Help needed urgently

Forgive me if I'm posting this in the wrong section but I need to ask for help and urgently, what I am about to ask with help for is, I appreciate not a nice topic, but I am facing the difficult decision within the next few days to have my cat put to sleep. He has been with me for almost 10 years now (he adopted me, as cats do). In our years together we have weathered many storms and always come out the other side, except now. He has FIV (we discovered he had this when we first took him to the vets as a stray all those years ago) and despite everything the vet has done over the years, my beautiful ginger boy has succumbed to this awful condition and when we left the vets this evening we agreed I would take him home for perhaps just a couple more days. When the time comes, the vet has agreed to come to the house and then I will bury my beloved boy in his favourite spot in the garden. I know this is a strange request but my partner is away in the UK working and there isn't anyone I can ask to dig the hole for me. I have the tools needed and I assure everyone that this is a genuine request for some help. I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I'm struggling to hold it together.

I am in the Creuse (Cheniers 23220), I would be very grateful for any help

Hi Mandy, great to read that your Daughter is offering the little one a home. I like a happy ending to a story. I know what you mean though, it is impossible to turn away any animal in need of help if it wanders into our lives. Have a safe trip in October with your precious companion..

Unfortunately we have been unable to find kittens home, or a new home, he is adorable and I would love to have him stay with us, but my cat Mika is not at all happy and we travel back to the UK every 3 months and it is expensive already to put Mika in the Cattery. We have decided to take kitten to my daughter in the UK who has offered him a home. I’m travelling by ferry in October so I can take him with me. he’s booked in for jabs from next week. I have to admit I know full well that I would do the same again though, I can’t say no and I can’t turn away an animal in need of help! I am in a difficult position and my neighbours know how much I love animals!!

Hi Mandy, thank you for your kind words. I really have been so overwhelmed by the kindness and support offered by everyone on this site. Its all so raw still, I'm still a blubbering wreck but I've found its really helping, having him so close to me in the garden. I can just sit with him and ramble on!! Today was hard as I went out for the first time and the thought of coming home knowing he wasn't going to be waiting at the top of the steps for me was awful. I totally agree with you regarding the neutering of cats, its very frustrating seeing far too many healthy kittens and cats put to sleep, it is heartbreaking. I hope you manage to reunite the little kitten with his family, thank you for caring x

Hi Dawn, I’m so sorry I’ve only just seen this message and I’ve had a quick scan through all the replies, I’m so glad someone was able to help and so many others were able to offer words of support and comfort. I was welling up reading this thread. I love ALL animals, but I particularly have a soft spot for cats, I moved here with my cat Mika who I absolutely adore, and I’m currently caring for a little kitten who was found 2 days ago by my neighbour, hopefully so I can reunite him with his family. There are so many cats not only in France but everywhere desperately needing homes and love, it breaks my heart to see this and I feel so frustrated as its doesn’t have to be this way if only people would neuter! I used to foster for cats protection in the UK and as much as I loved looking after cats and kittens it killed me to see this ever growing problem and healthy cats put down. Anyway, I’m sorry but I’m rambling, what I wanted to say is I’m so pleased your boy knew love and kindness with you, they all deserve that. When they leave us they leave paw prints on our hearts x

Heather and Barbara, thank you. I believe Tush is still here with me in spirit, most definitely. In the couple of hours since I got up this morning, we've had several 'conversations' already! You are both right, love never dies x x

Heather I totally agree with love never dies.

I feel sorry for people who have not found and shared their love with


For us we only take a holiday when we can find someone to come from uk

to take care of the cats.

But it is fine to admit that you are loving towards your animal friends and

fine to share your thoughts and sorrow. Wonderful to know that you are not


Been through this Dawn...many many times in my 74 years...all I can say is that Love cannot die...your precious boy will still be're doing the right thing in releasing him now...May your God be with you...:-)

What a lovely story, Dawn, and a peaceful ending for Tush, knowing he was much loved. I hope you can now find peace and soon start to enjoy the good memories that he has given you. Know also that he's been very blessed to have you in his life, too. Big hugs xx

I love, love, love the name plate, Dawn. It sounds like such a special, peaceful place for him. Absolutely perfect. From what you say of last night, Tush was ready and had started to struggle. That gives the definitive answer if you had any doubts at all as to what was best for him. No question. And as for the rest? Us lot ain't going nowhere so if you want to talk about him, miss falling over him in the kitchen (or is that just my three?) or simply want to say hi, we're here. xx

Ladies, thank you so very much for your kind words and sharing your own stories about your furry family members. Its so nice to hear of all the good, animal loving people out there. Sandy, I have very much felt the genuine love and concern on this site, I'm moved by it all.

