I can only speak for the UK. My UK experiences with late parents started out reasonably well in West Sussex, but they had to pay for their electric bath seat because they owned their own home. They also found a carer for Dad through their cleaner (whom they also had to find for themselves). Assessment of care needs by Social Services and Physios took a long time to happen and was rarely followed up (ie. if their needs changed nobody knew).
After Dad died in 2010 Mum was reluctant to stay in Sussex on her own so we sold her bungalow and bought a maisonette in S London which we paid for jointly. This meant no care home could insist we sold it to pay for care as nobody would buy 2/3 of a flat, and I could prove I had paid 1/3 of the purchase price and fees for our UK pied a terre to enable us to stay with Mum rather than family and friends as in the past.
Again, Mum's care took time to assess. We found her a cleaner, and Social Services outsourced her care to an Agency (ours was Mitie). All in all, I'd say her care benefitted Mitie's shareholders more than it did Mum, although the carers did their best within the time allotted they were under constant pressure to get to the next customer and visits rarely lasted as long as Mum was paying for. (The ladaies were paid only for the time spent in Mum's flat, not for travelling time). The agency invoiced the local council who invoiced us at random intervals for immediate settlement. Our son scanned the carer's logs to me in France and I checked the hours worked against the invoices. I had to challenge almost every one and won a reduction in every case, often of several hundred pounds. Mum was often charged for carers who didn't arrive, leaving her without a meal or unwashed or going to bed fully clothed. Because she was not renting and had more than £23k in the bank, she paid the full cost of care, about £15 per hour. We ordered her groceries, later mainly ready-meals, online for delivery to her flat and the cleaner or carers put it away. They also took care of the dishwasher and washing machine while she was able to ask them but as she went downhill they rarely bothered. The last year was pretty grim, and she kept going in and out of hospital, more through fear than medical need. District nurses came to inject her daily once she couldn't remember to take Warfarin - mainly at my insistence as I could see during my visits that she was losing touch with reality.
Had we needed to put her into a care home (which we probably should have done for the last month of her life) it would have cost her £40k per year. I don't think the standard of care would have been higher or more extensive. We kept money in her account to pay for a couple of years, maybe 3 at the most, after which a debt would have grown to be paid out of her estate. Once the estate was consumed, the state might have taken over responsibility. In the UK the family are not liable unless they have clearly been squirreling money away to avoid care home fees, or unless a family trust was set up years before care started. It is not a decision to be made suddenly, and if a hospital decides Granny can't go home this time you are up the creek, searching madly for a home which has a vacancy that week at any price.
It is worth noting that the UK Govt's promise of a cap to care costs is worthless. Only a small part of the care home's £40k fees relates to care, the cost of accommodation, laundry, food, cleaning and other "hotel" costs are not covered by the cap. The BBC calculate that virtually nobody will reach the cap, most will sell their homes to pay.
Organising and monitoring Mum's care, liaising with hospital, GP, social services, cleaners and the care agency was undertaken largely from France, and was rather upsetting. Towards the end our close friend and neighbour in France said "Look at you, look at what this is doing to you! This can't go on!" She was right, but this was just before we left for our final visit to Mum, who died in January this year. This is the only reason I would return to the UK to die - to spare my sons what we went through in 2014 while Mum was hostile, confused and stubborn while her life fell apart around her.
and I’m not normally like that!