battery in the lamp though) are much brighter than a candle and have just as long a run-time.
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Sorry, couldn’t resist another classic from the pride of Norfolk who was actually from Lancashire.
Thank you Peter, haven’t heard that one for a long while now, but was he really from Lancashire? Not impossible I suppose, because so am I but if I was to sing a song in dialect, it would be East Midlands. 
@billybutcher sounds like a good idea, but not much cop for herself’s fags. 
@NotALot what are those, some kind of matches? If not a naked flame though I refer you to the comment above. 
Just had a thought though I suppose she could have gone to the car lighter. Problem is at the speed she moves the urge would have disappeared before she got there and in any case would have to pass through a forbidden area on the way back, also not allowed to smoke in the car.
They seem to exist…
Or what about an old fashioned zippo petrol lighter?
Much healthier way of lighting fags though.
Nah, they’re bugger all use for igniting things. Chemical illumination sticks.
Get a Zippo for lighting cigarettes etc.
Allumettes sound interesting, I’ll keep my eye open for them. I don’t know wether the lighters she uses are Zippos. But at least with matches of some sort you know when they are about to run out.