Tush Tush crossed the rainbow bridge this morning, the vet arrived quite early. My little man had a terrible night and I swear if I'd had the necessary medication at 4am this morning I would have released Tush there and then. I'm so glad I decided to spend the night lying next to him, after I saw just how poorly he was. The vet was so good, calm, respectful and didn't rush anything. My little man is now safely tucked up in my fleecy dressing gown for the night, I have taken my time and placed what I thought were appropriate pots and a couple of small garden statues on top of his little grave. He is nestling between a white rose bush and a lemon one, also cosmos, some small sunflowers and verbena, so plenty of colour. Also, I have a little carved wooden name plate that my Dad made for me some time ago, bearing Tush's name on it. This is now hanging in one of the trees over his little grave. I've been out sat in my chair next to his spot, chatting away to him and I shall do so again before I go to bed. Its been a tough day, but all the support and good wishes and virtual hugs have certainly helped me and given me a bit more strength. What started out as a desperate plea for help less than 48 hours ago on this site has resulted in me having more support than I could ever have imagined and as before I really need to say a big thank you to everyone involved. x

Ditto to all of that.

And such wonderful animals.

We need to give them loving homes and become their friends.

We have 5 and a new chap called Nutmeg who needs to accepted by the family....

plus we feed to wild cats whom we have neutered.

We spend a small fortune on buying their fav foods and one cat loves the

little brown shrimps and another guineau fowl [free range] so .....there

we are.....can not afford the best garden equipment.

Dawn,I second all that Sandy has written.I've been through this with 3 cats and my little dog,still brings tears to my eyes.Such lovely people here with kind thoughts.xx

Oh Dawn, I'm thinking of you today - as I'm sure many SFN readers are - and hope that you can feel loved and supported by us while you let your beautiful ginger boy go peacefully. It is so very hard, but it is the bravest and most loving act that you can do. Be strong, keep the good memories. Love never ever dies and he's been blessed to have you in his life. Hugs xx

I'm saving up the hugging vibes (sorry, child of mine, nothing for you today - mummy's on a mission). By the time tomorrow comes it will be huge so be warned. Remember to give him a little bit of tuna if he feels up to it. xx

Valerie, you must have read my mind. I have brought the duvet down into the dining room where he is sleeping and there I will sleep with him and be by his side for what could be our last night together. It just wouldn't feel right going to bed ( I wouldn't sleep anyway) but my place is by his side. So I've been talking to him saying we are having a camping party and we will have the radio on low in the background and there we will be talking, reminiscing, remembering. My vet hasn't called back so I'll have to wait until the morning to find out if he is coming. I want to insist that it takes place in the morning , if not tomorrow then it has to be the day after. I want to have a full day to take my time and do it my own way with the whole day ahead. I know what you mean about them shedding a tear in their final moments. I will need that virtual hug tomorrow, thank you my friend x

Oh dear lord, I can't see properly because I have tears welling up. I know how sad these last hours are and my heart's going out to you. I slept all night on the floor with one of mine many years ago because his body was shutting down. He was blind but, and I swear I'm not lying, early the next morning I was holding him and a tear dropped down from his eye. Ho hum, that's it, I'm losing it now. I can't be there because I'm over 2 hours each way and I have to work but I'm a strong old beeatch and I will be giving you a virtual hug tomorrow. You will have him in the garden he loved and he will be there with you. We have to do this sometimes and it's out of love. When you have him settled tomorrow and made his 'place' special with plants or however you choose to mark it, sit down with a glass of wine and celebrate him and the good life that you allowed him to have. Oh heavens, that's it, I'm such a woose when it comes to animals.

So sorry, Dawn...tears in my eyes for your moggie...same situation last week for my Minou Rouge...medication kept her going, but she grew weaker and she was very old too...

But I have only very rocky digging holes was out of the question..

.Long ago decided that a lovingly prepared cremation was my best way to manage pet that I can sprinkle their ashes in any best loved spot...together with those ashes of departed pals. With Scented wood.and and some flowers, too, with her bowl and blanket.

I had a large metal container, and used that for three other pets in past years..this time I had a log stove in the garden.Its important to make sure of a high temperature, so fine ash is almost all thats left...with plenty of easily combustible fuel...dry twigs and fire starter extra fire briquettes...and to make sure the fire is contained and easy to extinguish if necessary. I collected her ashes...and sprinkled them in the sun with her friends...Digging holes, makes me too sad anyway...since the chances of an animal being dug up by rats or quite high. I found cremation a very peaceful and stress free way to manage Minou's Burial.

Valerie, I just wanted to let you know that Sophie came this afternoon and brought her Dad, who just got on with digging the hole for me, God love him. They were absolutely lovely and I appreciated all that Sophie did in chatting to me about various things, to take my mind off what was going on so I wasn't getting too distressed while her Dad took care of the digging. I really appreciated this and I thought it showed great sensitivity on her part.

I have put in the call to the vet and asked if he could come tomorrow morning some time, I'm waiting for them to call me back to confirm a time. My little man is sat here with me, we have spent some time together this morning in the garden and I'll treasure those moments forever as I felt the significance of them. Tonight is going to be hard I know, but I will reflect on what has happened here in this SFN community and all the good that people show in times of need and despair. My parents who are in the UK wanted me to pass on their thanks also.x x