for SF 
8 Likes
A little vel - eau ride
Jules has suddenly become competitive. On our walks he trails a 33 metre line, unheld by me for the most part, it is merely a guarantee that I have time to stop a headlong rush if he spots animal life.
But there is a drawback for me, if we are on a narrow track and he is ahead it disturbs my equilibrium to avoid standing on it and bringing him up short with a jolt. But he often stops for a sniff around and I overtake him. But today when I did that he sped up to pass me again and a few times when I was half way passed and he caught sight of me out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly surged forward and to the side to block me. 
We went up through the forest and down through the field but as we neared the point where we turn back in again. we both raced ahead at the same time. After that it was game over the return path is narrow with no passing spots so he got back through the gate first. 
1 Like
A naval officer and a rating were having their hair cut in a barberâs shop at the same time. When the one cutting the officerâs hair finished, he asked if he would like it sprayed. The officer replied âGood God, man, of course not, my wife will think Iâve visited a brothel.â
Almost immediately the second barber finished the ratingâs haircut and asked the same question. The rating replied âSpray away mate, my wife doesnât know what a brothel smells like.â
9 Likes
Gigi regularly throws up the bits of whatever Tigre, our cat has caught, but didnât want to eat. Meanwhile the catâs usually already thrown up, but refers to do it on one of my late mother-in-lawâs antique Persian rugs (classy touch, huh?).
Nevertheless, have never been one to comb vomit for portentsâŚ
3 Likes
John, Jack and Fred, found themselves marooned on a small island in the middle of the ocean after their boat had run out of fuel, with no way to contact the outside world. Luckily, days later, John found a small ornate lantern lying on the sand which he picked up, and being overly imaginative, rubbed the lamp. To his great surprise, a genie appeared, and he felt much relieved when the genie said, âI am the genie of the lantern, and am authorised to grant you three wishes, one wish each.â
John immediately said, âI wish to be back home with my wife and childrenâ.
Then PfftâŚ.he was gone! John was back with his family. Once the family got over the fright of seeing him suddenly appear from nowhere, they were very happy and relieved to see him.
Next it was Jackâs turn. He was a confirmed bachelor and said, âI want to be back in my night club, surrounded by beautiful womenâ.
And suddenly, Jack was back in his night club, surrounded by beautiful women.
Finally, it was Fredâs turn. Fred was the lonely type. He thought for a minute and said, âIâm starting to feel lonely now. I wish my mates were back here with me.â
10 Likes
That took me a minute or two too long
1 Like
Thatâll be because of the error in the tense, Iâm sure.
Think I might have posted that previously⌠
That sort of note could trigger a divorceâŚ
Which isnât to say that my âbetter halfâ (they seem to like that term) couldnât occasionally benefit from following well-intended external advice in a parking situationâŚ
2 Likes