A little mid-week humour to lighten the mood

[Jennifer11]

I really miss dim sum. Years ago did anyone ever go to a large place in Leicester Square, London? It might have been called Chinatown and it was closed by HMRC for non-payment of taxes.

In its heyday it was wonderful, there was no menu but waiters and waitresses wheeled around trolleys piled up with bamboo steamer baskets with different dim sum that you could ask for. Some of the trolleys had little stoves that fried things like bean curd with ginger and they did a very good Singapore laksa soup. At the end they counted up how many steamers and plates you had on your table to calculate the bill. It wasn’t expensive.

[billybutcher]

[vero]

@Jennifer11

In its heyday it was wonderful, there was no menu but waiters and waitresses wheeled around trolleys piled up with bamboo steamer baskets with different dim sum that you could ask for

Chuen Cheng Ku? My favourite place for years.

[Jennifer11]

I don’t think I know that one, Vero.

[vero]

It is closed now but it was huge, just off Shaftesbury avenue, metal trolleys full of deliciousness clanked by as you sat stuffing your face, it was heaven.

[Jennifer11]

It sounds very like the place I knew in terms of the food. This one was actually in Leicester Square though.

[DrMarkH]

A woman I knew long ago who was an adrenaline junkie and had a degree in Chinese from Durham was recruited at uni by MI5 and spent the next year or so listening to conversations in bugged Chinese restos in Soho.

[KarenLot]

Absolutely brilliant Chris.

[KarenLot]

Yeah! Dim sum!

[ChrisMann]

@KarenLot

Absolutely brilliant Chris.

Thank you! Not my own work unfortunately!

[Ancient_Mariner]

[Ancient_Mariner]

[Gordian_nut]

Lord Puddle of Piddletown decides to get to the forefront of technology and buys a mobile phone. After leaving the shop he tries it out by phoning home. Old Scrotum the butler, the wrinkled retainer answers.

Scrotum

Yes my Lord

What’s her Ladyship doing?

I will go and find out my Lord

After a couple of minutes Old Scrotum returns:

She is in bed on top of the under gardener my Lord

Go get my gun

Off Old Scrotum goes and 10 minutes later he returns:

My Lord?

Go up stairs and shoot them both

Yes my Lord

Two shots can be heard and Old Scrotum returns:

My Lord?

Scrotum, put the bodies in the swimming pool

But, my Lord, you don’t have a swimming pool

Oh bugger! wrong number.

Any characters resembling those in Sir Henry at Rawlinson End is purely intentional. Vivian Stanshall.

[Arcalia]

I think this toilet could sound the death knell for man. It washes your bits and then you get a blow dry!!! I had never used one until very recently, but I now understand why my female friend who bought one 6 months ago has dumped her husband.

[Ancient_Mariner]

Blow job from a toilet? Who’d a thought it?

[hairbear]

@KarenLot

Yeah! Dim sum!

Went into Carrefour yesterday and they had set up a large cold counter near the entrance with lots of different samosas, dim sum and other fresh products. Surrounding it were cold cabinets full of different sorts of dim sum. Presumably because it’s Chinese New Year next week. So, We’ve taken advantage and bought lots of different dim sum to have for dinner tonight. We have a bamboo steamer and a tabletop electric heater with a deep pan that we can use to steam them at the table. That an an assortment of different dips and sauces will make a wonderful Valentines day meal.

[Jennifer11]

Thank you for the tip. We’re driving past Carrefour in Narbonne later, I’ll drop a hint to OH. Our Carrefour has had an ‘event’ for Chinese new year for a long time.

[Bonzocat]

A Jewish joke with a predictable Jewish punch line IMO!

Four Rabbis are in the habit of taking long walks together in the countryside. Being Rabbis, they get to talking about obscure points of Jewish theology. It usually becomes an argument, three against one, with the same rabbi always arguing against the other three. And then one of the other three will shrug and say: “That’s it, it’s three against one. Therefore, we’re right, you’re wrong. End of discussion.”

Naturally, the fourth rabbi starts getting a little tired of this.

It happens again. They’re walking and talking, and it becomes an argument, and it’s three against one again, and it’s the same odd-man-out as always. And as always, they say to him: “That’s it, it’s three against one. Therefore, we’re right, you’re wrong. End of discussion.”

And the fourth rabbi starts to pray. He says, “Dear God, you know I don’t ask you for much. But I put up with this all the time, and this time, this time, I know I’m right! Please, God, show them a sign, so that they may see the error of their ways.”

And no sooner does he say that… when, out of a cloudless blue sky, a white cloud appears, right above where the rabbits are walking! The fourth rabbi says: “Don’t you see, it’s a sign! God is telling you to listen to me!” The other rabbis shrug it off as a natural phenomenon.

The fourth rabbi prays even more fervently. “Dear God, do you see what idiots I have to put up with?? I beg you, give a sign that even they will understand.”. And no sooner does he say that… when the white cloud suddenly turns black, and a lightning bolt comes out of it, striking a tree near where the rabbis are walking. The fourth rabbi says: “It’s a sign! God wants you to listen to me!” The other rabbis shrug it off as a natural phenomenon.

The fourth rabbi starts to pray again… but before he can say anything, the black cloud parts, a beam of light comes down, and a booming voice says: “LISTEN TO HIM. HE’S RIGHT.”

The fourth rabbi glares at the others. “Well???”

One of the rabbis shrugs and says: “So now it’s three against two.”

[billybutcher]

[ChrisMann]