As I will be dead at the time, I have no rules. If those that are left and alive wish to cremate me, bury me, or stuff me and allow me to adorn his/her mantlepiece, I really will not care. Ergo, my will leaves it up to them. My insurance should cover their wishes.
That is a sad story, but it does not change things, as far as I am concerned. I believe that a cardboard coffin is the very best idea. I want every single centime that I leave behind to benefit those who remain alive. Furthermore and if they choose to bury me, the sooner that nature gets at me and I can add manure to the soil, the better.
My Mum had a file on her computer desktop labelled ‘Funeral’. She had often spoken over her last couple of years about the subject and what she wanted. After a while, I would make a joke along the lines of not telling anyone so that we could continue to draw her pension!
My brother and I had been executors to my Mum’s will. As we had both moved abroad, my Mum asked my opinion upon her changing her executors to our sisters. I told my Mum that she could do whatever she wish, but I believed that emotionally my sisters would not be up to that responsibility. In that, i was unfortunately correct.
It can good idea, but only if the family will go along with it. My sisters never opened the file relating to the funeral. I found this out when they had made arrangements that conflicted with Mums wishes. Mum got her wish, but on the day of the funeral.
It is a subject that many people will want to avoid, but I think a good one to talk about.
My anticipated funeral plans were scuppered when the Mayor announced that households could no longer burn stuff in the garden.
Plan B was to live in a hole in the garden when I felt the moment of my departure was imminent, & have someone come by each day to check…once I’d “left the building” they were to kick some earth over me.
This is very close to home for me at the moment as my disabled cousin ( the closest person I had to a brother) died at the beginning of the month. A few months ago he rang his sister out of the blue and announced he wanted to discuss his funeral plans. He also had his carers make a file with the information in it. This has made life a lot easier over a difficult couple of weeks, although there was a question as to if we would be allowed to walk out to ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ ( we were)
My children know that if either Amazing Grace or All Things Bright and Beautiful are played at my funeral i will haunt them forever! Otherwise they can do as they see fit.
My younger brother died last September… he had left his wishes, written down… and, being the UK, we had a month to put them into action.
We finished the ceremony by playing Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life, to which most of us hummed gently and some sang gustily… his choice made everyone smile…
Sorry for your loss Nellie.
A sad time indeed, thank goodness he made his wishes known beforehand !
This will be fine for me. I have been preparing my family for sometime so they will not hesitate. They are also coming to terms with letting any usable parts going to help others.
Condolences from me too.
I don’t make a point of remembering funerals or mark them in any way… once they are over and done with… but today, my daughter reminded me of a dear friend who died 3 years ago… the family were sad not to have a photo of the cardboard coffin…
Yep, me and my camera, were clicking away… as usual. Really chuffed to be able to zap this photo over to them…
A quick glance let me think ,what a grand affair, then my brain and eyes synced
It was a lovely, family affair in the Norfolk countryside. The church is just down the lane, from the house, so only the hearse and 1 car for the really unsteady… the rest of us strolled in the February sunshine. (He was an “old soldier” so we should have “marched” )
My mum stipulated two things for her funeral…
- Beyond the sea - Bobby Darin
The preferred song of my parents in their younger days when they would go dancing on a Sunday.
- “No miserable bastards” to quote mum on mourners / dress code etc.
Everyone wore every day clothes, no black, except for mum’s cousin & her husband, that felt they couldn’t break with convention.
The ladies that cared for mum in her final months all attended; & came back to the house afterwards, where we tried to keep the atmosphere light…everyone raised a glass to mum, whilst chatting & laughing about some of the things she came out with.
It was a good day & I think she’d liked to have been there in more than just spirit.
I always suggest folk “have a good funeral, enjoy yourselves” since they will probably renew old friendships … and I explain… " it is OK to smile and laugh…"… “think and talk of the happier days and funny events that every family has in its cupboard” …