Are British people ruder than other nationalities?

Sorry it’s a letter to say thank you for having me I had a lovely time.

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@vero

Yes but for English people it means to be cowardly and for French people while it can have that meaning it’s generally used for to slope off without going around and saying goodbye like a polite person.

Strange you say that, one of the first things I learned about French customs was that they are generally effusive in circulating to greet everyone when they arrive but sometimes slope off quietly when they leave.

Perhaps 20 or 30 of us playing petanque, someone else arrives and slowly makes their way around the whole lot shaking hands one by one. I soon learned to do the same, but was initially very surprised to see those same people walking away up the road in silence. at ‘home time’.

Today in the bar, which I inhabit most mornings these days. Exactly the same, handshakes alll round but hardly a notice when someone departs.

But as far as the British couple who left @JaneJones without a word. That is rude because it is not normal British custom and practice.

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You say goodbye to the host or organiser of the get-together whatever the circs but you would normally say goodbye to everyone; there is a circumstance where you don’t which is if you don’t want anyone else to take it as a signal the party’s over.

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I’m happy to say we have received a lot of positive feedback on AirBNB about the cleanliness and tidyness of the accommodation we have left. Sometimes however I have had to plead with my wife to stop cleaning lest we be late for our arrival at the next place and upset the host.

Being a control freak I try to “manage” my guests as much as possible. So I go down to the cottage on Friday and ask them what time they plan to leave on Saturday and say my goodbyes on the Friday - often they are leaving early so I don’t expect them to say goodbye when they are busy trying to get themselves away - Friday is much more relaxed.
I also dislike my guests stripping beds etc. (Each to their own.) I’d much rather do these things in my own time, but then I’m lucky, I’m never seeing one lot of guests out the door with another lot arriving that same day. I’ve got 10 days between our friends leaving this Tuesday and my next guests.

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It’s a bit like French shop keepers who always say hello and try and engage conversation thinking they will trap you into a sale that way. That’s good when you know what you want to buy, but if I’m just brousing, that usually scares me away, I feel under pressure.

And going back to the start of this topic. I don’t think the difference is so much nationality, but urban and rural living people. City people just get on with doing things and ignore the people around them (except when they want to interact with them), that’s rude or at least looks rude. Rural people feel an obligation and usually a will to interact, it’s the old way of living, nicer.

But if we’re talking nationalities, I would say that the French are often the politest people in the world, but can be the rudest too. And the same people that are usually very polite, can often be very rude too and vice versa. It’s often down to feeling and mood. I won’t elaborate more.

No. They say hello and possibly engage you in conversation because that is what we do in our culture.

As for saying ‘trap’ you into a sale indeed, they are shopkeepers, they sell things, you went in presumably you want to buy something, what do you expect? At least they are polite.

“I’m just brousing, that usually scares me away, I feel under pressure.”

If you’re browsing you just say merci, je regarde pour l’instant. The pressure is in your own head.

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Yes, you’re right, probably in my head, perhaps because I’m someone who doesn’t usually go into shops except when I know what I want to buy.
Another point, we shouldn’t confuse politeness and friendliness, they are in fact 2 very different things.

We usually do something similar, but they were eating when it suited us to go round. And then too late by the time we’d eaten. We just assumed that if we were out and about in the morning, which we were from 8am, then they would make contact.

Tom actually reminded me that when they arrived they didn’t knock on our door either, but just walked i to the gîte and made themselves at home. So obviously people who don’t like interaction.

However, all done now and charming Dutch couple arrived and installed with big smiles and professing to be delighted. So nice to have normal people.

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Do people confuse the two? Add familiarity in while you’re at it, it is a pet hate of mine, being tutoyée by someone for no reason sets my teeth on edge.

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In my opinion, there are good and bad in all Nationalities… and hopefully the “bad” won’t cross our threshold too often… :wink: :wink:

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Ah, now that’s another subject (tutoying), not easy for British people to understand. Has this already been done on the forum? I have a British friend (not me) who tutoys just about everybody because he feels like it’s friendly. I can see his point of view, but I know it’s wrong.

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There have been a few threads on it! But don’t let that stop you. Nothing like a language debate on a Saturday evening for a forum stuffed with self declared pedants and people fascinated by language.

(Pssst…it’s tutoiement, the verb is tutoyer)

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We really, really need a pedant of the day emoticon :rofl:

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I was apologising profusely the other day after I tutuyé(d) a French general. I just explained that I’m Scottish and everyone is your mate after 5 minutes :roll_eyes:

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It isn’t what he feels that is important :wink:

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Must say… many French folk tell me that they do understand the difficulty we Brits can have with Tu and Vous…

For me… meeting a stranger… it’s Vous from the outset and stays like that…

but, if I’m with a crowd of my pals… and I’m flicking from Tu to Vous and back again… sometimes I say Tu to the “newcomer” by mistake…
mostly swiftly stopping myself in mid-flow and firmly saying Vous etc etc… where upon the “newcomer” either tells me to carry on with Tu (yes, that has happened) or the “newcomer” forgives my error :+1:

I might have already said this on the cheerful news thread, but was pleased when my singing teacher (approx 40yo) proposed that we shift from vous to tu. Makes me feel young!!

Possibley these? :see_no_evil::hear_no_evil::speak_no_evil:. As in shut up, I don’ t wish to know.

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