EX pat regrets from living in France

Or maybe we are successfully settled here (or anywhere) because we haven't got time for the moans and groans and prefer to get on with living - says she, wasting time again playing on SFN :-)

My glass is nearly always half full despite the fact that a lot gets spilled!

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agree entirely, Tracy, but perhaps it's because we're successfully settled here that we haven't got the time or inclination to moan about the negatives. Also, our stories are rather atypique compared to most so perhaps people wouldn't relate...? ;-)

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How about an article on how much things have improved since you moved to France and why it was the best decision you have ever taken. Now that really would be an interesting and novel piece to read - the 'my life is a disaster since I moved to France/Spain etc' story has been done to death. I much prefer to read success stories rather than doom and gloom that just makes you feel miserable. We've had our share of misfortune through events beyond our control but I don't regret anything, there are things that maybe, given the opportunity, I would do differently a second time but regrets, never. As I was once told (and tell others) it is better to regret the things you have done, than the things you haven't done.

Come on Ben, break the mould, ask for success and happiness stories - summer's here - well, it was earlier this week, it seems to be hiding again today:-)

One minor regret (we moved to France 19 years ago) we should have kept a small property in England to keep up with property prices. Luckily we have used the halt in UK house prices to buy a small flat there, so we have our foot in the market again. Things change and when grandchildren appeared my wife understandably wanted to see more of them.

It’s perfectly valid talking about the regrets. I’m sick to death of the Peter Mayle set who don’t have genuine struggles and moan if the Rose isn’t cold enough on a day in Provence. Moving to another country can be pretty shitty at times. Most of you are Brits. Try being a kiwi who is NOT married to a EU member. You’ll see how difficult things can be. I felt so moved by my own experiences and the fact it seemed nobody was speaking for the folks that are doing it hard that I wrote and published a book. Sure, we try to be positive and there are many positives in France but we really need to let those struggling know it’s normal. That shit really does happen and it’s caused by circumstances beyond their control or appalling French systems which perpetuate inequality. Some of us have no one to talk to in English from one year to the next so thank goodness for SFN where sometimes we are allowed to say Things are not OK.

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I came to the Vendee in 2002 as my husband had taken early retirement and I was ready to give up work aged 58. Regret cutting ties by selling our modern small house, regret buying a “country house” with wood heating although it was not a ruin and had no falling down barns etc. My husband died 5 years ago and I have continued to live here, improved my French and made the best of it, I have mixed with French people but find the social life very dull after the initial novelty. Also had to get out and meet other ex-pats as we did not go to bars and spent our spare time travelling in France which I miss greatly. I am now concerned by the possible outcome of Brexit but am not ready return to UK now or possibly not ever as I have been away too long and have doubts that I could live at the standard I had before. So my main regret is not buying a more modern house nearer to town although I am not remote here but I am sure I would have done better in finding new interests and social life in a more lively town. Driving on country road on winter nights is off-putting! Lots of things I like here though and so try to be glass half-full !!!

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Hi Ben, i prefer to use the word disappointments, but yes a couple of major regrets although I don’t regret coming to France it’s a beautiful country,

Regret I couldn’t have done it 30 years ago with a different partner, so also regret I now have to live in a rented house!

Regret I had a brain haemorrhage all out of the blue, with the complications that followed including a car accident in a different department! Both 3 years ago and The local gendarme want to talk to me again as of yesterday, about the fact I haven’t done the Code de la Route 2 day course (in French) because I can’t - don’t drive and don’t own a car! Took 3 assessment lessons but person from auto-Ă©cole thought my aĆ”areness was not sufficient, so I stopped driving!
However the Course was 1/3 of my “Penalty” given 2 years ago and even though I wrote to the court explaining, the local Gendarme say they still want to Question me for the procurer!

Regret discovering there is a different cultural attitude in this small village after I’d rented a “Rachmann” type house with a terrible landlady. When I lived down in the HĂ©rault, the accommodation the Weather, French people and Rose wine I knew there, were all much nicer - sounds a little like the UK, well in respect of weather anyway and both cultural attitudes. Mais c’est la vie, wherever or whatever country we live in, life has its ups and downs.
A few more I won’t bore you with except I regret that with my health and age, 70 next year, living on my own it makes sense for me to take the decision to return to the UK.

But no I don’t regret overall, coming to and Surviving thus far in France. But France is not for the faint-hearted, because when “The going gets tough” the “Tough must get going” to Survive life’s many French pitfalls as well as enjoy her joys.

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I totally agree with you. I have lived in France before when I was married and foolishly decided to return. I am not going to elaborate because my situation is so horrendous for numerous reasons. So to those who love it here and everything is going fairly smoothly - lucky you - long may it continue.

I regret buying instead of renting.

We regret buying the wrong property in the wrong department, but hey, we have just sold it within two weeks of putting it on the market for a substantial profit and our French adventure starts anew with our search for our next and hopefully final home! We completed the sale on Friday, so we feel very relieved!

Easier to find your dream home when you already live here! France is such a huge place to explore!!

If you don’t mind me asking, what was the wrong property and wrong department? Where do you think your dream property will be?

Hello Michael. We made a rather rushed and pressured decision when we purchased our house in the Charente in August 2014 (quick weekend visit to the area in April). We thought it was on a quiet country lane, which turned out to be a busy (for France) D road! Also we have not settled here and have found it to be too hot and dry in the summer months for us and our plants. (13 weeks without any proper rain and temperatures nudging the 40 degrees this summer).

