Yeah looked at it once to take caravan! Just once!!!
To be honest I enjoy the drive - its like our Mways 20 years ago!
TBH very very occasionally, probably 3 times in 30+ years, DFDS have made a right hash of exiting cars from the ferry (twice) and failing to load promptly (1 time). The mess of these few very, very delayed exits only included cars. As it seems the whole boat is really loaded around the needs of trucks. Cargo seems to be their regular reliable money. We always felt private cars were second to that and just extra ballast for the boat.
If thereās going to be any slight delay on exiting then youāll be prime target if on loading, they made you drive onto the section of the floor that is then lifted up to make an extra floor with cars including yours, parked on it. Then they park another layer of cars below on the actual floor.
I observe the cars further ahead of me carefully as they are directed to park and unfortunately by accident once or twice I may have just followed the car in front blindly and parked on the floor behind them if Iāve not seen i could have been directed to the area which will later be lifted.
Occasionally the lowering of the lifted-up floor of vehicles was a bit delayed if they had to mess around with the floor lowering mechanism. Or if some other problem while everybody else exits below meant they couldnāt lower the floor to make the exit ramp till the boat had emptied. Those āmezzanineā floors also require you to drive a particular hard turn route to exit. As to exit the floor is basically lowered to a 40-45 degree ramp you have to position to top of then drive down on only 1 side - just one car at a time as thereās not much space on the ramp theyāve made you all park on.
Motorbikes seem not to be affected by this though as either parked right by the exit doors or on the first vehicle floor to leave as they must be secured only where the floor bolts and straps are on the boat.
I simply refuse to use Dover itās too big and there are too many delays.
Every time Iāve crossed Dieppe-Newhaven with my motorbike, itās been secured in a very nifty āover centreā wheel lock. You just drive in and it locks into place. Itās further secured with ratchet straps. If there are a lot of bikes then the first few (8???) get the fancy locks and the remainder have to rest on their stands - again with ratchet straps over the saddles to prevent movement.
Ditto. And normally the crew will install the tie down ratchet straps for you, with a pad to protect the seat.
Better than some ferries where they just leave a pile of straps lying about and expect you to secure the bike yourself.
I always struggle with ratchet straps. (no bondage jokes please 
)
Despite my numerous crossings on this route I only ever did it a few times with a lorry, and that was way back in the early '70s I think and we were the only British lorry drivers on it, all the rest being Spanish and Portuguese.
My brother and I did it several times with our 2 trucks carrying 2 giant lumps each of aluminium from S. Wales to Neuf Brisach in Alsace. In the days before autoroutes it was a fast night run on N and D roads and, desperate for a meal we passed through a small village, all dark and shuttered out and passed loads of lorries parked on the pavements both sides. I called on the CB to bro and said āthereās bound to be something here Iāll pull in at the first spaceā. Then we walked back in the dark 'till we spotted a lighted door. It was like an oasis in the desert and we entered to a bright light and a long table and multiple conversations. After a brilliant meal and lots of new friends we retraced our steps and continued to destination. 
Not sure I can find it now, but in the intervening years it has been by-passed twice, first by an N route and then by an A one.
Baccarat, and my memory played tricks, only by-passed by the N 59 
Back in the day when it was Transmanche ferries. I know what you mean David, pulled into a truck stop and the deep unseen ruts caused by many trucks almost tore my suspension off 
I only had ratchet straps put over mine in the area near to the exit door - no other equipment and fortunately done and undone by them for me.
Iām in the north of the Vienne, north-west of Poitiers. I always use Newhaven-Dieppe and quite like the Chartres - Tours route as it seems to have far fewer roundabouts to slow down for than the Le Mans route.
Thatās where you have to gamble on finding a space?
If youāre prepared to use Dover for a vehicle crossing DFDS has a summer offer. I received it as a French customer so it seems to work from either side of the.channel.
Ā£20 voucher to spend onboard for a return booking.
Ā£150 spend in duty free shop gets you a free day trip.
50% off their onboard Premium Lounge.
A kids eat free deal.
Not offered on Dieppe. Just Dover.
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And thereās the snag. 
But a useful offer none the less if you like that route.
Iād be wary of the wheel lock devices as I have spoked wheels! I remember years of going to the TT though when all the bikes were very cleverly secured on side stands with ropes. This after a licensed bandit had pumped out most of your fuel!
Theyāre well designed and only grip the tyres so spokes are safe 
Thatās the worry - all the weight of the bike is on the spokes of the front wheel in a sideways plane.
Last time I was on a ferry and used the front wheel gripper it wasnāt very rigid and my bike was still able to lean on its side-stand.
Also the crew put a pad on the seat and then a big tie-down strap over that anchored to the deck on each side.
So I think unless a hurricane hit the Channel your bike would be pretty safe even if you are a spokesperson.
But usually on DFDS at least there are only a few front wheel clamps so some bikes just get the tie-down treatment in an area between the car lanes. So you could ask for your bike to be secured that way if concerned.
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