I don't know if this a rumour... but I have heard talk of a new SFN group Fast Action Response Team... staffing a 24/7 advice hotline.

uh huh, a team of dedicated know-it-alls ready to advise on any topic at any time. Steeped in secrecy, as you would imagine. Couldn't join myself...as I just make things up.

But there are those in our midst who DO fit the bill...

Who would you elect?

F.A.R.T I feel a graphic coming on

Many thanks to all for this immediate responset for FART CORKS, please note however these DO need to be the organic variety as the plastic ones can cause severe damage, and scarring.

Many thanks



Field Maneuvers for our crack team start in ernest in October. Quartermaster *** ***** says Col ***** ***** ( shh you know who ) requests cork donations from SFN supporters. Does anyone know where we might get our hands on any?

Also required: Balaclavas, Camouflage Clothing ( XXL) Night Vision gear, Dog Bags.... in fact any para military, ex-amy stock, and equipment. AMC-35s, DUKs, M10 70s. For military Vehicles please send in Pics, service history docs etc.

Thanking you all in anticipation.

F.A.R.T. Motto #67 Letting it out

Oh yeah,

Forgot the original purpose of this .

Who, on SFN would YOU elect ( cryptically ) to stand for election to the 24/7 advice team?

LIke to see thing thang trump all the other posts.... let me pass winding up to get to the top...

C'mon let's let rip.

( only in the interests of fair competition, you understand...just like to get farther that some.....there's no substance in the post really, just a lot 'o hot air )

OM golly gosh I've guffed... just realised Fast Action Response Team's acronym spells a rude word!

Just watching to see FART following in the wake of Nick's CAPITAL CURRY

interesting to see if a Post entitled FART can come from the Bottom...to reach the heady heights of the chart. Who knows?

pass me my smock...

"I'm going in"

James, emergency!! Knock up a strong, very thick box from old palettes, Ron's gonna create. I think he needs to be contained very soon.

OMG... you mean it's a bit SHHHHHHHHHH?

OMG I'm multi-taskin' TWO threads on the go...Watch out's going great guns...and me FART's bubbling up!

Not sure, it worries me saying anything about them.

ooo Brian...why are you wearing a Balaclava? and why's your face all smudgey? been out?

phew... I was in the middle of crafting an insignia for F.A.R.T.....But if your request is more urgent ( ie an order! ) give me the details.

Does this new group have a Name? It's not the W.I.M.P.S. ?

Worried Individuals Make Politcal Softies? I've heard of them ( whimperingly )

Jus'doin' my job sweet cheeks

There is a new SFN group planned for people of a nervous disposition to join if they have anxieties about groups. If you join that group then there is no need to do anything whatsoever because the FARTers will do it all for you, so that you never need to get nervous about not doing anything in a group, although that is the object of that group in which nothing is done. How about a badge or logo for the nervous people who do nothing, therefore usually do not really like to look at symbols which they find scarey, but fortunately have the FART squad to do it for them.

Got that Ron?

do you have too?

Thanks Julie,

a little levity in a sea of Fosse-septiques and Cat fur balls can't be all bad!


( apologies to authors of above mentioned threads )

C'mon you Cryptic Corner Clever Clogs,

we urgently need your suggestions, for nominees 'coded' as I said. There must be some cross-worders out there?

I'm cr*p at crosswords!

EG "What ends in 'IT' and is found in the bottom of a Parrot's cage?"

I thought about it and put 'SH*T' .... quite chuffed with that, I moved on to a really big word... whereupon my wife passed and said "it's GRIT, you tw*t"

pass me a rubber

didn't mean it my love....

I meant washing up