Never too old for nits


(Catharine Higginson) #1

By Sunday afternoon I’d had enough of the holidays and more than enough

of my delightful children. As they were all quarreling vaguely, I kicked

them outside to ‘do’ the animals. Doing the animals involves not just

feeding and watering the numerous beasties but also grooming, brushing

and general titivating. As all the animals, from the elderly spaniel to

the cats and ducks, enjoy being brushed, this activity can take all

afternoon. And, once the children are outside, they tend to stop

squabbling and get on with it. In any case, I can’t hear them which is

the main point of the exercise.

So there I was curled up on the

sofa, enjoying a rare moment of calm when the eldest burst through the

door in a state of near hysteria, shouting, ‘Mum, Mum, come quick, its

Frizz’.

Now Daisy is nearly 15 and Frizz is the pony. Being

nearly 15, Daisy is prone to bursts of hysteria and she is what I would

term ‘A Neurotic Horse Owner’, forever worrying about her beloved pony.

I’m more inclined towards the school of benign neglect myself, for both

children and animals. And come to that housework.

But this seemed

serious. Daisy was nearly in tears and white as a sheet. I rushed

outside fearing the worst, only to find Frizz calmly munching on a

hay-net and the small son hopping about nearby holding something in his

hand.

‘Mum, Frizz has got …NITS’, he announced with great

pride whilst unclenching his fist and showing me Exhibit A - a large,

fat nit. ‘Its true Mum, Frizz has got nits’ sobbed Daisy.

‘Don’t

be ridiculous, it probably dropped out of your hair’.

At this,

Daisy snorted ‘Aw Muum’ and gave me The Look. All mothers of teenage

daughters will be familiar with The Look.

If not, imagine that

you are a small insignificant pile of dog poo that has just said

something really, really stupid to a higher life force. The higher life

force cannot even be bothered to reply to such a menial pile of matter

and just responds by shooting you a withering look.

The 'Aw Mum’

bit translates as "I am like, totally way, too old and like, totally way

too cool to like get nits. You loser."

Obviously close

examination revealed that the pony did not have nits (funny that) and

that the child did have nits. Ha!

As luck would have it, only the

day before I’d unpacked a few more boxes and found some Spanish nit

killing lotion. So as long as these are not racist French nits, who

refuse to respond to Spanish chemicals, we should all be ok.

That

evening the teenage nephew - Mr. C - returned home after being out all

weekend. He dashed into the bathroom for a shower. Such behaviour is

totally out of character so my Mama radar went into overdrive…Had he

already heard of our infestation? Was he trying to wash away evidence?

Girls? Drugs?

It turns out that he just hadn’t had a shower since

the previous…Wednesday - which even he considered a bit much. I

think next weekend I think I should add him to the list of animals to be

brushed.


(James Higginson) #2

Macdonalds worker


(nikki edwards) #3

Love it!!! poor Daze, has she recovered yet? more importantly do you all have skin left on your scalps. European nit killer is caustic stuff but does the job from my fond memories!
Have been suffering The Look for a few days now as Muse standing tickets [desperately wanted for the all important birthday present] are sold out ggrrr. Life lesson me thinks…
Much love xxx


(Gina Hams) #4

Lovely , lovely ,lovely… Oh that brings back such memoiries… G x