Meg - have you thought about a pen pal? Apparently letter writing is becoming all the rage again with women of all ages and there are site where you can find pen pals with similar ages / backgrounds / interests. Read a very interesting article on the subject recently - I'll see if I can find it - and it might provide the friendship outlet that you are after? x
Sorry I see where you are - um, maybe move somewhere less isolated? Is that possible? If English is a prerequisite maybe you aren't in the right place.
Whereabouts are you Meg? Are there any English-speaking people around at all? Are there any interest-groups you could join, whether French or English-speaking? Often you find something when you aren't actually looking...
Goodness why write somebody off before you have even met them? Maybe a person who has a very traditional sort of job is actually a lot more interesting than you give them credit for, maybe they do it to fund their shark-wrestling-in-Hawaii habit. Maybe they are an expert on something you might find fascinating. Maybe they aren't what you imagine at all.
People are just people and it is so easy to stick a label on them and miss all sorts of interesting things. Unless you are telepathic you can't possibly tell what a person will think about you and if you really want to meet someone who corresponds to you maybe it is worth being a bit less dismissive first-off.
You presumably aren't looking to shack up with someone the instant you meet them so why not just meet all sorts of people without too much triage & then see what happens?
Loads of clichés spring to mind re books & their covers, kissing a lot of frogs before meeting a handsome prince etc etc
Actually, no confrontation is obvious to me. Opinion, yes and plenty of it but no accusations or rants about rights and wrongs. Opinions are personal, coming from how a person sees and has experienced the world and are as likely to be wrong as they are right and have also both the possibility of concurring with or disagreeing with somebody else's. I am sure that certainly Vic and I, perhaps now David, would concede that. Suggestions about possibilities are always par to the course and given that practical jokes do occur, to suggest the possibility can be taken with a pinch of salt if we are wrong.
Any sites for meeting people whilst not insisting on photos rightly point out that without one both parties are literally "in the dark" and not likely to be appealing to others. After all most men I know would not be interested in getting acquainted with a lady wearing a burka. As lots have pointed out on this website but in the burka debate actually looking at someone in the face whilst talking to them in whatever context is a prime consideration in western european society. We've moved on since 84 Charing Cross Road. Of course you may try without exposing too much of your persona to others, but that's putting them at something of a disadvantage day 1, and minimising your own chances. You can of course post the faces of other people- as it would seem quite a few do.
I cannot believe some of the responses. We put a simple email on the site, then have to qualify that we don't look like the back end of a bus, then are accused of being men playing a practical joke, (I think our sons would disagree!), words like appalling, smells, should be more grown up, sarcasm, and, general unkindness and confrontation......is the response. All because there is no photograph. Well!! In life I believe that relationships are difficult enough, and, life has taught me that therefore some kind of " in common" has to come in, it is not a matter of who or what the person might be or has been, but understanding each other's mind set, being on the same wave length having perhaps experienced similar things in life.......and no I would not have anything in common with someone who has been a clerk all his life 9 - 5 in an office, he would not get me at all, and, he would probably feel he could not cope with the inconsistencies of my being self employed, as many of my friends have said to me "couldn't live like you do". I would very probably over power him completely, due to the fact I have had to make instant decisions in life and take control, and, also have a fairly strong personality, and I would make him feel very insecure in many ways.........I would not wish that on anyone...we would very probably make each other very unhappy in the long run, it does not mean we are better or worse, just different. I have done that one too before you go for the jugular on that subject and it does not work trust me, and, was dis-inherited by my family for following my heart!! Started therefore with a suitcase!! So I can talk on the subject. When you are working into the night for weeks because you have to, and, your partner wants to see you after awhile they can't cope with it, someone who has been in business gets that and can accommodate the problems and can also advise practically. Finances are imbalanced at times as well, and, although to begin with this is fine in the end it does become a problem.........for the man, if he is one. Your friends have been to different places and social events which perhaps have not been accessible to this person, and, again therefore conversation becomes a problem socially. This makes me sound just awful, but, you are backing me into a corner with your responses so I feel I must respond too.....I will probably wish I hadn't. I am far from perfect, I am just a survivor, who has tried very hard to "get there". I have friends who have not a lot and other who have, but as said in the first email, they are all down to earth. Life's university is what makes a person, and, what we are trying to say in our request we are looking for people who perhaps have a degree in!! Which probably means they gone up and down the snakes and ladders a few times........someone who has very sensibly stuck at a job for life is more stable than I am....again would not wish that on him either!! So a little more insight. I am just trying to get it right just for once, in this wonderful country.and again say, would love to find someone to share it with.
I am not doing a men against women anything either. Some of us have absolutely no time for such outmoded and distasteful pursuits Meg. What I am certain is that had a couple of blokes done the same, somewhere along the line there is a high likelihood that a comment or two about 'sexism' and being 'typically blokish' might very easily have arisen. SFN is and remains above going down that beaten path and so I cannot condone or shrug off when women do the same. As for making it selective by implication (age, like minded or whatever) I absolutely agree with Véro, the pool is small so why do it and if Andrew is included in the 'flack' think again, he was being helpful.
