Message (www.message.org) is a huge group for anglophone mums that gets people together and organises coffee mornings and child meetings etc. they're really active in Paris and not sure if there's anyone your way. I also try to go to church (our nearest C of E one is a bit of a trek but it's full of young English families and they do English reading and writing in sunday school too). I am going to try to go more often as my daughter (who has french daddy and french school) is really starting to fall behind in english so i think it will really do her good to be surrounded by english children and taught in english for a couple of hourse every weekend. The cup of tea and chat at the end ois lovely for me even if we don't go often enough to make friends. My husband is convinced it is actually a sect because everyone is so friendly!! Not sure if any of that helps.... It's not you though for sure and it really takes a long time for French women to become friends as opposed to acquantainces - I feel very lucky after 8 years to have 2 very close french friends who actually confide in me and admit to the same ridiculous stresses that my English friends always share with each other!
Are you creative at all ?? I became a demonstator for a craft company to get me out and about a bit more. Just recently I started a Mummy and me group to get people crafting with their kids. Something like this would allow you to get a hobby, meet people and still be with your kids.
Send me an email at alisonplumm@gmail.com if you would like any more info.
I would also get talking to the other mums outside the school gates, you all have kids the same age in common.
Hi there - In our area we have 2 groups called Get Together and Ladies in France Together.
You could start up a Facebook page like the Ladies in France Group, and you may be surprised with how many people are around you.
The Group had just a few members to start, but has grown from strength to strength and has allowed us all to make many new friends.
Also, have a look on Anglo Info to see if there are any Associations you can join - Again, on our site (Poitou Charentes) there are a good number of groups on there too.
I can give you the web sites if you can't find them
Lynda, A meetup is great idea. I would definitely be game. I'm in the South, in La Camargue; but I'll take a train somewhere. Or I'll offer my home as a rendezvous location, or organize a location.
I've been hesitant to even tell my US friends how I'm feeling, because I am afraid they will think I'm selfish and ungrateful. I am grateful for my life here in France, and no, I don't want to move back to the States; but you are correct, Lynda, I think it's normal to miss parts of our culture and previous lives even while enjoying this one.
And Karen, you mentioned "mother tongue chats." I guess there's just something more intimate about speaking with friends in your native language. I'm hoping that will change or become easier as I become more comfortable with French; but I have a feeling I will always miss that at times.
Thanks to all of you for sharing. It makes me feel more "normal."
So, let us know here if you are interested in meeting up.
I read both of your posts this morning, just wanted to say that you can only lead the lives you've got. It doesn't make you sound selfish if you express how you are feeling - I think most people have said 'I wish' at least once in their lives! Living in another country and with another culture is difficult, but like you've both said, it's not like that all the time. Yes, we may live in a nice part of the world and gain many things from experiencing another culture and language, but I think it is ok to miss people and parts of our previous lives. And if that makes me selfish and ungrateful, then OK, I can handle that! :-) I don't know what areas of France you are both in, but how about organising a SFN meetup? I know the Midi Pyrenees group had one recently and from the posts, it sounds like it went down well.
Just read your reply to Leeanne and so agree with you. I have just returned from a quick five day trip to see family and friends in UK and wish in some ways I didn't as it has made me miss 'girlfriends' and mother tongue chats over coffee even more! Don't think I want to be back in UK - cant take my boys out of the French system now anyway - but miss something! Do I sound selfish as I live in a beautiful country, great food, but.....?
I'm glad I found this post. I've been in France almost 8 months (I can't believe it's already been that long!), and I guess the newness has worn off and I'm settling into the daily grind. I was feeling very foolish for starting to feel isolated. Here I am in this fabulous country, new husband, great job (working from home), but I've been feeling desperately lonely of late--craving friends. I "know" lots of people because my husband is French and we live in his home town, near family. But as someone else said, there doesn't seem to be a culture of "girlfriends." My husband is also working long hours right now and I'm alone a good bit. I'm sure that is contributing to the sensation. Well, it's just good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'm glad I found SFN.
I too have worked with Tots To Travel as a Family Holiday Lettings Expert and for the last 4 1/2 yrs and run my own buisness from home, I now help recruit for them. It is just great to be part of a lovely team of Mums all working with wonderful Holiday home owners who want to provide really fab family holidays. You can work the majority of the role from home and fit it all in around the kids and holidays. I know they are always looking for new Mums to join the team and they have a bit about it on their website team page or www.holidaypropertyexperts.com
It’s definitely not you, it’s happens to many of us who are used to ‘doing’ things before moving here. I ended up setting up a couple of associations including one which had a Mothers and Toddlers group (although mine were at school) and teaches English to both English & French kids (Accents) - it really was a good way to meet people and see how the community ticks. I’ve now passed on both associations to concentrate on our business which is also getting me out and about!
I don't know if this will appeal to any of you, but I recruite for Avon and it's a great way to meet new people, make new friends, feel you are "doing something" and make some extra cash. Avon is a great product, no hard selling needed, and with nothing at all to pay up front, you can give it a try with no risk...If anybody is interested please contact me on looavon7@gmail.com. for more information. If you can include a landline number in your mail I will be happy to call you, if not I will send you further details by e-mail
Shame I am not in your area either as I am desperately in need of some female company too! We have been here for five years now and my husband works long hours, commutes to UK fortnightly and now that the children are settled I need some me time. Having given up work to come here I was looking forward to a bit of relaxation and stress free lifestyle but now I need to do something. I was thinking of maybe starting up a group in my area, dept 32 as I have gone passed the toddler group stage. Also I am going to start up a business but this probably won't bring me the buddies in that I need to meet. Don't get me wrong I have met some 'normal people' here but not many!!
Hi Leeanne, a woman near me started a Parent Infant Group (PIG) where mums got together at someone's house or the park and while the kids played, the mums chatted. Why don't you start something like that. You'll need to use some networking skills but word-of-mouth works just as well in France as it does elsewhere.
I agree, I felt terribly isolated when I was at home with my kids. Have you thought about starting your own business working from home, there are many opportunities these days with the internet.
I worked for a while for Tots to Travel which was a great company to work for and although it didn't work out for me it inspired me to start something for myself which is now doing really well. I started using the autoentreprenneur system which, as I was on conge parental, gave me a reduced rate of charges to pay.
It wont find you friends immediately but it will give you something more challenging to keep your mind occupied, you will meet peole and if you're lucky, it may provide an income as well - but don't count on it in France, it's very unlikely it will make you rich.
I don't think its 'you' at all. I think most of us on here have felt the same at one time or another. We have a very strong culture of 'girl' friends that just doesn't exist in France. French women (esp. outside big cities) tend to be 'friends' with their sister-in-laws. And that can feel really exclusive.You will find some female buddies eventually, it will (unfortunately) just take a lot longer than you expect - hang on in there! x
I'm afraid I'm not in your area but I can relate to how you must feel. I've been in France a long time but moved to a rural area this summer whilst on maternity leave and I felt a bit isolated. It felt like starting over. I managed to find a great Mummy group with lots of other Mummies. Have you tried looking for association parentalite on the internet or asking maybe a midwife or town hall if they know of any associations you could join? I'm back at work now but I love my link ups with other local Mummies.