In the UK we lived in wild and rugged place such as the Highlands and North Wales and so we hope to find an area more along those lines in France ( Creuse, Auvergne, Cantal).

However the Charente is massively popular with Brits, hence we sold our house to Brits in two weeks. It’s just not for us and we would like to be somewhere wilder and less populated. Hope that answers your question.

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You are basing your argument on a very short period. The summer of 2016 in your area was hotter and drier than the norm as it has been in your new search area. The Charente is massively popular with Brits for good reason.

My only regret, not taking my French lessons seriously when I was at school!

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I truly believe that a lot of “Brits” live in there “bubble” here in France. It is always better, cheaper, cleaner, healthier, etc !!
I have no problems with the French during the last 14 years I’ve lived here, and feel as integrated as is possible for an expat.
Therefore I am still amazed by the ignorance shown by many regarding the true cost of living, working, and Taxes !.
Good luck to all, as it is NOT easy to live and work here, (regardless of all the BS I read and hear from so called experts
that have never done a days work for a French employer) which I have, for over 12 years !.

regards

David

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Hello David Martin

Many people move to France from the UK and then move again within France. We made a mistake choosing the part of the Charente we are in (near Verteuil) as it is not the type of countryside we enjoy, it is flat and arable for the main part. (it’s greener and hillier in the Haute Charente) and it is hotter and drier here than over in the Massif Central. We have had two summers here and we don’t like the intense heat in July and August especially. Yes it is massively popular with many British people, but we are not particularly stuck by it and it is not a place where we want to spend the rest of our days. We also find it pretty busy and populated compared to say mid Wales or the Scottish Highlands. Most British probably favour the Charente for it’s copious sunshine, mild climate in winter and cheap property. However we want to live in a place where it rains more reliably throughout the year (for our plants) and the weather is generally cooler. We have friends in the Creuse and it definitely rains more there (even this summer) and the nights are cooler even in high summer, due to the altitude. We are not basing our decision to move just on climate/weather. We want to be somewhere more rugged and the Limousin and Auvergne appeal very much to us.

Anyway, we bought our renovation project here cheaply, renovated it on a tight budget and sold it for a considerable profit. We look forward to moving to an area that better suits us. However it is horses for courses and we can appreciate why Brits are flocking to the Charente in their droves!

It’s just not for us! We always feel better when we head east and into the green hills of Limousin and Auvergne.

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My only regret is not doing it sooner

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For Paul Lewis who has written in this thread. If you choose to move to
‘Auvergne’ for example, are you sure you are not going to end up in the
‘Auvergne’ equilvalent of Charante but with less hot weather but
probably the same drivers ?

As someone who has lived and worked over the years (18 years since I first came to the Auvergne from the Lyon suburbs) as an employee, employer and now as an independent worker running my own business in the Auvergne, I can honestly say that I have no regrets - it really is a matter of personal choice, and “horses for courses”, as they say. For someone like Paul, the Auvergne is one of several regions in France where you can choose to be a hermit, live and work in a medium sized city or nearby suburbia, or even somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. It is by no means the only one, one could look at the area around Millau in the Aveyron for example, or the Lozere, all beautiful in their own way, or the Aubrac, and all with enough remoteness to satisfy even the most hermit-like of fellows.

I am not your “classical TV-expat” in the sense that I left the UK more than 25 years ago to work and enjoy getting to know other cultures, a move I have never regretted - one that has become more poignant with the Brexit vote as my main reason for leaving in 1989 was my perception of the UK as a rather narrow-minded, and slightly bigoted tiny island. It seems that that perception was a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts !
Personal circumstances brought me to France, and whilst I could have since moved away, I decided I liked it too much here in the Auvergne ! Does that mean I’ll stay here for ever ? Who knows ? Life is sometimes full of surprises. I like to keep an open mind about it, but I’m definitely not a “towny”.

As to the Auvergne being like the Charente, I would beg to differ, different topology, different geography, different people, and far fewer Brits and tourists in general - one of the main reasons no doubt being that any half-decent airport with affordable travel options is at least 2 and a half hours drive away, the other being the climate which even for locals is considered to involve a long winter period (if their moaning is anything to go by). My wife is from the Central Belt in Scotland - it doesn’t rain here in comparison ! Having lived in a South Wales valley for several years, I can also attest to that. I told her before she moved out here that winters could be harsh, well, that was true the first year, but since then they have been nothing but mild :slight_smile: Summer this year was relatively dry, even though it wasn’t particularly hot in comparison to other years - only yesterday did we see Ă  locust in the garden that is only supposed to be endemic in the CĂ©vennes ! I have also seen bee-eaters and rollers, which was a first for me, as I had always believed them to be Mediterranean birds, although a little research showed that their presence was recorded in the region during the 18th century.

Having said that, it was 4°C this morning when I left for work ! Winter is coming, as the infamous quote goes


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Ours is very similar. We bought in one department and my husband built up a good business, not needing to advertise, but really we would like to be in the department just north of us, so that I do not have to drive more than an hour to do the things I love, like dancing with my friends. But it would be too far for him to connect to his client base so we are stuck here. Its not a great problem, but it would have been nice to be a bit closer to the things we love doing.