I’d stop going shopping if I were you - your paranoia is starting to show! 
This was intended as a reply to Mark - why has it ended up here? I am clicking the right arrows, but this seems repetitipus?
even ‘repetitious’
It’s not a problem for me if people chat at the checkouts but does annoy me is the plonker who decides to pay by chèque. Flipping chèques should be banned from all shops and only retained for payments by mail ie EDF bills etc.
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So why don’t you just say “pardon madame/monsieur” and add “je n’arrive pas à passer” in a laughing tone of voice if they don’t move immediately. If you say nothing everyone assumes you are happy about the situation.
It is very Anglo-Saxon I have noticed to endure something irritating or eat the overcooked steak and then chunter about it - we speak straight away. Much simpler 
you aren’t being rude if you say something.
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But I do say something, even politely sometimes🤣
I would say
“Bonjour… Monsieur (or) Madame… pardonne …mais…” flap my hands and smile broadly (well I would have done before masks)…
Usually worked…
Hey Frenchie…
Je t’aime…
A French person who has a genuine sense of humour!! Al-Ham-Dullah !!
Yes, I know there are great comics in France (indeed were are some really excellent ones), however being able and willing to laugh at something funny is very different to having a sense of humour. And you, dear Tess, are a real peach!! You hit the nail on the head and just got what I was about. There is a definite tendency of many of the locally-resided UK expats to be a little bit stodgy in their outlook on life, which is why I have tried so hard over the years when living somewhere overseas, to be sure that I was living as natively as possible.
I would say, also, Thank You! I have been told many times over the years that I have an apparently engaging writing style, and that given that I have an amazing book of stories that I have amassed over the years working for the rich and famous (which I have), that I should write a book about it. And I am, in fact, in the process of writing this book!! The writing has been on a bit of a hiatus since the start of confinement, but I will get back to it in the coming weeks.
Many thanks, again, and best regards
J
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You are welcome. I am French but freshly arrived from Scotland where my values and social ‘identity’ were remoulded. The result is that anywhere is unbearable. I feel that after living in Glasgow any country (I have not visited a lot or far away ones so I will only insult Western Europe) I visit is between soul killing bland or rude and yes people here can jump on ‘Reply’ and write how racist and ignorant I am.
Therefore when I read your post I recognised that foul temper and smiled. Also thinking of Dylan Moran in Black Books, my evil twin.
I can’t believe some people failed to see your critique of French culture (I ll say it again, many French expats coming back to France find France unbearable, at least lacking a special energy and sense of freedom) and even asked you to leave or asked if you did your share of Godly moral work (that is one thing I don’t miss from the UK, the addiction to shame people into being ‘nice’ citizens who fit in and become law abiding, no cross that, law worshipping people keen themselves to name and shame those who aren’t actively displaying good Christian charity talents)… Ok I have lost myself here, I usually don’t stay up at night!
Yes, keep writing, maybe a blog, to start with mini stories and see the impact. I loved the part of French people filling in every millisecond to chat about nothing,just to use their right (or fill in a very boring day) . I find it true.
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Haha quelle coïncidence! I am half French and half Scottish and grew up in both 
.
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You sound like my soul sister. Love him in that.
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Hmmmm. As an expat American I have no room to talk about anything, but I will add here that when I start feeling like Jim, it sometimes helps to recall one of my favorite quotes from Thomas Jefferson: “A man is as great as the things that annoy him.” Ranting works too.
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Where about did you grow up Véronique ?
Ohhh that is lovely to read that! Did you watch his lost recent stand up comedy? It s full of growing-older rants and us spot on 
No I haven’t seen that - I will find it! Thanks for the heads up. I am torn between whether my fave episode is when he invites the Jehovahs witnesses in to avoid doing hiss tax return or the dinner party where he parks one in the laundry basket. Complete star.
Oh mines are:
when he hesitates when Frances asks him if he ever contemplated ‘being gay’ and he replies, scoffing ‘argh no, too much body hygiene and all that dancing!’
Oh and the travel writer and Bernards’ jealousy and spiteful remarks : " seems to me that you explored Egyptian cotton sheets more than Egypt" or something similar
And my other favourite, it is rather silly but I can’t help having tears so much I am laughing is when France’s describing her clown yoga class and does the step aerobics with giant shoes, I am laughing so much because it is completely surreal yet I could see such yoga bring invented!
Try watching his last stand up comedy. I loved the sharp observations about growing older from being young, cool, sexy, in the moment, socially busy to bam, being bland, so bland with no blood left in your veins but somehow you re ok with that because 'death can’t kill you if you are not really alive ’
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Kincardineshire, Perthshire, Fife and the Borders and the Côte d’Azur. All lovely.
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Such contrast! Love Perthshire.
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I did wonder, what with your first name and all…
Dear Jim,
From within your cri de coeur, my takeaway was your concern of alienation from your kids as they become, and I paraphrase, more ‘French’ than you. No culture is perfect, of course, but perhaps some prolonged outings with them (obviously easier in a non-Covid era) might help expose them to alternative cultures – perhaps visits with relatives or other trips out of the country where you can explore, in a fun way, how other cultures do things differently. Earthy projects like camping, for example, can break down the typical barriers civilization so often imposes.
But you mentioned that your last separation is fairly recent, which is also stressful, so do be kind yourself and the children as you all sort out a new familial constellation. You might find that some of those loquacious elders in line at the local épicerie may well offer a sense of extended family support as you navigate your waters co- and solo parenting.
Best regards,
Pam
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