By Sunday afternoon I’d had enough of the holidays and more than enough
of my delightful children. As they were all quarreling vaguely, I kicked
them outside to ‘do’ the animals. Doing the animals involves not just
feeding and watering the numerous beasties but also grooming, brushing
and general titivating. As all the animals, from the elderly spaniel to
the cats and ducks, enjoy being brushed, this activity can take all
afternoon. And, once the children are outside, they tend to stop
squabbling and get on with it. In any case, I can’t hear them which is
the main point of the exercise.
So there I was curled up on the
sofa, enjoying a rare moment of calm when the eldest burst through the
door in a state of near hysteria, shouting, ‘Mum, Mum, come quick, its
Frizz’.
Now Daisy is nearly 15 and Frizz is the pony. Being
nearly 15, Daisy is prone to bursts of hysteria and she is what I would
term ‘A Neurotic Horse Owner’, forever worrying about her beloved pony.
I’m more inclined towards the school of benign neglect myself, for both
children and animals. And come to that housework.
But this seemed
serious. Daisy was nearly in tears and white as a sheet. I rushed
outside fearing the worst, only to find Frizz calmly munching on a
hay-net and the small son hopping about nearby holding something in his
hand.
‘Mum, Frizz has got …NITS’, he announced with great
pride whilst unclenching his fist and showing me Exhibit A - a large,
fat nit. ‘Its true Mum, Frizz has got nits’ sobbed Daisy.
‘Don’t
be ridiculous, it probably dropped out of your hair’.
At this,
Daisy snorted ‘Aw Muum’ and gave me The Look. All mothers of teenage
daughters will be familiar with The Look.
If not, imagine that
you are a small insignificant pile of dog poo that has just said
something really, really stupid to a higher life force. The higher life
force cannot even be bothered to reply to such a menial pile of matter
and just responds by shooting you a withering look.
The 'Aw Mum’
bit translates as "I am like, totally way, too old and like, totally way
too cool to like get nits. You loser."
Obviously close
examination revealed that the pony did not have nits (funny that) and
that the child did have nits. Ha!
As luck would have it, only the
day before I’d unpacked a few more boxes and found some Spanish nit
killing lotion. So as long as these are not racist French nits, who
refuse to respond to Spanish chemicals, we should all be ok.
That
evening the teenage nephew - Mr. C - returned home after being out all
weekend. He dashed into the bathroom for a shower. Such behaviour is
totally out of character so my Mama radar went into overdrive…Had he
already heard of our infestation? Was he trying to wash away evidence?
Girls? Drugs?
It turns out that he just hadn’t had a shower since
the previous…Wednesday - which even he considered a bit much. I
think next weekend I think I should add him to the list of animals to be
brushed.
Macdonalds worker
Love it!!! poor Daze, has she recovered yet? more importantly do you all have skin left on your scalps. European nit killer is caustic stuff but does the job from my fond memories!
Have been suffering The Look for a few days now as Muse standing tickets [desperately wanted for the all important birthday present] are sold out ggrrr. Life lesson me thinks…
Much love xxx
Lovely , lovely ,lovely… Oh that brings back such memoiries… G x