Whilst my wife was doing the washing up I commented on the size of her bum.
Now I believe in flying saucers.
Just a joke, she hasn’t got a big bum.
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I’d have thought stars was more appropriate, knowing Irene as we do… 
Correct.
she hasn’t got a fat arse either.
No, but you might have a thick ear!
I’ll be ok once the bruising fades!