OH is probably dyslexic (it didn’t exist when we were at school) and so he thinks he’ll never be able to learn French. He commented to our insurance broker that she speaks better English than he does. Maybe some of you who teach would have an opinion on his chances of ever learning to speak French. However when we went to get the mower thing to go on the back of the tractor he understood exactly what to do to help load it into our van - fetching things and altering the forks on the forklift, positioning the van exactly right - amazing.
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Frankly, I encourage my “reticent” Brits to at least say bonjour/bonsoir… merci… s’il vous plait… and smile…
just a few polite words can mean such a lot to the French neighbours… whoever.
a cheerful smile and, perhaps, a wave goes a long way, too.
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He can probably learn to speak and understand spoken French fine. He doesn’t have to read and write, I met a marvellous old man in Istanbul who spoke fluent Turkish Arabic and Kurdish (3 different language families) without reading or writing any of them.
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Thanks Vero that’s good to know. He does say Bonjour, Merci etc.
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@Stella has a good idea -
Smile & Wave
The French loved ERII and she was smiling and waving allover the place
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I think so much depends on HOW one learns a foreign language - not everyone is the same - and what kind of a life one lives (anywhere - not just in a foreign country).
OH and I freely admit we are hermits. We love being on our own. I lived in a 3 storey property in Battersea divided into three flats in the 80s. During my entire time there I never got much past a “good morning” to the other occupants and never went into their flats - I didn’t need to be friends with them. Similarly with our lives here - during the first few years we rushed round with a group of other Brits - it was useful because we got to know stuff. But we gradually dropped out because it wasn’t us.
After 15 years we are mild acquaintances with our neighbouring farmer and his wife - we chat when we meet. No more than that. The first couple of years we went to the commune meal and then again realised we were squeezing ourselves into a way of life we don’t actually enjoy. COVID has been delicious for us, because no one expects to be having any close contact.
I love being in a restaurant where the conversations around us are “white noise”. And I hated it back in London where every single conversation impinged on my consciousness - whether I wanted it to or not.
We are not in an “English bubble” - we are not in any bubble.
OH speaks better French grammatically than I do, because he loves text book learning. For years here he had a one on one session every week with a French teacher and they went through A level papers together. He loved it. And I used to get so exasperated with the two of them because I wanted them to do much more French conversation - which is what I had with my teacher. My French grammar is non-existent. BUT I also need to see words written down before I can learn them. French conversation on its own - nah! I can’t hear the sounds clearly enough. So, I’m told to read magazines/ newspapers but as I never did in the UK it becomes a chore, not a pleasure
I babble away to the doctor, the woman in the organic shop, our farming neighbour, the French in our photo club. I have given presentations here in French on the meaning of Brexit (the only thing the audience was interested in was Harry and Megan) and the Cassini maps. No doubt, to some, my French is excruciating.
I go with OH when comprehension is essential because he doesn’t hear, or he gets tied up trying to understand a word two sentences back. But he doesn’t hear English either because he is going gently deaf and won’t do anything about it. But then he gets on fine with the guy who sells us wood and the man who looks after our mowers and the man who sells him swimming pool stuff. It’s context and interest and suddenly comprehension is possible.
And no, I’m not interested in spending an evening discussing French politics any more than I am interested in discussing English politics (yes, I know, shock horror, how could I not care?).
My lengthy post is just to show that some of us are different and loving our life here the way it is.
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I agree with you, absolutely…
but you do speak the language… and will do so as and when necessary… well done!
which is very different to many others… and some of those others are affronted if there is not an English-speaker or a translation available to them… (I’ve experience with such folk)
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I’ve been trying to learn French since Nov 2021, 20-60min almost every night - I’m finding it an absolute bugger to pick up and understand. Yes, I am much better (that wouldn’t take much) than I was when it comes to reading, but with writing and conversation it just doesn’t work. The words don’t stick or come out when I need them, and when I’m actually in France I STILL want to use the very little German I have to answer people.
It’s not laziness - I’m just battling aptitude and natural inability.
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Oh, I so agree! I was fluent in Portuguese from my years in Brazil and so often the first word that came to mind was Portuguese. I promise you it gets better! These days I can’t remember a word in THREE languages - French, Portuguese AND English. 
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As for visiting or living in a country where I don’t speak the language, well, visiting it’s almost inevitable. Yet I would much rather travel and learn by observation than not travel at all.
