Ooops! He meant well

ohh nice

That’s what I like, Blake! Someone who not only doesn’t drop his aitches, but actually gives his readers an extra aitch as a bonus :hugs:

Funny because most of the nurses I know love it when chocolates, cake etc are brought in

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You’ve sparked a memory of the final time my Dad was in hospital just a few weeks before he died. He was being moved from the cardiac care unit to a cancer ward after spending 3 weeks there. I made 2 banana cakes for the nurses who had given him the most exceptional care, they were truly angels. After all they had done for him it felt like a tiny token but they were overjoyed that I had made the cakes myself and were really touched. I even remember the name of one very special lady, Linda, after 14 years.

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That is so nice to hear. I went to A&E 3 years ago with severe chest clutching heartburn. I thought at 59 I should be sure it was nothing more sinister. It wasn’t but next day I took a big box of biscuits to say thanks. I don’t think they often get gifts in A&E because they were so delighted.
About remembering names, when pregnant with my daughter my sister asked our choice of names, I told her it was Brooke, she was so disgusted that she said we should call the poor child Tania and be done with it (obviously the worst girls name ever in her opinion).
When I went into hospital my midwife introduced herself and yes her name was Tania.
I couldn’t tell her why, although in a lot of pain, I was laughing a bit hysterically. Subsequently ive never forgotten her name.

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Great little story. Did you call her Brooke?

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Yes. It was my husband’s favourite name . I gave her the middle name Elizabeth as a fall back.
My parents didn’t like it either and said they would call her Elizabeth so I told them not to bother visiting unless they called her Brooke.
Everybody soon got used to it.

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It’s a lovely name. What a shame to disagree over something like that. Families eh??!!

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Good for you, Teresa! I wish I had your bottle when dealing with my own mother’s spiteful ways.

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My parents named me Denise Teresa but always called me Teresa, that would have been fine if they had informed the 6 different schools they sent me to. I spent the first term at every new school not answering to my name and then answering to both names and constantly worried if I would be in trouble for not answering. I vowed my children wouldn’t go through that.

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I thought for ages I was called Pat Patricia. We had a very spiteful student teacher who would insist on calling me Patricia although it was never intended that I was called the longer version ,the day my mum went to complain she joined a queue of other parents whose children she had upset

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I often wonder what happened to the nasty teachers and if they were bullies at home.
We had a sadistic teacher at catholic primary called Mr Mallett. I really hope he had a sad and miserable old age.

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I took chocolates to fracture clinic when I was discharged,as clinics etc are often forgotten when gifts are taken in for staff

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Good point, although I don’t approve the gifting of staff for the work they do, it is condescending and discriminatory: some patients can’t afford gifts.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I was taught that it was unprofessional to accept gifts from patients or relatives, as it could be seen as an inducement to get special attention. I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed to decline, but always said something like “your recovery/satisfaction is our highest reward…thank you too!”

The same disquiet also holds for me over the pernicious trend towards ‘gifting’ teachers, for the same reason: it is divisive, and sends the wrong message to children about ‘rewards’ and ‘favours’ IMO.

Also, I don’t see domestic, catering, technical or administrative staff being given confectionery for the tremendous work they do in keeping the ‘engine-room’ of the hospitals and ambulance stations
running 24/7. Or do they get what’s left over when the nurses have had their fill?

I don’t think nurses treat anyone any differently if they get a gift or not. The majority seem to be given as people leave anyway, so a box of Heroes as they go through the door won’t influence the care someone receives on a ward
As for being considered unprofessional I follow my local trust on Twitter ( a lot of my friends work at the hospital) There are frequent tweets about staff receiving gifts

It’s not condescending at all Pete. It’s a token of appreciation for the care nurses give. If a small gift is given at the end of the stay then how can it be an inducement for special attention?

I find your stand on this a little odd.

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We were taught in preliminary training in the 1950s that patients admitted to hospital tend to adopt the ‘sick role’ which is characterised by a necessary and reinforced dependency e.g. changing into night attire, staying in bed, having to call for attention, conforming to an imposed routine etc.

One result of this is some psychological regression to childish or infantile patterns of behaviour, including emotional attachments to care givers. These, we were taught, needed to be managed skilfully by practitioners. The same teaching still holds good, or did when I last taught nurse undergraduates. So it’s not odd IMO.

Nurses learn to gradually help to reinstate mature adult emotional reactions in patients before they leave care, lest they continue to display dependency patterns at home. Some people still do, as families well know.

Not accepting gifts was part of that training. I hope this makes sense to you, you are a very understanding woman!

Sometimes the old ways made sense, and perhaps still do, Mandy. And most nurses report nowadays that they no longer get the respect their role deserves. In some respect the casualisation of relationships is the cause IMO. For further discussion, no doubt!

Pete you are talking about the 1950’s which is nearly 70 years ago and attitudes change. Homosexuality was still illegal then!! But that’s another subject.

A lack of respect is a general problem in UK society and not restricted to the medical profession.

I’m afraid Pete that I think your views on this subject are outdated and I don’t see anyone else on here agreeing with you. And now I have exhausted what I have to say and will leave it there.

Have a lovely day xx

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You too Mandy! I can’t believe it’s August already…where has the year gone, eh? :smiley:

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Have to say I agree with Mandy. When I visited a relative in hospital earlier this year I saw lots of posters about “End PJ Paralysis “ encouraging people to wear their own clothes as it takes them out of the patient mindset. To be honest I think probably the only patients likely to be in hospital long enough to become dependent nowadays are extremely ill or have long term problems