Move Nikki. Life’s too short etc. Montpellier is a great town.
Not disagreeing at all Norm, neither generation is better or worse than the other. What we have is the stigma of truth always came from adults and children were expected to be without a voice or opinion. That is what has been wrong and must change, not that one side is more mendacious than the other.
Emily, Brian, this is a curious extrapolation of what I said, which was reflecting on a given situation and from different view from others in the same area.
Both of you seem to be suggesting something I didn't suggest, i.e. to ignore children. However this is also curious as it seems to suggest that we should always listen and believe children, who always tell the truth, and by logical extension should therefore always deem the adults to be in the wrong as always being liars.
If you disagree on this assumption on my part, please enlighten me as to how this differs from your own judgement.
To me the reality is keeping our mind open and not making a re-judgement but recognising that the young 'human beings' as you Brian describe them, are just as capable of mendacity as adults.
Hear! Hear!
Yes I fear if it would have been my kid she would have been slapped back to last week and called something in French that rhymes with lute.
Don't let her get away with it and I am in total agreement with Véronique's advice.
Throw in a sympathetic journalist for good measure but definitely do not start throwing punches. That makes a victim of the original perpetrator, the perpetrator of the angry father and makes the life of the child many times more miserable.
The 'anyone touches my kid I'll do time for GBH' approach doesn't work. What does work is a proper dossier and sending it up through the echelons of bureaucracy, while letting all parties know exactly what you are doing and why. It is the only way that such behaviour won't be swept under the carpet with a good dollop of victim-blaming or whistle-blower-blaming alongside the sweeping.
The Maire is actually the main law-enforcement person in the commune & also responsible for school in terms of everything but staff recruitment & lesson-content, because of that, the courriers recommandés need also to be sent to keep him/her in the loop and make sure all Ts are crossed and Is dotted.
You DO talk to the inspectors because they are responsible for primary schools, they are the direct hierarchical superiors. If that doesn't get you anywhere you send the whole dossier to the Recteur d'Académie. You DO go to the Mairie because the Mairie is responsible for running the school even if it isn't for staff recruitment. You DO go to the Gendarmes because an assault has been committed, on a vulnerable person, by someone with responsibility vis-à-vis him.
Interesting to hear that. Our nearest ecole prive is about 1/2 an hour away (but the local state school is not so much different) and quite difficult to get to in winter. I'm pretty sure that none of the village children go to it and to be honest I haven't actually heard of any "village" children going to university either. The general level seems to be some sort of education in a trade (but of course you can make quite a good living at that these days). Two local Brit boys have become officers in the French Marchand Marine. Having looked at the general level of academic attainment and indeed ambition locally one thinks forward and I even considered going down the route of boarding in the UK but I can't afford that these days! I will make enquiries on the local ecoles privees as that could work. On the contrary at the moment our daughter doesn't appear to be suffering any "exclusion" and in some cases I do feel that this is imagined or as a result of lives here being much more private and large family orientated that I saw in the UK.
Hi Nikki
I know exactly what it is like with regards to living in a small village in semi-rural France, especially in this south west sector that is very sparsely populated, and all of the suspicions and prejudices because you are not from the village. We came to the Pays Basque when our son was 2 and experienced a similar problem to yours when he started at the local village maternelle. It was even worse because we were not Basque. The only solution eventually was to enrol him in a school in Bayonne (privé as it happens although we are not religious) when he was 6 and then the problem simply disappeared. Of course we had to travel to Bayonne twice a day but looking back it was a small price to pay for a successful (and happy) education and now he has just graduated with a Masters from one of the elite grand ecoles. It is awfully hard to fight it and you are unlikely to win any action against the teachers because they will close ranks against you.
Brian …not trying to set examples …and they have already been broken down by a violent adult who is supposed to do the teaching and setting of good examples …just being a man about someone hurts me or mine then expect repercussions …I would not dream of hurting any child and only want the same respect…when you think it is alright to abuse a child in this way (and get paid for it) you are creating a safe place for these people,they should not be in a profession where they can abuse young innocents and in this case the poor mite had to go to a doctor…ooo someone needs a good arse kickin…
Not just France, sadly. It sometimes feels like we are beating an unheard drum Emily.
Steve, good points bar the final bit. If we are to set examples then touching somebody hard is not the best way, especially for our children.
Absolutely with you Norman, but disagree. However, listening to children is actually far more important than what those who can dole out denials and excuses is. Conventional wisdom has always been that adults are right, children should be seen but not heard and so on. My job taught me the world is not that wise to think and act that way. What a child says is often more likely to be true than an adult, so everything must be weighed up rather than looking at it one way only. The physical damage and swimming pool trauma speak for themselves though.
The next point follows. What does you son want Nikki? Is it a change of school which may carry the stigma with it, does he want to go to Scotland or is this where he knows best and is otherwise happy or is his heart in the same place as yours. I am an old man who remembers any expression of opinion in my childhood being responded with words that effectively told me to shut up. My two young children now talk, are allowed and encouraged to talk and no decisions are made over their heads. They too are people, not 'human becomings' but already human beings.
If you were out with your child and you saw someone actually hurt them would you quickly look for the nearest Marie to make a complaint over the incident if it was anyone other than a teacher the police would be called in don’t see why a teacher who job it is to look after their safety should be allowed to get away with this…call in the police if it only causes some stress to the teacher at least you are giving them a bad day …and I still stick by touch my kid …and I touch you…hard…
Exactly my point too.
Nikki, I just hope you are not just responding to what your child is telling you? It seems others in your region are not having the same problem, which makes me raise the question.
Are you not using this situation (assuming it to be true) as a reason for going back to Scotland? You seem to have already made that decision?
Of course if that's what you want to do, then the problem is pretty well sorted isn't it? Why give yourself unnecessary grief over it all?
Life's too short.
Move your kid …it will never get better for him and if anyone touched and hurt my child I would be around to the school and slap them silly…
Agree- these things happen everywhere that we "humans" exist. Co-existence is sometimes difficult and it requires a bit of compromise on both sides. Taking fixed positions is rarely the best idea, but neither is appeasement!
Katie - I absolutely agree with you. Noone should not let an incident like this drive them out of a school or even country . And its foolish to believe that this is because the French are 'backwards' or that it couldn't happen in another place or country (My Sister in the UK has recently experienced exactly the same type of bullying/ closing ranks between teachers in a private catholic school!)You need to balance the sledgehammer and the softly softly. Once you are on the radar and the school and teacher under scrutiny, they are on eggshells!
It would surprise me if the teacher then steps out of line. Firm, Softly softly with a push if required.