Anyone into Rare Plants

I’m marking this one in the Diary for next year… looks fascinating…

[Rare plant] (Mandrake) (

I feel a bit shy about these plants which I found in the garden when we moved in. They don’t look anything special, and I thought they might be a nuusance like Himalayan balsam, so I tried to pull them up by the roots, but they resisted my efforts.

I asked my nextdoor neighbour’s help but he went pale and ran indoors. So I persisted in trying to uproot the things, and seized a small one.

Giving it a mighty yank, helped by a fork, I tugged and tugged.

Amazingly, I heard a scream, which seemed to come from the plant. I stepped back and prodded the plant with my boot. ‘Espèce d’ enculé ! Fous le camp! " it shrieked, so all the neighbours could hear, thinking perhaps I was having a tiff with my OH.

Being unused to being shrieked at be a garden weed, I did as I was told, but shall be happy to give away these horticultural horrors to anyone withe balls to dig them up. They might be useful as deterrents to gardeners who lose leeks or turnips etc to theives.

Anyone who knows how to silence or uproot them please let me know by PM.

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Well if you do go - pop in to SF Towers - not a zillion miles away …! X

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