Mat, I have to say that I had a similar sort of experience; I didn’t get to the point of paying the deposit. However, the experience with the local carpenters was excrutiating and puzzling, and downright disrespectful. And, perhaps it was because I was looking at property with similar issues as concerned viability of the repairs needed. I even had a structural engineer come in and look at it, and he found some obvious stuff that needed immediate attention that the carpenters/contractors hadn’t bothered to look at or mention. It was…complex; as I’m sure yours sounds to have been.
But, it’s not going to stop me. It does make things interesting and a bit challenging, no? A few more gray hairs.
It’s smart to have been serious enough to get to the point of making the deposit, but then I feel also smart to have had the guts to pull out. Not an easy thing to do, bravo to you. Sometimes I wonder if we would get the answers/responses, if we hadn’t actually acted to that extent. I chalk it up to my education costs 
Rather than losing a deposit, for my part, I’m in danger of losing my french horn which I foolishly stored in the property (thinking I was surely going to buy it). I go back to retrieve said horn, in a few weeks. 
I for one would be interested to learn what your next steps might be, and I would be happy to update on my discoveries and decisions for purchasing. I’m now looking at Bourgogne, perhaps near Auxerre, in the Morvan forest preserve. There seem to be a lot of properties in my price range there…
Cheers! Onward.