You have to have followed the Olympics opening ceremony for this to be funny
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I didn’t but I do.
That about sums it up.
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Ally McCoist- ex footballer,
How often do you have sex?
It used to be weekly and it still is – only it’s spelt differently. It’s now weakly…
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A mirror?
You know, on second thoughts, I dont think I want to.
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I notice how media presenters are pronouncing it you-ran-us these days. 
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Hence the jokes from Not the 9 o’clock News circa 1979 about the planet boom ho lay.
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I think that was bum holly.
If you have ever, like me, been tearing your hair out at time wasters on radio phone in programmes, you are not the only one:
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I’m always bemused by the callers to LBC who start by saying, quite grandly it often seems, “Thank you for taking my call.”
It’s a phone in: that’s what they do.
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And then they say, “I’m a first time caller and a but nervous.”
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… and hello to anybody that knows me.
