Pregnant and in France

General Discussion
21

Hi Annie

I’ve just joined too and know how you feel.

Just wanted to drop you a line as I found myself pregnant for the first time in France, with shaky French to boot so know what you must be going through. My son is now a strapping fine lad of 16 so it was a while ago but would be glad to give you any pointers (that I can remember!)

I initally was going to the local hospital as I hadn’t long been in France and didn’t know how things worked, let alone had a doctor. After a few hairy experiences, and feeling very alone and low, I walked out of what I considered a very unfeeling place and wandered the streets of Bayonne looking for a clinic. After a few wrong turns I found a maternity clinic and a lovely paediatrician (who spoke some English) who welcomed me and made me feel like I was being looked after.

She was great and saw me through all the stages including the bizarre situation of being asked to sign up for an epidural at 4 months gone at an ante-natal class. When I replied that I didn’t want one, there was a shocked silence from everyone. She asked me if I knew that it was going to hurt! I wasn’t against drugs but didn’t like the idea of an epidural if i didn’t need one. It is standard practise in France (the home of the water birth!) and I had to fight not to have one. I did take all the tests and visited the anaesthetist beforehand. Funnily enough when labour started I screamed for one but it was too late. My doctor used pethidine, a morphine based pain killer which worked very well as she was against gas and air because of nausea.

The health service here in France is excellent and full care is given to pregnant women but do take the time to find out where you will give birth. Hospitals are not always the best place and they do have clinics. I didn’t have top up insurance but was still covered for this private clinic…it just meant that I had to share a room after the birth.

I stayed a full 5 days after the birth, as standard practise, with the midwives thinking it funny that I wanted to keep the baby with me over night. They believe very strongly in mothers regaining their strength and a few good nights sleep before sending you home. Take all the help they offer, you’ll need it.

If you are rural there may well be a travelling mid-wife (sage-femme) that will come and visit you and help you through. Again ask at the CAF or CPAM or if all else fails try talking to local women and best of all your Mairie’s office. The secretary should be able to help you find out what to do, if she is sympathetic. They are there for that not just construction permits!

I wish you al the best and please feel free to ask me anything or just to chat. I was very alone when I was pregnant and a new mother and could have done with someone to talk to.

Wish you and your bump all the best :slight_smile:
Christina

There are many benefits that you can claim as well…the ‘prime’ for being pregnant is paid out 3 times, I think, I didn’t qualify as I had not conceived on French soil! But go to your local CAF to find out your rights on this. The French state believes in helping women have babies!

22

Well I’m into the 4th month now and feeling much more energetic. I still have a strong desire to sleep after lunch but my 1 year old doesn’t always want to nap straight away so by the time she goes down I’m on a second wind!

I’ve had 2 scans so far (first one was the 12 week normal scan) second was due to a little blip - I’d been overdoing it somewhat with a 1 year old’s birthday party…so here is the lesson ladies - Rest when you need to! Do some surfing for the gorgeous things you can get for your little one…

Hubbie is saying things like ‘well we won’t need to buy much this time’ and I’m saying well actually I have a list of the things I wished I’d had first time round…that’s shattered his illusions of saving the maternity allowance! Ha Ha!

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23

Ditto that!

Annie,I hope it’s starting to make some sense to you over here now, I have had one baby in the UK and one in France and the French experience was by far the best…

All the best

24

Have just had a quick read of it - I remember telling my gynae about being tired, sick etc and he would always reply glibly, 'c’est normal - vous etes enceinte… et a votre age!!! Very unsympathetic - although he was really nice and when we had a couple of problems he was amazing and I will always be grateful to him.

25

Don’t worry, it gets easier after the first trimestre, you feel great in the middle, it does get hard again towards the end because of the extra weight you are carrying. But chill, it’s hard work growing a whole new person, put your feet up and take advantage of every bit of help on offer. I think age makes a difference too, I’m 44 and my kids are only 3 and 5 and the mere thought of being pregnant again wears me out!

