Welcome to the forum,
I’ve just asked MrsW, (ex juriste but not specialised in family law)
-Your stepmother has no legal right to ask anything of you to contribute to anything.
the EHPAD can, through affiliation, but will need legal work on their side if you are a French resident, but she’s not sure if UK or other national having no ties to France, but it can do, & depend on international treaties etc.
Never renounce inheritance, as this will have no bearing on the situation, this will not change anything at all. You can always renounce inheritances after. & maybe the stepmother isn’t telling the truth.
I know we’re in France not the UK. But that’s not really the point I was making. Children being expected to care for their parents, regardless of the behaviour of the parents , (whatever country they are in, and there are many countries that have this law) is morally questionable.
There are countries where the age of consent is 12 and girls are married off at this age, often to much older men. Just because the law allows it does not make it morally right.
This subject was discussed some time ago, if I recall correctly, a request for financial support for the EHPAD depends on the overseas “child” having sufficient income ie means-tested.
Totally agree, and similar if clear case of child abuse. But if they did provide for you as a child also feel that it is morally wrong not to support parents just because you don’t like them much now.
I’m not disageeing. I happen to believe that children should help support parents in later life, if they can. And, I would hope that most children would support their parents, who have done them no harm, without being asked. But nowadays children, even in their 30’s and 40’s , are often worse off, financially, than their parents. I know that I, at 64, was one of the last to receive a final salary pension, and will receive a state pension before I get to 70. I’m not sure people in their 40’s and 50’s will even get a state pension.
Support is means tested, so children are not expected to bankrupt themselves.
The last 18 months of my mother’s life cost me and my sisters a huge amount for 24/7 at home care Thankfully between us it was manageable. I appreciate that many are not so lucky.
If the home had been held jointly then would French care costs basically force the home to be sold at some point to pay the bills ? This seems to happen in the UK.
In the UK also if it came to it, I would have also thought his contributions to their living costs, maintaining the house etc while they did live together, would mean he could claim a share of the home even if in her name, say if they divorced. Plenty of ladies have achieved that.
Wondering is France different on both these points.
In the UK I would expect a loving wife to raise finance some other way. They may purposely or accidentally not have much cashflow even if there are assets, but in the case first above a loan secured against the propoerty or fees secured by a charge against tbe property as and when it could be sold would surely be the way?
From personal experience, my mum was in a care home from 2007 - 2024. Dad remained living in our family home until his death in 2017 and then we had three months in which to put the house up for sale as demanded by the social security who had partly funded mum’s care since 2007 at over £1000/week with dad paying around £50/week of that because he was retired. At no time was he ever demanded to sell the home as the authorities would have had to put him into social care so no point but at his death, they soon stirred into action. Thankfully he had the forsight to put his half into our names as inheritors years before his death so only half the money went to the local council which then lasted just under two years and mum was put back on social payments with her pension taken towards it each month. They won’t force a living spouse to sell up as there is no help as there would be no money for them to start elsewhere but once you are both gone, then thats it nowadays.
France is generally patient and takes from the succession once someone has died. The same applies to some other things for care of the elderly like ASPA and ASH where amounts are clawed back if there is anything left on death.
Please consult with a qualified lawyer conversant in both the application of French family law and UK law. French law contains a civil code obligation on children to provide for their parents, if they are in need. Raise the question of enforcement of any eventual French court judgment against you, and given what you claim to be abandonment, whether you might be able to obtain an anti-suit injunction from a UK court on the basis of such an abandonment determination. I do not know whether this is actually possible, but anti-suit injunctions post-Brexit issued either side of the Channel are now a “hot topic” in cross-border litigation. Don’t take my word for it, or anyone else here on this forum unless they declare themselves as a lawyer specialising in the areas in question (I don’t think there are any). My specialisation is intellectual property law, and we occasionally encounter tangential family law issues with inheritance, divorce, etc, but it is not my specialty and I would always advise someone with questions like yours to consult a specialist. As you are in the UK, that would mean someone, or a practice, with the relevant qualifications and experience.
The OP is legally obliged to contribute if her father and step mother cannot meet the care costs themselves and the EPHAD will pursue her through the French courts if she refuses to meet any demands they make. Should the courts issue a judgement against the OP then the EPHAD’s lawyers will simply employ a UK based solicitor to start an action in a UK courts which will be a formality.
It’s up to the OP to decide what they want to do but the law is very clear on this. It could of course be a “try on” by the step mother and the “new family” who have the means to pay but don’t want to and see the OP as a wealthy Brit who has a legal obligation, if the OP has had contact with the step mother etc then she ought to know her financial circumstances, the step mother is the “next of kin” and as such would be the first port of call after the father for the care costs.