It is sad, when some people refuse, year after year, to accept an official invitation from their Chief Magistrate…
Attending is polite… one does not have to stay long…some do “drop by” say a swift hello and then leave… fair enough.
LOL reminds me of the miserable buggers we used to go and invite personally to the yearly répas des anciens and they would ask for the equivalent in money instead. They got a box of biscuits and some coffee so it was their loss at what, I thoroughly enjoyed getting pissed with those oldies who certainly could hold their drink and a tune or two. I don’t socialise here apart from immediate family and some of their friends as I feel like a fish out of water considering the difference in the culture locally and what I was used to of 33 years previously. Everyone to their own!
1 Like
hereabouts, this Repas (just into the New Year) was the one time when a special effort was made by the Maire and his Team… to bring together all the oldies who were otherwise housebound…
It was great to see their smiles when, on entering the Salle, they might spot an old pal and/or someone they’d lost touch with through infirmity etc…
Those “Old Folk” are mostly gone now… used to have several over 100 years old… but no longer…
and now, it depends on age… over 75’s get a free meal OR a Bag of delicious local products…
Under 75’s pay the rate for the meal… if they want to attend.
As the meal is always delicious and good value, we do get quite a few “youngsters” paying their way…
Oldies in an OFolks Home… who don’t want the Repas… get special goodies, suitable to their situation.
1 Like
… must have been thirsty…
When I was conseiller municipal we always got invited to the annual oldies meal, normally early December. TBH, the food was generally awful but we used to enjoy the “fights” over the home made apple crumble and the cheddar we brought. I thought I could drink, but I was got very very drunk once (wasn’t my fault 
) and slipped off my chair under the table.
4 Likes
If a person gets to know me they soon find out that I do not socialise for its own sake and I do not enjoy large gatherings, partly because my hearing is not good. Dinner party invitations get politely declined. However if a person happens to share my interests eg hiking or theatre I will happily go out for a day or evening with them. But the idea that someone might “like me and want to meet me” for no particular reason, and therefore it would be rude of me not to comply does not gel with me. I assume that people go to social events becauuse they get pleasure from it. I do not. I am always civil to people and I consider myself polite. However I feel that being expected to waste hous of my life making a significant effort to follow conversations with people I have little in common with, when there are other people I could be with and other things I could be doing with pleasure, seems to me to be turning politeness into an imposition. If people cannot understand that and consider me impolite, I am sorry.
5 Likes
Thankfully, we use a local business… and the SdF has an excellent kitchen facility for them to show off their skills…
we’ve a few businesses to choose from… but each year, the “chosen one” does us all proud. 
I totally get those points - I am the same where big gatherings are concerned - one of the business networking groups I go to here in the UK regularly has 20+ attendees in a fairly small room, and I find it hard to follow conversations because of the noise levels.
But I do make an effort to go because although I am happy with my own company a lot of the time, I also need a bit of social interaction occasionally!
But of course it’s up to the individual to decide what is comfortable for them. It’s not an “all or nothing” situation.
I think the general thrust of this thread is perhaps to encourage Brits in France to be part of their local world to the extent that suits them, and to do so in a way that is open and respectful of French culture, rather than purely being in an Anglo bubble.
Just my dix centimes!
4 Likes
I live in an Anglo bubble of three - two humans and a dog. 
1 Like
Yes that is true, I guess I took things too personally.
We are fortunate in that having lived in France for most of our lives, worked and raised a family here, we have all the support network we need so the suggestion that we should be going out and meeting new people seemed faintly ridiculous. When we arrived we had work colleagues and social obligations thrust upon us. We were in an international environment but not an expat bubble, we know hardly any Brits. So we were never in the position of actively looking for ways to “integrate”, it was rather the opposite, trying to ringfence our private space.
Frankly I cannot imagine moving to a new country as a retiree not knowing anyone. I do not think I could do it, I do not think I would want to. Hats off to those who do.
3 Likes
My bottom was always sore from sitting for more than six hours so plenty of wine did help. I have a photo of my old commune taken in 2004 with everyone who lived there in the photo (except for the ones who refused) and I look at it most days as its large and framed andhangs on the wall and then I see who is no longer with us, gets quite maudlin.
And of course it depends where you live.
We live in a town with several thousand inhabitants. They would not all fit onto one photograph or indeed into one salle de fêtes at the same time.
1 Like
Us too although Alfie has an EU passport, born in France to an English mother and French father. He is also multi lingual!
1 Like
when we arrived, we were the only Brits and I think the total number of inhabitants for the commune was around 350… men, women, dogs, cats and mice
ah… sounds a different sort of “do”…
for our one, the “Diners” are encouraged to dance while the next course is being cooked…
of course, some/many can’t dance nowadays, but just enjoy the spectacle of others having a go… all in fun of course…
but, yes, the alcohol level was quite a shock in the early days… I’m used to it now and know how to craftily hide my glass…
Irony though?
https://www.survivefrance.com/about
As for snobbery, unfortunately that exists in every walk of life. Snobs are a source of amusement. Think Hyacinth Bucket or John Cleese and the Two Ronnies. It’s Sunday. Kick back and relax. Have a drink and love your fellow man and all his faults and failings. It the dark nights. We’ll all be miserable enough until the end of March.
There’s integration and integration. I’ve been here for over 40 years. I speak French as well as any Frenchman, albeit with a very slight accent, and have a total grasp of the finest points of French grammar. I am reasonable well up on French history, politics, and culture. I go to the local pub and converse with whoever wants to chat, as I would in the UK.
I lived over 20 of those years in a small south-IdF village. When we arrived, we were welcomed with open arms and made many friends, and several good friends. However, to the others in the village, after those 20 years, we were still “les anglais”; in an village disagreement it was still “toi, l’anglais, tais-toi et rentre chez toi”.
And I have to admit that, despite all the years, my watching of French TV is now limited to the 8pm news on France2. The rest of the time I watch UK TV. Not for the language but because I’m fed up with the abysmal quality of French TV - toutes chaînes confondues!
1 Like
Why would anybody respond to an English language thread in another language? What language would you recommend?
But anyway, you got to air a couple of chips on your shoulder so that’s good 
4 Likes
I think we ended up with Albanian in another thread. 
1 Like
Perfect example of one reason we ran away from the UK. Instead of ‘bonsoir mes dames/messieurs’ we were greeted with ‘OK guys? What you avin?’