Son: “Dad, we’re learning about prisms at school. They’re fascinating.”
Dad: “That’s good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, you’re bound to end
up in one.”
Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few
days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar
diabetes.”
Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned
myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD.
Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that’s when it all
kicked off!
An Irishman wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You
must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum" he replied
"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?"
"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?"
"That’s easy" he said "Popeye stopped them!!"
Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the
> school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking
part!!"
Man walks into WH Smith and says "Do you have the new self-help book for men
with really small dicks?"
Girl says "I don’t think it’s in yet"
He replies "Yeah, that’s the one!"
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are
busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the
head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old
escort".
The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated,
and the wife has gone off to her mother.
:-D