How important is a posh wedding?

Is it really vital to have a grand reception wedding

outfit costing several thousand pounds, wedding planner

and enough alcohol to inspire even the 96 year old great gand pa to dance in a Gene Kelly moment.

Or rock with the standard songs from a repetoire of ages past and often repeated at your daughters wedding, your wedding and that of your parents.

Do you save all your life for this great occassion

What is the cost for the great day?

30.000 euros ?

Do people borrow money to create a wedding? In France ...In UK

Great to hear about your special exsperiences.

Part of my buisness is about wedding guests....

Although I am not the venue.

It seems so very important to impress all the guests with the spledour of the occassion rather than the celebration of a couple joining their lives together.

I have been told about a young couple who borowed the money to have a very jazzy chic wedding forfeiting their financial future. Just for a day to impress.

Not quite what I said Barbara. We certainly celebrated our wedding but in what we believed to be a seemly and modest way. I proposed no theory but simply made an observation on contemporary mores.

We had a “cheap” wedding but one with our best friends and close family, 30 years later we are still married, so guess it is what comes afterwards that is more important than spending alot of money on one day

ha ha, I can back that one - married at sunset on a luxury yacht just of Jamaica, the whole thing was very cheap compared to the traditional doos but cost me an arm and a leg at the time (yes I paid!) but that ended in a divorce. Now living in sin with my French OH and our two young kids and we have no plans of getting married or pacsé. If we ever do it'll be a very quiet affaire at the mairie with close family.

Thats good....SO no celebration Equals a great lasting relationship.


Can anyone back up David's theory?

Who has had a wonderful wedding reception but a wilted marraige which has faded?

I find the amount of money expended on many weddings these days quite offensive. When my wife and me were married in the late sixties we had a simple register office ceremony and we catered the reception ourselves. It often seems to me that the more lavish the wedding the less successful the marriage. Perhaps we ought to move to a 21st century version of the sumptuary laws common in the Middle Ages.

Before moving to france I was a wedding planner in a 4 star hotel. After many years of experience all I can say is spending more money does not make for a better wedding.

I have poured champagne for guests at more lavish affairs and had people say to me whats this rubbish we are drinking and on the other had poured cheap fizz for toasts and people comment on how nice it is.

People are too caught up nowadays with how much the dress cost, prestige of a wag's venue and what they are giving guests as wedding favours.

I still follow the wedding market as we have now have 2 businesess that depend on keeping up with wedding trends. We started off with a balloon decorating company that branched out into doing celebration cakes as well and we have just started our chocolate fountain hire company in the last week and are already getting enquiries.

I know that both our businesses depend on people spending that bit extra on thier wedding so I am very greatful that they. My partner and I plan to wed here in France next year and what will make our day special will be having our family and friends here to celebrate with us.

We intend to do lots of DIY stuff and focus our budget on food and drink. We only intend to spend 2,500 euros all in. The biggest expense will be 500 euros of paperwork that is required. With a little bit of imagination and help from friends I think we will have a great day. Afterall it's about commitment and being in love and wanting to spend the rest of your lives together not how much we have spent.

1989 cost me a bit back then (still quite modest at around 3k) but flew out to jamaica and got married on a luxury yacht at sunset, her in white sedding dress and me in full naval officer uniform (no not borrowed it was mine!) got some good photos but we got divorced back in the early 2000s. If I get round to doing it again it'll be in the local mairie, no frills, but we're more likely just to get pacs'd one day to make things easier for inheritance, the kids, business, tax etc.

No question of a church wedding at all, either catholic or protestant!!!

much better ways of spending that sort of money for a newly married couple than a huge affair with virtually unknown auties snaffling all the champers!

Had a great time at my sons wedding last year, quick mairie celebration,groom in check lumberjack shirt (it was a new one) bride in black & both in dreads & tatoos (you should have seen the face of the adjoint of the maire who did the "service"), then everyone off to a field next to a river, tents, campfire, bbq, generator for lights & musique, sponaneous thunderstorm (mariage pluvieux mariage heureux) & people still swigging vodka at 10 am the next morning (not us wrinklies of course, we'd left them to it at midnight & had a good nights kip in a hotel)

Funniest thing was trying to find ice to keep the beer cold, here you can get in petrol stations in 2kg bags but in the wilds of the centre est they thought we were crazy to expect to buy it!

For the fist time we have had 4 cancellaions FOR THE SAME WEEKEND ....a bunch of media lads

who work on all of the current top productions..ENDEMOL AND TALENT BASED.
So all deposits have to go back.

Actually I will probably be better of empty than put up with thier agrevation.I had to present 4

CREDIT CARDS for one of them before I got the funds.

Hope that the wedding venue funds go ok for the chateau owner.

You sure are! Funnily enough, one of the reasons we started SFN was because I got an email saying "I am reading your blog out to my husband and I've told him that if he still doesn't get how I feel, I'm leaving"

We did plan an agony column but no one ever volunteered to write it.......

I think you have got the tone just right!

Im with you Barbara, ran a small B&B pub in kent close to several prestigious wedding venues, many weekends we were full with guests. The young were the worst, to the point where a very well todo group left their rooms dressed to the nines and returned several hours later very much the worse for wear. After a few arguments between themselves(best friends supposedly) a full blown punch up ensued and we had to kick them out. I also prefer respect

Just for the book...J and I are not married but have been together for a very long

time and have a PACS

WE are in the buisness of providing rooms etc for clients who are attending weddings.

Sometimes young wedding guests get a little wild...

Having seen the variety of guests I think that I prefer the aunties, priests and grandparents

to the younger bunch. I like a little respect.

Done it twice and both times on a 6-7 week turnaround and all in for the 2 less than a couple of K which works out at not bad value for 12 years of crap and 6 years of good times :) First one 4 months honeymoon in France on push bikes, second one 3 days in Cornwall before high tailing it down to the South of France to rescue me dads car.

@ Alexander and Terry - aaaahhh!

I hope that the champagne was delish too.

60.000 EUROS FOR a is vaguely possible to buy a house in France...somewhere for


No. We had a registry office wedding with only close family as guests because a student grant didn't pay for much else back then, even if we'd wanted it. But we're still together nearly 50 years on. We had our "honeymoon" -- a long trip from Tokyo to Kashmir and back home to Kenya -- to mark our silver wedding!