As a conscious person rather than a gendered being, I would not be interested in befriending anybody who stays anonymous behind a black square and that is hardly a 'looks' thing given how vague 99% of the pictures on here are. I am not quite as fervent as Vic but put the two ingredients of this post together and I forget whether it is a man or woman putting it up because men would get exactly the same response from me.
I looked up 'sites pour se faire des amis' on google and got
ziwego.com/fr
badoo.com/fr
I'm afraid I don't know anything about them at all but it might be worth checking them out. I also think possibly doing an activity of some sort eg dancing or cycling or painting or am-dram or something like that might be good, if you want to meet someone of the opposite sex for friendship et plus si affinité as we say.
I would also say don't rule out French people or other nationalities, because really you are limiting yourself to a very small pool if ou are looking for someone who fits all the criteria eg particular age/ single/ English/ lives near you (wherever that is but particularly if you live somewhere small or remote).
simple, try Meetic et al. But people will prefer a photo there too ;-)
Lynne, it almost seems like a practical joke. You put out a curriculum vitae for some blokes, that smells like a bit of a points system in essence. So, the most handsome, intelligent man in the world is not going to appeal because he has always been a clerk in the local council office until his redundancy payout allowed him to move to France? He is suspicious of the world, likes own four walls and women. To boot, there he is gambling on a black box that might well be another bloke playing games to see what a prize plonker he can make of a few other chappies. What I really mean, is that I concur with Vic. Like him I am not on the 'market' anyway. My opinion counts for nothing of course, but that Lynne is highly sceptical given that appalling bit of selectivity in your final five words that slaps down all other men but those you 'great gals' (also subjective) do not approve. It may have worked in 1954, but this is 2014 and I thought we were all a bit more grown up.
Shirley, thanks for taking the time to write such a lengthy and informative response. In all innocence the email has been written in the first instance because we were thinking what a great site to ask the question of...maybe just maybe a couple of chaps (or 24...some to be past on as requested!!) might reply. It would be so nice to have some male company for outs and abouts and to then perhaps build on a friendship if we were lucky enough!! Living anywhere on your own can get a bit tedious! I think we will forget it, rather than cause a problem, wish you all well.
Sorry!! "My dear Vic" not enough time to tell you how wonderful I am........
Vic.....not enough time to tell you how wonderful I am..............
That is exactly what I mean...you write a message saying I would have to have photo before agreeing to anything and in fact are not looking anyway!! so why would you want a photo? Compliance another thing I hate...mystery isn't that more interesting!? Just walked the dogs and now going to eat..........no doubt you will reply Vic!!!!!!!!!!!!! I look forward to it!
Meg you sound lovely and would love to have met you but we are in the Dordogne and miles from, would have definitely had you as part of our quest for nice interesting....people.............xx
Vic, Hi. I get it re photo's.........but as you say they are only hints, and, if people prefer not to stick their picture up on a web site of any kind.......surely that is their prerogative. They may feel it is intrusive, they may feel it is their choice I'll go with that. I have over the years had some exceptional relationships, with 1) with a very well known actor which I am sure you and all on this site would know, who is now dead, cancer, unfortunately, but, I met some extraordinary people through him more we all know. Some very successful business men, some good looking some not, but all had charisma and character in bucket loads, some I did not find attractive at all to start with, but they grew on me through their mind, their style and intellect, and, taught me so many things I cannot begin to tell you. Of course there has to be a chemistry, and, I am lucky in that I have apparently a charisma and character of my own, and, have inherited fairly good genes which has set me good stead over the years and perhaps therefore attracted me to these extraordinary people in the first place, but, just for once, I don't want looks to get in the way, been there done that and worn the T shirt and been asked within moments of a phone call some rather odd questions, which perhaps should have been reported!! Friend or whatever develops would like to find not the superficial but the genuinely interesting people in France of which I am sure there are hundreds. I hope this answers your questions and I don't sound arrogant in the process.
I am happily married now but when I was a widower looking for people to meet I did sign up with a French website. Whilst I tried to be as honest as possible about my profile, including having an up to date photo, I found that many of the French ladies posted photos years out of date and I had my suspicions about their posted ages. Anyway whilst I wasn't looking for anybody much younger than me as things turned out I later married someone several decades younger than me. Maybe you can even find people in the better sites like those that are run by The Times and The Telegraph, as expat residents do use those sites too. It doesn't have to be romance, just a bit of fun!
Well thanks for all your replies. simply my pal and I are looking for 2 chaps who are interesting, fun, down to earth and honest. Like you Meg my pal is looking for someone in the late 60's or early 70's her ex partner has just had to go back to the UK for health reasons. She is funny, kind, honest, had her own businesses in the UK has breadth of conversation, is bubbly, good looking, great figure and has had numerous interested parties but not found what she is looking for yet. Great at a dinner party very sociable lady, great in the home, so you have it all with her!! If only I was gay!! Me? ditto, had business in UK still work in now a smaller scenario, and I too would like to have the joy of great company, a down to earth man, who has lived some life and makes me laugh. You must be out there some where, Vic you are too far away dear heart.......so the stones will continue to fall!!
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