I thought Bill Clinton’s eulogy was distinctly creepy, and the young lady who wailed that operatic aria went on much longer than necessary. What Aretha herself would have thought about is anybody’s guess. Gold-plated casket? I think not. She was, I think, a Baptist, like Bill (not Bill-with-Goose ). A favourite Baptist hymn, “Just as I am, without one plea… I come O Lord, I come”.
But that’s show-biz, any opportunity for the great-and-good and assorted minor celebs to show off, get in the glossies, a million retweets, and so to turn a tidy buck.
I see a Bishop participating in the funeral service got a little too close to one of the main singers, it reminded me of the Fawlty Towers sketch where Basil was feeling for the light switch in a guest bedroom -
Your post has got me thinking again Stella …I remember reading some time back about the fast turnaround and thinking it was a possibility that in the event of my sudden demise that I could be dead and buried before any of my family had chance to get here…My family know I would hate to be buried…I’ve also told them not to go to any expense or hassle to repatriate my body and it’s fine if I’m cremated here…Not answering my phone 3 or 4 times a day would be their first inkling that something may have happened…
Your post also got me searching for the nearest crematorium…it’s just over an hour away…but I’ve also been reminded that as yet there is no one in Brittany has the contact numbers of my family…
It’s OK Helen… “they” won’t rush you away without checking with your Family…if they can… so it would be a good idea to ensure that contacts are known… perhaps your closest neighbour or a good friend.
We had a heck of a job when a local chap died unexpectedly, without leaving any contacts… the Mairie and I… we put our thinking caps on… and dredged Google etc etc…and I am pleased to say that it was my ignorance of how to spell certain French names … that led to a distant cousin being located… phew…
Mam was pretty open, I sat on Grans bed as She took Her last breath, I was about 8, then I was lucky enough to be with both Mam an Dad as they died, may sound strange, but it provided a sense of real finality, and shortened the grieving, a bit, I think.
The French recognise the powerful relationship between death and sex in the term petite mort to describe orgasm. This relationship has been described down the ages and across cultures, and may explain how the Bishop was so moved at Aretha’s funeral, and why the young chanteuse who was fondled was so revealing and erotic in her final tribute to her muse.
Not at all strange, Bill. As a child, your innocent presence might well have been what your Gran needed to ‘let go’ and leave the mortal coil.
Hospice workers learn that, like all goodbyes and farewells, there is a time to turn away, and not look back. Sometimes, it seems, the dying person is ready, but waits for a signal from those around them that they are ready too. It’s more a signal from the heart than from the lips, I find.
Some dying people can only let go when others leave the room, to go to the loo or put the kettle on! Just as many animals creep away into the forest or the undergrowth to breath their last - alone.
In my own experience as a hospice worker, it’s a very individual thing, and one’s intuitions should be a guide to sensitive action, rather than one’s anxieties.
Puts me in mind of the Scott expedition to the pole, the Ross Ice Shelf camp, and Captain Lawrence “Titus” Oates’ famous farewell, “I am just going outside, I may be some time…”.
I was thinking that I might put together some, I guess they were called ‘death boxes’ or something like that. I read about these somewhere…
Sounds crass, maybe, that phrase: death box…
But it’s basically something thoughtful to put together for each family member, to be given to each after one has passed. The box is meant to contain small things reflecting good special memories, objects as gifts that would be nice for the recipient to have and be a comfort/remembrance. I like this idea, since it would be small, personalized, and if I take time to put these things together, it might actually sum up the good things and leave good thoughts… I’ve not always been on good terms with my immediate family… Probably a bit egotistical, if I think of it in one way - as I would then be affecting the loved one’s memory of me… But, if I did it right, took time, and didn’t overdo the sentiment, could be nice. If I manage to make just one, that’s good but will try to make one for each sibling at least, if not for each niece and nephew.
Not sure I even want a funeral, come to think on it. I’ll probably be far away from everyone anyway. Things like death boxes and funerals are for the living. Best to look forward, I guess… We all have to shed the mortal coil and not good to regret. Easier said than done
). A favourite Baptist hymn, “Just as I am, without one plea… I come O Lord, I come”.
so it would be a good idea to ensure that contacts are known… perhaps your closest neighbour or a good friend.
