You come across as having principles. No bad thing! But yes, it is very difficult when the other halves of loved family members aren't pleasant people but they come as a package.
Good grief. Those people weren't friends.
Hope your OH recovered well.
We keep a supply in of the Ambre Solaire and if any guest has anything other then that we trade it for ours and use theirs when we go away somewhere else where there is no pool liner like we did when went to Morocco in October last year. And, for the record P20 new or not made our pool liner go green but we managed to get it off in time just before it got encrusted. Hasten to add it is most def banned! Use a magic sponge to keep your waterline clear, it works a treat. We used from day one when our liner was replaced everyday, it is 5 years old and still like new!
Nope, no rules. Just live and let live. Quite relaxed really.
Your 'Don't turn up unannounced and complain if no-one is in.' is one to remember. I had it happen to me, pre-email but phones were around even then. A friend who had gone to live in New York was en route to Geneva, which UN employees often do. He has most of his family in London so usually stopped off to see them. However, he had booked in the three day space as usual but having missed me whilst I was in New York, decided to get on the link bus from LHR to Cambridge, call me to be picked up and have a pint whilst he waited. I didn't answer the phone and my OH was not in, so eventually he hailed a taxi. When he arrived he was just lucky enough to meet our dog walker leaving. She told him there was nobody at home until later but also, not knowing him, said that she could not let him in. That would have been 1630 to 1700 as a rule. My OH arrived and found him asleep on the doorstep, the pints had got the better of him. She kind of remembered his face, having met him for less than half an hour once, so woke him up and asked what he was doing there. He said he had come to visit me. I was in the Lebanon right then, in fact was with two colleagues from his bit of the UN. Anyway, he was given a sofa for the night and despatched next morning.
Apart from that, the beer had got the better of him. He had left his luggage in the pub so had to recover it after leaving my house. His case was there but briefcase gone. The papers in it were no security or confidentiality risk but without them the work he was going to do in Geneva was going to be impossible.
As I eventually got to say to him, never spring surprise visits on people who have an international job and make sure nobody did it to him for the same reason. I think he might have taken that seriously, at least he never tried a surprise visit again though.
Oh Zoë if it wasn't so gross I would find myself falling off my chair laughing. What a klutz.
My bro-in-law and his partner are gay, so what? I am more than disturbed by my OH's uncle who is an emeritus bishop who has tried to bless our daughters on the quiet a couple of times, not that he would ever be our guest anyway.
Guests, well that is a hard one. There are one or two people who visit who as much as we dearly love them are so incompetent that we would not let them put out spoons when laying the table, let alone do anything at all whilst staying. Then we have others who get up almost as early as I do but fill the cafetières and such useful things for the others who follow, even finish last night's washing up, go for a walk or whatever. Just about everything in between.
The ones we do not wish on ourselves are those who stay in bed until midday and then look pleadingly at the table as if we would magic out a spread of food, then want to know what WE are doing that afternoon. 'Hey, we are working, go do something...' shocks them but then they do nothing and then get under foot. The first stay when they are getting to know the place is fine but subsequently, no way José!
Actual rules, to answer the question, no chance there because people are all different and rules need to be consistent and undifferentiated.
She is very attached to her sister. to ALL her family actually, so when they come, anything goes, and we bend our lives and working hours around them. Well she does, I generally try to be at work MORE, so that I don't have to see them. OH has mentioned to her sister that he either puts up, or shuts up, but I think the sister is too weak to tell her boyfriend that she disagrees with his principles. Nobody seems to want to rock the boat, and I'm the one who always ends up coming across as "desagreable".
I have been tempted, Barbara, but Other Half is very attached to her sister, and even though we all agree her boyfriend is a complete tosser, she doesn't want to rock the boat.... true to French form.
One day, I will snap, don't worry.
From me....Barbara..
Being a dog person is good.
But not liking cats is not comfortable for me.
So if you are a dog person, is that OK? :)
mornin
In Zoes case I am afraid it would be bon voyage dearest brother.
How selfish and, of course small minded.
A few years back a family of friends came to visit us for a few days
and we hired a car ....a people carrier in order to get us all around.
We did, of course drive them around too and prepared some meals
in the house. They bought us a lunch.
But I recently asked for a little help....
AND got refused, Can I feel the same way about them again? Not easy.
All my friends like cats.
Not sure if I like people who do not like animals.
Infact.....no not possible for me.What sort of world would it
be without animal friends.
Can't understand why you still allow OH's brother in law through the door Zoe? If any homophobic, racist, sexist or any other comments that are normally not acceptable in our house were used, the users would be told once, maybe, or even shown the door immediately. There's enough decent people in the world than to have to put up with such s~#t!
What does your partner say to said bloke?
Very sound. We belong to cats like that.
Our omly rule is that they look after themselves! If they want something help themselves, luckily we have never had anyone taking advantage, unlike friends of ours who have one couple who come for two weeks every year, eat them out of house and home, spend forty five minutes in the shower so there’s no hot water for anyone else, drink all their booze and never once put their hands in their pockets! And she still lets them come, more fool her, i know what I’d tell them to do!
hahaha - I'll remember that one...totally brill... :)
Usually if someone is untolerable in one way, they will usually go the whole how and have what I like to call TAS... Total ASS Syndrome
Oh my goodness. Extraordinary lengths to go to & what a nasty mind he must have. Isn't he worried they'll all catch gayness just by being in your house (or is he just demonstrating to other people what a marvellous modern open-minded type he is...)?
Mind you the aforementioned ex s-i-l & indeed her parents were VERY concerned & vocal about the gayness of some of my children's godparents for the same reasons as your OH's b-i-l's bed business....
When OH announces they're coming, I feel like duct taping the front door shut!, lol. They visited with their kids about a month ago, and instead of letting them sleep in separate rooms, he made them all sleep (all five of them) in the same room, in a double bed..... because you know, all gay people are pedophiles.
I actually don't know how I tolerate him, and can't understand why I've not already put my foot down, and said they're no longer welcome. He is a spectacular asshole.