augh- your wee heart Beckie- they know how to pull at the heart strings -dont they but then again you know what the worlds like out there and sometimes u have to be cruel to be kind i guess... chin up- it will hopefully get better when hes interested in the girls- or worse ... not sure about that one lol
We had that at our children's school, not ours mind you. Children were being punished for not eating. One was to kneel in the corner for four minutes then go back and finish the food. Then there were slaps and cuffs for making a mess on the table. It all seemed a bit much and a mother got very upset. A petition to the council was raised in days, given into the hands of a member of the council to take to the meeting at the mairie that evening. The demands were that physical punishment by dinner ladies be stopped, that children were asked what was wrong if there appeared to be a problem and that the first point of contact was parents and not parts of children's bodies. Further to that, a suggestion was made that a 'postbox' be set up for the children to put in complaints,. comments, suggestions and so on and that they would be allowed to do so anonymously. There was a suggestion that was not acted on though, that the dinner ladies have training on working with young children. The woman who organised the petition consulted with enough council members before going ahead to be sure she had support It worked, since then the 'postbox' is up, the children's school council meet with the cook to talk about arrangements and peace has been achieved. Long may it last.
You have all made me feel better, my oldest daughter didn't like school either and we ended up putting her in private which worked for a year and although she likes seeing her friends there she only worked for the first year now she's being lazy again. I haven't got the option of putting him in a private school too but I hated taking them there and having to hand them over to the teacher screaming but they have to go to school and I want them to get a good education as I had an awful one.
I also sometimes wonder if it's because they do so much at home that they don't want to go to school, at the moment I don't work but when I did I mostly worked from home around them and I love doing things with them and playing with them. They haven't got all the latest things but they do have lots of animals including ponies so I take them riding and they have quad bikes and trampolines etc and because there is 4 of them there is always someone to play with. When I ask him why he doesn't want to go to school he says to me "Parce que je suis bien a la maison Maman." Which while it makes me feel good it doesn't help with the school problem! Hopefully it will work out somehow...
Beckie, you are his mother and you do know best. I am a teacher myself and I despair at the pedagogy they have in France and believe it or not - easy to believe in your case, the teachers do not have any pastoral care training never mind pedgagogic training. God forbid that you should tell the teacher how to do her job but I think you are so right- punishing children and taking their break off them is the done and easy thing to do in France, they dont look at why the child is playing up... could be because the lesson is boring/shit and not accessible? I remember my little one crying and crying when i left him in France and lament that I did this when he was only 3 and didnt need to go but then there was the language thing, the fact I was pregnant and husband away but anyhow -thats another story. To be honest, I would try to concentrate on building a good, solid relationship with the staff but dont let anyone push you around, sometimes a clearing of the air is as good a remedy as anything else-just tell them ! its just because we're to nice and the culture is very different in France- say what you mean and mean what you say- just tell- BACK OFF FATTIE -lol
He really loves all animals, especially chickens (not sure why...) and wants to be a farmer and some of our friends are farmers and I got them to talk to him about even if he wants to be a farmer he has to go to school and learn things and he can't be a farmer if he doesn't go to school and learn things so that has helped too.
Yes, I'm really pleased about the teacher and as I said I know he can be really naughty too, so I'm not saying he is a little angle and should never be punished but there are ways of doing things and why make stupid comments about coats, she must have seen his other coat before?
Heather's idea about chocolates is good but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to do it!
I completely understand that there needs to be some kind of punishment but if they would just talk to me I could do something, I really do see it as the parents should be there with the teachers to guide the children and when I hear about my kids doing naughty things they get punished and I understand that teachers can't sit down and talk to the kids, but if they work together with the parents I think there are things that could be done.
A month and a half ago my son wasn't working in class and I told him if he doesn't work I will either get the teacher to give me the work and he would do it at the weekends (after a couple of weekends he would probably realize it was better to do it at school!) or I would sit next to him at school and make sure he does the work. He looked at me in horror and has worked ever since! Having said that he'll probably come home with a note in his book tonight now I've said that, but it has worked up to now and he knows that I am more than capable of doing it!
The day in question when he had the lines, he did 2 hours of homework and at the time the school bus didn't get home until 5.45 so the poor lad only had time to eat and shower before going to bed there was no way I was going to make him miss his sleep as well to do lines from the dinner lady as well!
If ever anyone does give you the "magic solution" though please let me know!
