Hi
I’ve been married to a frenchman for almost 5 years but I cannot stay with him as he has been psychologically abusing me, stalking me, waking me at 3am to accuse me of infidelity and the list goes on. I’m now on anti-depressants as I was in such a dark place after the relentless abuse, I thought about suicide.
I need to leave ASAP. I spoke to a lawyer who told me to move out urgently and far away from our home.
My question is: is there help for my situation for paying the bond on a rental and moving costs available for abused women in France?
I heard about SOS Femme but I have my two beloved dogs and that agency wont help me with my dogs. I found a studio way down in the south and want to take that as I can have my dogs with me, but I am on very limited income and I’m sure my husband will cut off all financial support as soon as I leave. He took the keys to the car I use and the house keys. I argued to get the house keys back and he videoed me taking them from the coffee table. I have had to hire a few cars over the last month as where we live has no public transport to speak of.
The lawyer said I have the right to stay in france, but I will be making an effort to return to my home in the near future as my family are worried sick about me. Especially since he made death threats about tracking me down and killing me.
How do go about renewing my catre de sejour as a separated etranger?
I NEED HELP - URGENTLY - PLEASE
Hello Betty
Is the house in both your names? Is your bank account in joint names ? If so I believe that your husband cannot stop you using it. It seems strange that a lawyer advised you to leave asap without giving you any ideas of the route you can take re your financial situation and maybe on starting a divorce.
I hope that someone on SF can advise you, in the meantime here are a couple of links it may be worth taking a look at for some moral support at least.
If you are planning to return to the UK anyway, can someone in your family not just come right now and get you and your dogs and drive you back to the UK? (or as soon as the dogs have had their worm treatments of course).
How much financial investment do you have in the relationship and has the lawyer advised you how to secure your share? As if that’s possible to do once you leave the family home then does it matter where you are? Presumably it is as easy to organise the divorce from the UK as it is from 100s of kilometers away in France? Your safety and mental wellbeing must come first.
Betty, as Jane Jones has said, your priority is your safety.
Have you no one to help you with a place of safety?
Following several high profile cases the UK police are now taking seriously threats from estranged husbands.
I do hope you can find help.
I can’t offer any practical advice but the link to the Facebook group, LIFT, is invaluable. Ladies In France Together … there’s been a couple of postings over the last few months with women leaving violent or abusive partners and they’ve had so much advice, and offers of help, … almost like a ‘sisterhood’ protecting one of their own. I urge you to do a post on there and see if one of the thousands of LIFT women can give you practical and immediate advice. Meanwhile, my best wishes to you … your safety must come first. Act now.
I really wish there was some advice I could give you
Hello Betty,
I wish I could help you but I assume if you have been to SOS Femmes and your lawyer you have already spoken to your local Assistante Sociale who may or may not have been able to help with your case.
This won’t help with your immediate situation but I saw on the news that Muriel Robin(who I think recently played the part of an abused wife in a film), led a protest rally yesterday in Paris against conjugal violence so maybe things will improve
I also hope you can find help,very soon
Hi no it’s his house. His ex wife committed suicide last year before the divorce settlement under what many considered suspicious circumstances but nothing was investigated as she’d suffered psychological issues for many years whilst married to him. Now he is fighting with his daughters with the inheritance.
I just emailed sos femmes and another agency for help.
I have a friend in the village who will come with me when I go to get help.
I’m australian not English.
I’m a long way from my family and have only 2 friends in france.
Today he abused and insulted me for half an hour when I woke up. I can’t sleep at night but I sleep when I can when I think he is out of the house or asleep too. He threatened my family and friends today too. He’s getting more and frightening by the day.
Betty, what was the turning point during the five years. When did it start to get bad and on what basis can he accuse you of infidelity?
Have found this also on the Internet…
It seems sensible to get photocopies of documents, including marriage certificate, passport, bank details etc;…
This is an official government website, it does list that verbal violence and menaces are punished by the law …
Hello Betty Bluebird and Welcome to the Forum.
Please can you update your Registration to show your full name… as per our Terms and Conditions.
If you are unsure how to do that… simply put your Full Name… here… on this thread … and I will update your Registration for you…
(You have been given a great deal of advice by fellow forum members, which I hope will help you and encourage you.)
Cheers