We have been out in the garden today. It’s that time of year when cutting back and clearing is necessary. Our charming guest lent a hand. The weather was pleasant, all in all a good day. Except that we have clearly been invaded by Notmis. The Notmi (pronounced ‘not-me’) are usually less than 1.5m tall, although there are subgroups that grow taller. They are mostly found in beds, on sofas, preferring squalor to hygienic, orderly environments. They help themselves to food and drinks which are often eaten or drunk directly from containers, wrappers or other packaging. That packaging is left wherever the Notmi ate or drank it, along with spoons and other artefacts. They Their behaviour is much like fairies, yetis and other rarely seen species we have all heard of but whose activities we know little of.
Today, during one break from garden work we found the refrigerator door left wide open. The Notmis were at work again. Somehow or other Twix wrappers that ended up shredded by dogs and other mysterious happenings like lights left on in a room where the sun was streaming in, taps left running, toothpaste found in peculiar places. Typical Notmi behaviour. We naturally asked the children and all they could do was confirm our suspicion by saying “Notmi”.
Dear readers, please keep an eye out for signs of these creatures. They have never yet been seen but we know they exist from their activities. For the scientifically minded amongst you here is what we know of its relationship with human beings - Familia: Hominidae; Subfamilia: Homininae; Tribus: Hominini; Subtribus: Hominina; Genus: Homo; Species: Homo sapiens; Subspecies: Homo sapiens sapiens; Subsubspecies: Homo sapiens sapiens notmi.