26

Here is another link about pregnancy

27

Hi Annie - here is a link to Living France, and there are two articles about having a baby, plus some useful vocabulary.
Congratulations by the way!
Hope you find it useful
Helen

28

Crikey - I’m tired already and having the odd afternoon nap - don’t tell me its going to get worse! I’m having to ration the naps tho, I think they’re making me even more tired. It doesn’t help when the weather’s so miserable too. I hope you begin to feel more human soon Lorraine.

Suzanne, thanks for the recommendation - I have just bought it from Amazon. Hopefully it’ll make everything a whole load easier!

29

Unplug the phones, lock the door and go to bed. I could never get through pregnancy without retreating to bed during the day and I’m normally a very energetic person. xx

30

Hi Annie

Its not a pregnancy one but we can recommend The Glossary of Medical, Health & Pharmacy terms (French English & English French) by A S Lindsey, you can find it at two of our UK Bookstores on www.UK4Me.co.uk for about £12. Compare the delivery & prices to see which is cheapest.

We’ve found this invaluable! I recommend making a list of pregnancy related words so that you are familiar with them before your appointment.

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31

I’m glad I’m not the only one then who’s been sneaking the occasional glass of wine - surely one vice is allowed! But being the sober one is wearing quite thin now, at first I was enjoying the foolery, and the smug no hangovers, but now its just a little tedious. I hope I’m not going to become a bore!

On another note - does anyone know of/have some sort of pregnancy english/french dictionary? I just wanted to have something so that there wouldn’t be any communication problems further on down the line. I’ve had a very quick look on line and not found anything yet, I’ll keep looking, but I thought I’d ask.

Thank you!

32

I had two out of three on the 24th and 26th Dec and got soooo pissed off with being surrounded with drunken revellers. With the boxing day baby, I went into labour about 10pm on Christmas day and got very snappy with my nearest and dearest. I remember removing their glasses and telling them ‘it was time to go home’! Must have been a bit hormonal…!

33

And Me! I have to say it gets easier, especially after you’ve been pregnant for a while & then with breastfeeding you just get used to not drinking. I have the odd half glass every now & then but I make sure it’s a good bottle so I’m not wasting my ‘wine allowance’. I remember Christmas at the inlaws was really a struggle at mealtimes as they had wine every night with a meal & I had to stop after a few nights as I felt too guilty. Some of the mummy forums can make you feel terrible. Just relax & do what you think is right.

Same with parenting, lots of books with widely differing viewpoints, I mixed & matched & my little one eats well, sleeps well, is very alert & happy. So I’m happy!

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34

Me too! And I have three non brain damaged children to prove it…I think people can get far too uptight about everything so my advice is everything in moderation, relax and enjoy!! And congratulations C x

35

Hi Annie,

I also found the not drinking very difficult - especially when I found out on Jan 5th (my birthday is Dec 29th as well, so Christmas had been very alcoholic). I stayed of the wine at first, then decided the stress was too much as I was so nervous about being pregnant that I decided to just have one small glass of wine, each evening with my meal. So I had a glass of Chablis or Sancerre with my dinner every evening and thoroughly enjoyed it. Not that I am recommending it, it’s just something that worked for my and my conscience (both times).

36

Thanks for all the advice so far. After the initial shock I think I’ve calmed down quite a bit! I decided to take the bull by the horns and went to the hospital last week with my blood test results. The very lovely, patient and kind receptionist has made me a rdv for a scan and an appointment with a gyno (who I hope will speak some English!) for June, and assured me that its normal to wait all this time. So, there’s not really much more I can do, apart from getting on and do what I do. I suppose I was expecting a long list of things/foods that were forbidden, but no one’s mentioned anything. I have been reading loads on the internet - there’s a site called mumsnet which has been quite helpful, but you’re right Tracy, there seems to be so much conflicting information and advice, so I’ve decided to try not to read too much as its all too confusing! I have to admit tho, I am struggling with the no drinking, especially as we’ve family and friends out at the moment, and I’m convinced someone is going to notice and say something!

Thanks again, and I’m sure I’ll be back when the next worry springs into my head!

