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An Man was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. ‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day …And repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.’
When the man returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs! ‘That’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’ The man nodded …‘I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead on that third day.’‘You mean from the hunger?’ asked the doctor.‘No, from the skipping!’
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A woman armed with a clipboard and pen approached me in the supermarket today and asked which grooming products I used. Judging by the look on her face I don’t think she was expecting me to say Facebook and vodka.
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Yeah, NHS anyone?
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This is usually an illustration of US company management, and derives from a text version.
I was trying to sort out in my mind different pasta shapes and i said out loud, “What’s rigatoni?”
My grandson said, “It’s when your body goes stiff after you die.”
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My only disappointment in her departure is that there will be no further tortuous rhymes for ‘Krankie’ in Private Eye’s occasional McGonagall pastiches.