For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write âSpaghettiâ on the back.
He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey, 'she said, âYou received a very strange post card today.â
âOh, just give it to me and Iâll explain it later,â he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three, with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce !!!
Free to a good home. Sooty, Sweep and Sue glove puppets.
No cash wanted, I just want to get them off my hands.
Sad news.
I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out i was seeing another woman, Claire Lee.
Good news.
I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine has gone.
Serves him rightâŚ!
Knitting anyone�
Amusing, but has a tale to tellâŚ
Bonnybridge
We are just back from having our Scottish wedding reception in Cumbernauld after getting married at our home in France, we still have a house in Condorrat so not that far away from you.
I will add mum to the heading! I say those regularly!!
Must admit, I was lol reading through that lot 
echoes of so many people beautifully captured
Me too.
A British tourist visits a brothel in America.
Craig, a middle-aged British tourist on his first visit to California finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, âNo!â and walks quickly away.
The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and itâs not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Craig.
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap.
He whispers in her ear and she screams, âNO WAY, BUDDY!â and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.
Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasnât done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but sheâs sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.
So she goes over to Craig and says that sheâs the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.
He leans forwards and whispers in her ear, âCan I pay in Pounds?â
Iâve come across a Quora joke involving Stormy Daniels and the Queen, but not sure if I should post it. It involves the Pearly Gates, a large bosom and the Queenâs astute response.
Made me chuckle.
Word document downloadâŚ
The pearly gatesâŚdocx (13.2 KB)
An innuendo is actually an Italian suppository (Spike Milligan RIP)
Dud coin, Charles faces to the left on the new coins!
Yes, I did spot the earđ¤Ł