Somebody just sent me this, I thought I would share it. Apologies for bad language included but not mine and also for the >s at the beginning of each line, didn't want to waste time editing them out!
*ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER (ALLEGEDLY) >
> This, apparently is an actual letter received by the UK Passport
> Office.
>
>
> Dear Sirs,
>
> I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
> this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and
> knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and
> yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what
> date.
>
> For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
> on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed
> for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving
> license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had,
> on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out
> before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all
> those insufferable census forms.
>
> Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's
> name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be
> abso-fucking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I
> die!!!!!!
>
> I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me,
> I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house,
> then you ask me for my fucking address!!!!
>
> What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin'
> there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to
> dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on
> some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you
> give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I
> ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you
> me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!
>
> Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
> poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the
> tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the
> same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
> Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather
> have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut
> off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the
> damn picture - you know, the one where we're not
> allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, do you know why
> we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!
>
> Signed
>
> An Irate Citizen.
>
> P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
> confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
> .......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and
> have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to
> undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.
> ......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am
> - you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN PAKISTAN !