LBC - "My French wife still hasn't forgiven me for voting for Brexit."

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Jeez…

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She has grounds for divorce, I can’t vote in the UK, been away too long but I am a remainer, my children voted for Brexit and there has been a rift between us ever since.

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Someone I’ve known - very, very well for several decades - voted Leave. They didn’t think Leave would win and just wanted to send the government some sort of wake up call. If I actually told this person what I felt, it’d create some riffs that I’m not prepared to experience.

This person is someone who’s benefited from some very relaxing breaks here at our French home over the past 7 years.

However, I’m shutting up - very unlike me. I daren’t take the risk.

There certainly seems to have been some voters like this. Those who “wanted to send a message” - as if that were needed - but did not believe that the vote would actually be for Leave. I suspect that some also voted Leave expecting the overall result to be Remain in order to tap into some counter cultural kudos.

I sincerely hope that these groups were not large enough to swing the vote. I actually have some sympathy as the Leave campaign told everyone that leaving the EU would be simple and have no negative consequences - so it must have appeared to be a low risk strategy.

But the leave campaign was misguided at best and mendacious at worst. I hope that sanity prevails and we do wind up with some sort of deal but it is unlikely to be as good for trade as what we have now.

I am old enough (just) to remember the 70’s and the dire straits that the British economy was in at the time. Industrial unrest, power cuts, the three day working week and seemingly weekly handouts from the IMF to keep us solvent. I fear a return to the problems of that era.

I’m certainly old enough to remember the 1970s - I was 19 when they started. No, it’s certainly not a period I would like to revisit, but I can see similar problems for British society and the nation’s economy should we leave - particularly without a very good deal. However, no deal can be as good as the one we already have.

I know people who did the same with the Scottish referendum. They themselveslves want Scotland to stay within the United Kingdom but voted for independence. One told me afterwards that husband decision had frightened him when he saw quite how close the vote was. I asked him why he’d voted for independence if he didn’t want it and his answer was simple; he wanted to be able to tell his grandchildren, (he’s mid 40s unmarried and has no children) that he was a true Scot and had voted for an Independant Scotland. I’m not sure why he wanted to do that as an independent Scotland would have made him have to move to keep his well paid MOD job when that headed south and he didn’t believe in the cause anyway. There’s nowt as queer as folk.
At the time I saw the danger, if Cornwall was offered an independence vote most of the people I know in the county would vote to leave the UK. Not one of them would have a clue how the place would survive but what would that matter. It’s a sort of nationalistic nonsense. St Pirran and me mates, who needs more?
I’ve always wondered what effect the European football championships had on the referendum vote; half the population were wound up by the occasion, many will have driven to the polling booths in cars bedecked by national flags then, once there, they had to think logically before making one of the most important decisions of their generation!

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I think it’s rather admirable when someone puts what they see at the time as the long term best interests of their country above personal considerations.

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This is one reason why Referenda are dangerous.
General Elections are the vehicle for expressing disapproval against the government.
A Referendum is a response to one question only.
I can quite understand the wife’s displeasure, whether she is French or not.
Our daughter voted leave, even though she said she did not want to be asked the question.
She has caused our income to drop by 15% and her sister who lives in Germany to change her nationality.
Do you think we have forgiven her.
Absolutely not.

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Think you might be being a bit harsh Jane, it wasn’t just her, it was the rest of the 52% as well.
My father, and my niece also voted out, but that’s their right, I don’t hold it against them but I do tell them that I think they were wrong, and why, and that when it does happen in won’t be able to load my car up with wine to bring over to England for them.

Is your loss of income down to the exchange rate or less gite business?

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Well, she, like many more, did not think things through. Mind you, she has always been awkward.
Our gite is very successful and is a great help as we ask for payment in euros.
Our pensions all come from UK, so, like many more we have a big drop in income.

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I might disagree with the way your daughter voted but nobody can disagree with her right to vote that way. It would not have been personal.

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Yes, but everybody has to accept the results of their actions.
She didn’t want to be asked the question, so why did she not abstain?
If you have family that will be badly affected by the result of the vote, you should not expect them to welcome you with open arms.
You said that it would not be personal, but the results are very personal to the rest of her family.

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How sad to fall out over something so trivial. Exchange rates vary and you can’t just blame Brexit. Wait and see what happens when the Euro collapses. My husband voted leave and I voted to remain (for the wrong reasons unlike my husband who voted for what us best for Britain long term). It didn’t cause a rift between us. It showed that we have respect for one another’s view points. As it happens if there were to be another referendum I would certainly vote to leave as I’m not at all impressed with what’s happening with the EU now.

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When is the Euro going to collapse? My crystal ball is out of commission at the moment but the business pages suggest that it is a lot healthier than the pound at the moment.

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I’m with Angela on this.
Surely everyone is entitled to have their own priorities and their own set of values and their own gut feelings. I have to admit it’s always amused me when you meet couples who always say “we like this” and “we do that” and “we’ve never liked the other” - I always wonder which one decides what they’re both going to like. Very occasionally I can say that and I always laugh at myself when I do, but more often it’s a case of “He likes that but I’m not keen” or “I love this but he can’t stand it”, we’re chalk and cheese really but we meet in the middle and we have a good relationship. I couldn’t be doing with a man who has no mind of his own.
I don’t choose my friends because they say “me too” to everything I say, and there are lots of people I like and respect even though we don’t always see eye to eye.
And there are also people whose opinions I apparently share on certain issues, who for whatever reason I neither like nor respect.
I suppose it depends what you base your friendships on.

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Be patient, just wait!!

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Well I don’t blame her…so hypocritical when people who benefit or live in the EU even voted Brexit. They should be deported back to wet windy UK asap

Oh come on! What sort of pathetic reply is that?

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Regardless of where you live, how can it be hypocritical to vote for Brexit if you genuinely believed the UK would be better off out of the UK?
I would have said it was hypocritical to vote remain, purely on the grounds that you thought it would be better for you personally, although you actually thought the UK and the people who live there would be better off leaving. I thought the vote was supposed to be all about the UK’s future, not individuals’ futures.
Of course those who live in the EU might actually have felt that the EU would be better off without the UK, and they might not be alone in that, but again I don’t think that’s what the referendum was supposed to be about.

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