Laugh a minute!

Nothing like a good laugh so how about a jokes thread to help make the winter months pass a little more quickly ?

I'll start off with a cleaned up version of a golden oldie :

Thursday night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in hospital's ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function & all around my head, hell of a pain over my left ear and a drop-dead gorgeous nurse hovering over me.

It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident.

She looked deep & steady into my eyes and I heard her slowly say,

"You may not feel anything from the waist down."

I managed to mumble in reply,

"Can I feel your breasts then?"

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

And what do you call a bear with no eyes?

AND when you go to school for the first time what do you call a bully?