Mark Sampson's ‘Life Out Of Balance’ had a rather profound effect in that it made me think. Of course it was a ‘meaning of life’ question that ricocheted around my head for hours. Most of you will think Monty Python, I thought not I. It would have to be philosophy. Plato was one of the earliest, most influential philosophers and for him the meaning of life was attaining the highest form of knowledge, which is the ‘idea of the good’ from which all good and just things obtain their usefulness and significance. That does not say too much to me, so let’s take a big ‘leap’ in time. Mark included Edvard Munch's ‘The Scream’ which is a representation of existential angst. Existentialist philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote of a ‘leap’ which he argued showed that life is full of absurdity and in one must make whatever of his and her own values in an apathetic world. One can live meaningfully, which is to say, free of despondency and angst, in an unreserved commitment to something finite. Thus one devotes their meaningful life to that commitment, despite the vulnerability fundamental to any attempt to do so. Thus he contradicts what Munch was trying to say with his painting.
No, none of that does it and I do not know which of the two views is better anyway. Let’s try Bob Dylan: "How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man." OK, it’s gender specific, but let’s think around it and see if we can agree with his conclusion: “The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind”. Interesting, but it is not really conclusive. Perhaps Monty Python is not wrong in the end since we learn when the all revealing note is read: "Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations."
I think that is what I set out to do, but not at all influenced by Monty Python because I was at it well before the 1983 film appeared.
I find the words a bit simple but “...try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations” does sum up what has been and the core of my life, thus is my meaning. Since the early 1970s the emphasis in that meaningfulness has been working for children, in the earliest days directly with them but far too often in an office and ultimately on paper later.
Now for a diversion that, in fact, leads to my point. Most days I walk my dogs just about when the late afternoon Ryanair flight passes immediately over on its way into Bergerac. Recently I have looked up and could sometimes have cried. Since I took my first flight in 1969, the vast majority have been work related. I have travelled to many countries to work with or for children, seen a lot of things that have made me think, frequently very profoundly about life itself and its meaning. I miss that, since the economic crisis and more so since health has held me back, I have been unable to travel very much. What I consider my meaning has been ‘taken from me’.
Mark is unequivocally sharing grief. It is the grief that comes in anticipation of bereavement. In this case, when that time comes in his mind Mark will be pre-prepared but nonetheless as unready as we all are when something or someone who is part of our meaning of life goes. Life is out of balance.
I too am grieving. I see the planes that represent my working life which became my reason for being, often to the detriment of all else. They fly past me but I now rarely use them. In that respect I grieve an enormous part of my life and the question arises why I am here at all? The aeroplanes are symbolic, but my ‘grounding’ very real. One old friend who is a motor bike fanatic has Guillain-Barré syndrome, so is now more or less paralysed. He can no longer ride a bike. He was also a mean jazz guitarist but can no longer play. A doctor told him he has probably the best part of 20 years before him, as if that was good news. He does not share the medical man's sanguine view of life. I am sure many of us know of similar stories.
There, I have said it, but now I must get on with life since it is somewhat more than just a slot in time and place exclusively for me. I wish you all good health and the best of everything else that is part of your meaning of life.