Chocolates are universally appreciated!!
I think that is a lovely idea and I have never yet met anyone (of any nationality) who doesn’t appreciate being thanked!
2 Likes
@Mantragirl @cat
Patricia , you asked about a “protocol” and we are all replying the best we can …
Although I have only had 3 personal experiences…
I have sat in on several other Property Transactions… and have not seen an exchange of gifts at any of these.
Always very professional and at the very end (when everyone breathes a sigh of relief) solemn shaking of hands and saying thank-you… and out everyone goes…
Thus, it would seem that the protocol (if such exists) is to keep things on a business footing… in the Office… certainly in this part of France.
but you do what you feel comfortable with…
Edit: I do know that chocolates and/or bottles get delivered to various folk Notaire/Mairie/whomever around Christmas time… that covers thankyou for the whole year. 
2 Likes
I appreciate the input. Everything is just done a bit differently here but basically, niceness is niceness everywhere.
2 Likes
If you think it really necessary Patricia. I think such gestures are redundant if you have expressed yourself sincerely in words whilst making appropriate direct eye with the recipient. Cards are appropriate, perhaps, at a wedding (as a keep-sake) or if direct face-to-face communication is impossible.
The French seem to me a little aloof from such childish sentimentality which really belongs to children and smitten teen-agers. And the English.
And Americans. We have a Hallmark card to commemorate everything from first car to death of pets and divorce. In England also?
1 Like
Oh??? I will make a note of holiday gift to the Mairesse…so good to know! Thanks!
1 Like
Well I am a sentimental card giver @Peter_Goble and I can honestly say that every French person I have ever given a card to has received it rapturously. That include the farming neighbour who delivers my hay (left in letter box - the card that is not the hay) and my doctor’s secretary who is utterly amazing and works her fingers to the bone.
I actually think this thread is descending into an “I know best” type of conversation and risks deterring readers from making nice, simple, kind gestures.
A bit more kindness would make the world a better place!
8 Likes
I absolutely agree with you Catharine. Just because the French don’t have the same tradition for sending cards for all occasions it doesn’t mean they don’t take joy at receiving them. A simple written word of thanks will surely be appreciated by anyone.
Izzy x
5 Likes
But it is possible to be nice and genuine without giving a card.
I detest cards I think they are environmentally bad and to me they come across as a box ticking exercise for the sender.
Members of my extended family (all female!) however have a very different view however and heaven forbid if you don’t send them a card for every occasion.
I understand the purpose of a card if you are not going to see someone but I cannot see the point of handing a card to say something.
Just an alternate view!
3 Likes
Aw well, I am using up my mother’s stock of around 2k cards / postcards collected from trips to museums around the world so I am spreading culture whilst up cycling!!
4 Likes
Of course it is Mat but everyone just needs to do whatever they think is best.
Environmental concerns won’t stop me from sending the odd card, I try to reduce the environmental effects of my existence in other ways such as eating less meat for example.
As an aside, my Dad sent me a thank you card just before he died which sounds bizarre as I saw him all the time but it’s something I treasure.
Good to share alternative views 
Izzy x
3 Likes
We don’t really do cards - we say thank you, but cards are for eg thanking people for their condolences or wishing them a happy New Year or birthday. Not really for notaires doing their job unless eg sorting out a really difficult fiddly indivision with lots of family feuding, or the like. Someone like a notaire’s or doctor’s secretary, or your midwife etc if you plague them a lot would appreciate it though.
3 Likes
We most like chocolates 
. My best ever pressie was from a young first time mum who was wanting an epidural (shudder), I said absolutely if that is what you really want but lets do what we can without it as the longer you stay active ect quicker the labour will be and the more in control etc. I stayed with her all day, lots of birth ball, water ect. She had the most amazing natural birth 
and was so empowered realising what her body could do. She was beyond thankful to me that I helped her see she didn’t unquestioningly need an epidural (which so have their place for long, difficult births). Her grandmother (who brought her up) came in with 2 handmade bracelets in turquoise beads, one with a silver tree of life and one with an angel, she saw the power and positivity and wonderful start for the new family that such a wonderful birth gave everyone and made them to thank me. At least 6 years later I think of that little family every time I wear them
2 Likes
We didn’t show up at all but our sellers were very unaccommodating. I think that your offering would be very lovely, just my opinion, how could it not be? You’re on the right track is my opinion x
1 Like
Tss tsss I loved my epidural for #1, it meant I could sit in the labour room and write reports and was a help with my skyrocketing blood pressure and meant less stress if I had finally needed to be wheeled in for a cs 
(luckily not). Didn’t have anything for the others, didn’t even bother going to hospital in fact 
My midwives got flowers.
1 Like
That’s exactly what mon compagnon m’as dit et il est français. Maybe he does know a thing or two after all.
1 Like
And they are great for those sort of reasons. I am just passionate about empowering women to have amazing births without if they can! I had one for my 1st (too young, French was crap, was told it was that or nothing) and hated it, 2nd i had nothing at all and it was amazing!!! We wont’ talk about the 3rd (was a mw by then so got the curse and had an emergency cs and nearly lost him!).
After being beaten down on the price and I had asked for a speedy finalising the buyers took their time, then got hung by their own petard by the ‘lockdown’, so took one full year. I had offered to leave furniture until they could get their own and they turned me down on that by just hours before a charity had taken what I did not need they demanded I leave it so that they could get a discount on their taxes! They just mad it giving me time to get back to U.K. in between another ‘lockdown’. I am still trying to find a suitable property with my greatly reduced cash. Pensioner and much reduced. Too old to get a mortgage.
Update:
Dress: extremely casual. Shorts, tshirts, sandals, jeans, the Notaire put a blazer on. We were all hot enough and miserable under our masks. Notaire delivered everything in French, summarized each section in English.
Gifts: The agent and sellers came to the house before the signing to read meters and check out the SkyBox which is acting up. It seemed like an appropriate time to give gifts. We gave a really nice box of chocolates to the agent, champagne to the sellers. Sellers gave the agent and us each a big box of beautiful cupcakes and said if the box is not working, they’d replace it. But of course we’d never ask! It’s our responsibility now.
Best real estate experience ever. It was a huge love-fest all-around and good vibes from start to finish. Thanks for all the advice! I loved reading all the house buying/selling stories.
Cheers!
5 Likes