Would you choose to end your days in France?

[Helenochka]

Stop it!

[Gareth]

Sorry for your loss, @Wozza

[Porridge]

@Helenochka

There’s a lot of crap behaviour here in the city and it feels like it’s getting worse but that could just be us getting old and curmudgeonly. It’s little things, like people not stepping aside on the pavement to let others past. Even if they see you’re carrying something bulky.

I think it depends on the size of the commune, here and in the UK. I’ve been surprised by the kindness of people - who hold the door open, for example, when you’re carrying a big box - but I don’t know if expect that in Paris or London. Kirkby Stephen, or Dent would be different.

Or, indeed, a

@Helenochka

little house by the sea in N. Ireland

Maybe it’s all about the language, in the end.

I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

[Ancient_Mariner]

@Helenochka

It’s little things, like people not stepping aside on the pavement to let others past. Even if they see you’re carrying something bulky. Or riding two-a-breast in their cycle lane even when they see you coming for miles in the other lane. And I’m not talking about “oiks” to borrow a term used earlier in this thread. These are prosperous middle-class French people

I haven’t seen this in the UK, not even central London in recent years, but it was normal in Copenhagen: in one place on a pavement we moved into single file to allow the group ahead space, and they walked right up to us, almost into us before reluctantly reducing the amount of space they occupied. In crowded spaces we could see groups bumping into each other.

[Ancient_Mariner]

Sorry to hear of your friend. These things can surprise us sometimes, even when we know it happens.

[SuePJ]

@Helenochka

the whole palaver of organising a move was just too daunting.

Again, I think it’s about facing it before the moment when it has to be done and looking at the implications.
For one of us, the departure from France will be a challenge in terms of the sheer quantity of “stuff” we have. But I’ve realised it’s not THAT tough. We each have our own sets of books (and even mine I hardly look at these days, it’s all online) He has all of his CDs - they will all go. And rather than think about what needs to be got rid of, we will turn that on its head and say “what must I absolutely keep and can’t bear to part with” (surprisingly little). And there are professional companies to do it for us.

@Helenochka

Even after all this time my husband’s understanding of spoken French is appalling and he’s incapable of dealing with anything involving French admin. Beyond possibly booking the van in for a service.
So think I better take him back to the UK at some point because, from a purely practical standpoint, he couldn’t cope here if I keeled over.

Exactly. Except he will be able to go on his own, because we have talked about it. Just one thing I realise we haven’t talked about. If I die here and am cremated I would like if possible for him to take my ashes back to the UK (I wonder if that’s possible?) There is the most beautiful crematorium outside Leatherhead and my parents are there and my brother is scattered in Wakehurst. I need to makes some enquiries.

[Stella]

@SuePJ

If I die here and am cremated I would like if possible for him to take my ashes back to the UK (I wonder if that’s possible?

yes, it is !
I’ve personally dealt with this before and we’ve talked about it on SF.

[hairbear]

@SuePJ

we will turn that on its head and say “what must I absolutely keep and can’t bear to part with” (surprisingly little).

If it came to it, for myself, I could fit all I really needed into a medium sized car quite easily I think. Some clothes, telescope and mount, a few assorted gewgaws with memories and a handful of other things. That would probably do for me.

[Shiba]

Just as I discovered too! Who in their right mind would go back there to concrete, poverty,no friends nor decent neighbours and be afraid to speak in case you upset one of these irritating woke people.

[JaneJones]

@SuePJ

would like if possible for him to take my ashes back to the UK (I wonder if that’s possible?)

Yes. A slight amount of obfuscation needed as not supposed to keep them in your house, but you can be given them to disperse in nature. I had that bringing my mother’s ashes in, and she was whisked through eurostar security and is now sat on my desk waiting for dispersion.

(Which will happen once I can get her to Nice)

[Stella]

I think it was only last year that we had an elderly Brit die, cremated in Dordogne and the family wanted her ashes back in the UK.
I got the official form from our Mairie, had it completed, signed etc etc… and all systems go!

Her daughter took Mum back to UK…

hurrah!

[oldbutnonthewiser]

@Shiba

Just as I discovered too! Who in their right mind would go back there to concrete, poverty,no friends nor decent neighbours and be afraid to speak in case you upset one of these irritating woke people.

Sentiments I also share.

[Carl]

You sound like my brother, he used to post spurious Trump like social media links to immigrants taking over the UK and even goes on anti immigration marches in London. Thankfully, we don’t talk anymore!
I go to SE England regularly to visit children and grandchildren and don’t recognise the picture you paint, but my brother would wholeheartedly agree with you.

[JaneJones]

@Helenochka

but by that time the whole palaver of organising a move was just too daunting.

It is daunting! I’ve given myself 9 months to be able to sort through with reflection and let go of things carefully. I don’t want to get in Emmaus in a rush to throw everything in a lorry and dump it!
Just about everything in the house (and garden) has a memory/person attached to it.

Yesterday I opened the cupboard with my grandmother’s copper fondu set. Lovey thing over 100 years old that she brought with her from Germany in the 30’s (why?). I make fondu very rarely, so will I ever use it again? So need to find a respectful new home for it somehow.

[Helenochka]

Sue, so your husband’s problem is with SPOKEN French?
Mine can talk the hind leg of a donkey and would have had no problem in France 20 years ago when you could go to an office to sort stuff out. But these days, as you’ve probably noticed, practically everything is moving online. Which is where my husband comes completely unstuck.

[JaneJones]

@oldbutnonthewiser

Sentiments I also share.

If you want to continue to have a big debate about this issue in the UK please start another thread. This is not appropriate her and a bit disrespectful. You have made your point so now stop please as you are proving the accuracy of your user name.

[SuePJ]

@Helenochka

Sue, so your husband’s problem is with SPOKEN French?

Partly deafness, but also one of those people who needs to understand every single word someone is saying and then process it. If he doesn’t understand a word in a spoken sentence he gets stuck thinking that through and loses what follows. Reading he can do, because he can spend as long as he likes getting to grips with it and there is always Deepl.

[Shiba]

Yes and as we all know, a tiny slip in french grammar can result in big problems. At least with the spoken word, you can gesticulate at same time and see how people react!

[David_M_Matthews]

On my most recent visit to London and the south east I was pleasantly surprised to see how many people of European origin were living there but they were all speaking English, from the Spanish woman who dealt with my enquiry at HSBC in Canary Wharf through those I heard while travelling on public transport talking to their friends or to their children to my daughter’s colleagues. I was more concerned on my visit to Dover Castle as I had been on a visit to the London Museum a couple of years ago that there was no obvious support for non-English speakers.

[oldbutnonthewiser]

I have known several who have had their ashes returned back to the UK