And living in a bubble, cut off to a degree? No problem. It can be a little distressing to not communicate fluently, but as long as there’s good will and a willingness then it’s possible to communicate to a degree.
I can feel that coming too. 
FWIW there seem to be quite a number of Dutch folks with homes in Cussy who speak Dutch and English but not French to a great degree. They seem happy to come and spend their spring/summer without communicating much to the locals.
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Noooo…! The French generally find their language spoken by English people is SEXY! (A bit like we find the reverse). Just go for it 
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Hmm… never been told I sound sexy… 
(feel quite miffed…) … but I’ve been told any number of times… that folk “adore” my accent and language-mistakes… 
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and of course… visiting… and living fulltime… these are two very, very different things…
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For me it is things like, not understanding notices that you see in shops and other public places.
If you do not know what it says, how do you know whether it is important/applies to you or not. Obviously countries try to make it easy, for instance if you see a picture of a mask you know that you probably need to wear a mask. But if you are able to read the full notice you may actually learn the reason and understand the bigger picture - does it apply to specific areas, is it a local bye law etc. During Covid restrictions last summer you saw foreigners walking around not wearing masks where masks were obligatory and you wondered whether they knew they were supposed to.
In fact I wondered how non Francophones in France managed to keep up to date with the advice and the obligations during Covid. That is exactly the kind of situation where I would hate to have to rely on other people to pass on information that everybody needs to know or has an interest in knowing. France did put out a lot of information, actually I think the government"s communication was good, but of course it was in French.
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No embarrassment necessary! We are all students of life.
When I first went to Tokyo from Hong Kong I tried the underground (a very 1940s experience!) and followed the coloured lines by counting stops (because no English script to be seen.) I smiled like a merry fool the entire route and people made little bows and half smiled back. I wasn’t sure if they thought I’d escaped the asylum but was later told that all citizens are told to be polite and helpful to foreigners.
A gentleman did politely inform me that in Japan they stand on the left side of the escalator, the opposite to our Hong Kong habit and which I was gaily doing wrongly. (While smiling like a buffoon.). The nice gentleman went on to explain this left side was to protect their money pouches, tied to the left, from the busy traffic runners on the right. Very wise.
I felt no embarrassment and I learnt another thing that day. Wonderful memory!
I also later was told off by an elderly lady for walking on the grass in the park. Apparently, only for looking at, a bit like my garden in France
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No it is nothing to do with embarrassment. I just do not like to put other people to any trouble or make them responsible for things that I feel I should be able to do for myself.
That makes it sound as if I never ask or give help, which is not the case, but I like to feel it is reciprical and if it was a situation where I was constantly needing support and had nothing to offer in return I would feel awkward. Perhaps I would resort to buying people cakes or giving them wine.
I suppose the bottom line is that I would feel vulnerable and I would feel that others perceived me as vulnerable, and that would hurt my self esteem. As I said before, a personal character fault that affects my life choices.
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Aaahhhh… Eet iz verrry Inglish!
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I find reading and writing French much easier than speaking and listening to it. Now this may come under the heading of age and hearing loss (but I am not deaf) and to that end I am having a test in a couple of weeks.
Embarrassement for me comes not from failing to speak and understand French as such, but from when people realise that I have lived and worked here for 23 years.
My French has deteriorated over that period, there is no doubt about that, I find sometimes that not only do I not understand some of the words spoken to me, I don’t even understand some of them as words at all. They could be speaking any language
Hearing apart, age certainly has a bad effect on learning, of that I am sure. A Welsh relative of mine, born into a Welsh language family, punished at school if he was heard speaking his native language, and then lost it completely spending his entire working life as a teacher in England, eventually retired to his native town, Llanfairfechan, and set about re-learning Welsh at night school. He had to give up, it was so foreign and difficult for him.
Howlers? Asking an aide if she his going to wash my wife’s horse today.
Asking an assistant in a clothes shop if she has shorts with loops for a centaure.
There are others, but age prevents me from remembering them. 
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they have someone who ensures they hear/understand the important stuff 
Do you think so?
The trouble with being perceived as vulnerable is that you are an easy target for the less kind hearted because you are at their mercy. I accept that as an unsavvy tourist I am likely to be overcharged by taxi drivers etc, that is par for the course, it is what tourists are for. But I would not like to be easy prey for the scammers in the country where I live. Even when you do speak the language you have to be on your guard, unfortunately it is part of life these days.