Sexual intervention!


(Catharine Higginson) #1

The not so small son came home from school yesterday, bounced into the office and proudly announced that he’d just had a sexual intervention. Having spat my tea over the keyboard, I enquired further and it transpired that he was referring to the sex ed class rather than an encounter with a random paedophile. This is the problem with so called ‘bi-lingual’ kids - they do tend to translate things literally.

Further questioning revealed that nothing had changed since his older sister had had ‘the talk’ some years earlier. The kids are still being issued with a condom and shown the same ancient film. The first part features a couple (heterosexual obviously) who talk about having sex, have sex and then talk about it some more. How very French. They probably smoked a post-coital Gauloise afterwards.

The second part features a cartoon depicting different sized willies. I can only describe this as a wall of waving willies. It’s enough to put you off for life. I imagine the idea is to reassure all the pre-pubescent boys that one day, they too will have a man sized appendage and if they don’t, hey, it’s no big deal. Obviously this led to lots of discussion on the bus on the way home from school with the more ‘adventurous’ girls in the class, providing lots of detailed information on the size of their boyfriends willies.

Max is still of an age where he can’t possibly imagine why you would ever want to show a girl your willy and found it all quite bizarre. But he did also point out (rather sadly!) that by the time he got to use the condom, it would probably have perished, so maybe he’s not too far off being interested in girls after all. Hopefully he will have learned something from all this, namely that women, whatever their age, like to discuss their partners ‘bits’ in public and are thus, not to be trusted!

Yours,

Worried mother of a teenage boy.


(Robert Hodge) #2

Dear Catherine, what a lovely way with words you have. :-)

Seems to me that you could earn a good living as a 'Raconteuse'.

Reminds me of the time we were shopping in Lidl's where the special offer of the week was the latest type of rucksack. The Advertising Dept had obviously not consulted a native English speaker, as the big bold bright sign prominently displayed above said goods, proudly proclaimed --- "BODY BAG" 14.99 Euros !!!


(Catharine Higginson) #3

Thank you very much! Love the body bag story too!


(Tony Marwood) #4

"namely that women......not to be trusted" yep, that's a given.

You need to tell Max to get his Willy seen by as many women as possible, because when he turns 50 the only one he'll be showing it to (or at least interested in it) is his Doctor.............