A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they
understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave
all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?
''NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything
tidy, would that get me into heaven?
Again, the answer was 'NO!
''If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get
me into heaven?'
Again, they all answered 'NO!
I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?'
A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'
Just because I’m slightly hard of hearing I got my first formal warning at work today.
The boss was NOT in the same spirits as me.
Anyway, not to worry:
Happy Ballantines Day everyone.
like it
herb decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy felt
she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed
Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12
year old.
He stated that it was OK because he loved her sooo much. However, Herb
felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he had a
deformity too.
Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem. My winky is
the same size as an infant and I hope you can deal with that once we are
married.'
She said, 'Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size
winky.'
Sandy and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon. Herb
whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing,
and holding one another.
As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out of
the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.
She said, 'You told me your winky was the size of an infant!'
'Yes, it is ... 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 19 inches long.'
Well thats got me thrown off the Forum :-)
Everyone, feel free to add you own piece of humour!
Out of the mouths of babes etc!