Hi Beckie, puts it in a different light doesn't it, I can see why you are concerned as the last thing you need is for him not to want ot go to school. My little boy is in CP and he doesn't like to go to school - it's a boy thing I think at that age. He hates having to sit still all day and then do homework, I wouldn't dream of letting him do it on Tuesday night, it's bad enough on Monday and Thursdays.
It sounds that you are doing well with the teacher though and that is worth a lot. Heather's chocolate idea is a good one though and might help - in all ways :-)
Hi, thanks for all your comments. The school is a country school with 3 classes from MS to CM2. She is employed by the town hall and I did go and see the teacher about the lines and we agreed he should do them at the weekend. However, I do feel like it's a bit easy for her to just give him punishments that he should do at home and I already have problems getting him to do his homework - I make sure he does it but they are quite often a lot of tears.
My son Alex is 7 and last year he started CP and luckily it was with a new teacher who he likes and it is much better. The other teacher he had for the other years he did not like at all and he cried almost every school night because he didn't want to go. The teachers answer, instead of talking to me and trying to find a solution was to punish him all the time by not letting him go out on breaks. I did try and see her a number of times but her reply was always that it was because I wasn't bringing him up right and doing too much for him - so my fault! I did suggest that maybe if there is a problem not punishing him for all his break time, just some of it, because if he is already wound up if he can't have any free time at all things might not go well for the rest of the day, but what do I know I'm only his mother?!
I was also cross because the teacher didn't watch them when she left them in her class when they were punished and at one point my son cut one of his little friends hair. I only found out because the Mother of the little girl who is a good friend of mine, mentioned it to my husband and luckily wasn't at all cross. I pointed out to the teacher my concerns and she said it wasn't serious only a bit of hair and she told them off. I tried to say but it could have been a lot more serious and at the time my son was only 4 and in my opinion you just don't leave 4 year olds on their own especially with sharp objects around!
My youngest daughter, who is now with this teacher, loves school though and I think everything is going OK because she wants to go. I did try and ask the teacher but she just said everything is fine, so I'm hoping it is.....
Anyway, that is another story and is just to fill you in on one of the reasons why I was really pleased last year and this year because my son has got a teacher he really likes. She started at the school the same year my son started her class and I went and saw her and told her that I had problems with Alex and he cried because he didn't want to go to school and hopefully it was something we could work on together and if ever there were any problems could she let me know straight away - she has always done this and things are so much better even though he gets told off by his Dad and me if he has been messing around.
I was a little more "careful" with him as when I was pregnant they found out he only had one kidney, so I was really worried. I know Alex is not an easy child, I have 4 children, he is my 2nd and I was a lot more tried when he was a little boy than I am now that I've got 4 children and get up at 6 every morning to get my oldest one up for college! I have worked so hard with him getting him to express his feelings and talk about things and he is so much better now. When he was younger he would get up in the middle of the night and do naughty things, managed to lock me out of my car in the car park anything he could do to get attention but talking to him being firm and fair has made so much difference.
I think the above is why I feel so strongly, I have worked so hard and his new teacher has really helped, he has become so much happier, confident and manages (usually) to canalize his energy and really talks to me and I don't want it ruined by some women because she can't keep her remarks to herself. I told my son this morning (probably not the right reaction to have but I was so cross) that if she had any more remarks to make she should tell me personally!
Hi Beckie, I know how you feel and have been in the same position- it is true though that in general school staff are a lot more opinionated and stick their noses in where they shouldnt. I agree with Michelle though and always go through the class teacher. What about some chocolates at Xmas time for all the dinner staff for helping out with the kids... i know that would go around well and maybe she'll choke on a toffee one lol. Take it with a pinch of salt -up to a point as you indicated- so much negativity cant be good forthe little ones
Umm, agree the dinner lady should not be giving out lines but as Michelle says there are different things to be taken into consideration. I too would talk to the teacher to find out what went on exactly. I went into school this week and my 6 year old son's story was not highly accurate!
As for the other stuff about coats and homework the lady was probably just making conversation, school staff are much more inclusive here - for example our kids get kisses goodbye every school holiday and all the staff will make comments on stuff that is considered 'not done' in other countries. For example, the coat remark would probably not be allowed as the parents might not be able to afford a new coat and then the child would be upset and so on. Personally unless she says something you consider highly insulting then I wouldn't bother, you know the reality - his coats in the wash, yeah, no worries. On the subject of coats my little one goes alternately in one coat that is snug and one that is way too big but as I have to wash them every other day and he has torn them both, I don't give a whatsit so long as he is warm and clean.