37

Hello and congratulations to all you mums to be - one lovely thing about being a new mum in France is that you are referred to as a ‘jeune maman’ (young mum) and as I had my kids at 39 and 41, it used to really pick me up if I was having a bad day.
Take a look at the blog spot below, one of my colleagues wrote it and it has lots of relevant, up to date information.

http://having-a-baby-in-france.blogspot.com/

Bear in mind though that like everything else, things can be so different in different parts of the country. What’s not so different though is that you will have myriad amounts of paperwork to complete.

There’s also lots of information available at babycentre.co.uk, they have a Parents in France section that’s really helpful.

You will find that in France you will sometimes receive conflicting advice to the stuff you have read in English - DON’T stress about this like I did - just pick what seems the most relevant/sensible advice to you, ultimately both the Brits and the French have healthy babies. My little ones are 5 and 3 now and survive well on French eating habits and British bedtime routines (hee hee, in bed at 7.30pm every night)

All the best,
Tracy

38

Hi Annie

Your Medecin will probably give you a list of dates when you need to do things by which should organise you a bit & make you feel more in control of what happens next.

For choosing a gyne - ask your Medecin who he/she recommends and if they know of an English speaking one. I had my baby at the local hospital but you can go to private clinics too Ii chose the hospital as it has reanimation for the mother & the baby which our private clinic didn’t.

I’ve just sent off my declaration de grossesse to CAF & my RSI/RAM in France which I think means they should send me a load of information about the french system. I also contacted my private insurance who as sent me a consent form for them to contact my medecin in case they need to, but as before I expect they will reimburse most fees including the hospital stay.

When I was on the UK system I had to obtain a form from the Department of Work/Pensions giving permission for me to have the baby in France (covered by EU rules) sorry I assumed you were UK in my earlier response, just as that was my experience.

Feel free to ask any further questions and I’ll share my thoughts/experiences.

Lorraine,I wish I’d known about LLL for my first…I struggled a bit at first as my little one didn’t feed much but I persisted for 9 months and really enjoyed the experience.

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39

Hi Suzanne,

congratulations to you too!

I think all the blood (and urine) samples I had taken yesterday were for all those things you’ve listed. They said at the lab that I could pick up the results, and that they would send them to the doctor as well. From everthing I’ve gleaned from the internet over the past couple of days it seems that its up to me to organize everything.

I’m not registered in France, so I’m having to liase with my insurance, who are being quite helpful, but I think what I really wanted was for someone else to take charge and tell me who to go and see, and when!

I guess I’ll go and get the results and get the confirmation that I am pregnant, and then maybe make another appointment with the doctor? He already asked me where I wanted the baby, and gave me 3 possible places, so I’m not sure whether to just go straight to the hospital and find a gyno there. Or maybe I’m just stressing about it a little too much! I’m not sure I’d be any better in the UK tho!

40

Hi Annie

Firstly congratulations. I had my first baby in France last year and I’m now expecting my second in November.
The Ante-natal care I received was first class!

Generally you have the first appointment where they take all sorts of tests for everything from Toxoplasmosis immunity (found in raw meat, cat poo etc and if you are not immune then it’s harmful if you catch it during your pregnancy for the baby), HIV, Rubella, Blood Count levels, determine your blood group and lots more. If you are not immune to Toxo then you will probably have monthly blood tests throughout your pregnancy like I did! You also do monthly urine samples to check for sugar & protein (some rare cases of pregnancy diabetes can occur).

At 12 weeks you will have the first Echographie (Ultrasound), they will probably measure the nuque fluid which is the fluid behind the babies neck and a newish technique to check for Downs Syndrome. Around the 14/15th week you may be offered the Trisomie test which is a blood test to check for Downs Syndrome. I had all these & no problems.

After the first 3 months you will probably be asked where you want to have the baby and then be referred to a gynecologist to see for monthly checkups, mine was lovely. Around 7 months I saw a freelance midwife for preparation classes & around 8 months I had a visit to the hospital to look around.

Lots of medical care in France & you typically have 3 Echos, 1 at 12 weeks, 1 at 20 weeks & 1 at 32 weeks (not common in UK the 32nd week but great as you can really see your baby). I had 4 because my little girl was petite so they did another at 36 weeks in 3D…excellent view of her.

Are you registered on the French Social Security or English? The paperwork is different depending on which one. I’ve done both.

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